Easter Eggs

[Gevin Chapwell]

Purely hypothetically, if someone was going to leave a shitty job and wanted to leave behind a few "Easter Eggs" that might be discovered in the next few weeks/months, what would be a good idea? Nothing too dodgy obviously.

[JimBentley]

What does your job involve? I mean, the hypothetical job not related to you in any way? What do (hypothetical) you have access to in terms of facilities and infrastructure? Is it an office job, or something else? Are there any particular things related to the job that are unusual or of special importance? I would certainly need more information before offering any of my awesome advice.

[Ryan Taylor]

Purely hypothetically, if someone was going to leave a shitty job and wanted to leave behind a few "Easter Eggs" that might be discovered in the next few weeks/months, what would be a good idea? Nothing too dodgy obviously.

Don't leave behind Easter Eggs, just leave behind turds everywhere but the toilet.

[Gevin Chapwell]

What does your job involve? I mean, the hypothetical job not related to you in any way? What do (hypothetical) you have access to in terms of facilities and infrastructure? Is it an office job, or something else? Are there any particular things related to the job that are unusual or of special importance? I would certainly need more information before offering any of my awesome advice.

The hypothetical job is an office job. It has standard office stuff. I can't think of anything particularly special about it that you'd need to know. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful (although I'm still expecting you to be helpful).

[Michael Wallace]

Office job? Reckon you could swing the old "5 sheep numbered 1, 2, 4, 5" trick?

[Gevin Chapwell]

Office job? Reckon you could swing the old "5 sheep numbered 1, 2, 4, 5" trick?

The what?

[Michael Wallace]

Office job? Reckon you could swing the old "5 sheep numbered 1, 2, 4, 5" trick?

The what?

Oops, well I meant 4 sheep, not 5, but I thought everyone had heard of this - you let loose 4 sheep in, say, your school grounds on leavers' day, number them 1, 2, 4 and 5, and the 'joke' is that they'll spend forever looking for the (non-existent) 3.

[Ryan Taylor]

Office job? Reckon you could swing the old "5 sheep numbered 1, 2, 4, 5" trick?

The what?

Oops, well I meant 4 sheep, not 5, but I thought everyone had heard of this - you let loose 4 sheep in, say, your school grounds on leavers' day, number them 1, 2, 4 and 5, and the 'joke' is that they'll spend forever looking for the (non-existent) 3.

Probably a southern thing. Bloody southerners. Or Welsh perhaps?

[Matt Morrison]

Do some of the sort of things sixth form leavers do in the common room before summer to welcome in next year's students.

A dead rat in the vending machine might not be doable, but if you have those classic panel ceilings like our common room did and the hypothetical office might well, then move a panel, put a dead fish up there. The smell doesn't come through at first but gradually it begins to rot and then eventually decomposes and the goo weakens the ceiling panel and the mess falls through. Allegedly. And hypothetically.

[Lesley Hines]

Do some of the sort of things sixth form leavers do in the common room before summer to welcome in next year's students.

A dead rat in the vending machine might not be doable, but if you have those classic panel ceilings like our common room did and the hypothetical office might well, then move a panel, put a dead fish up there. The smell doesn't come through at first but gradually it begins to rot and then eventually decomposes and the goo weakens the ceiling panel and the mess falls through. Allegedly. And hypothetically.

Nice. Prawn sandwich tho - less traceable. Every office has got a prawn sandwich in there somewhere. Don't limit yourself to the ceiling either - our old office's floor was tiles on stilts (to allow all the cable runs underneath) so it might be worth investigating that.

For maximum effect you really need the office dweeb (tell-tale signs tank tops and all-staff emails) unknowingly on board.

Don't forget the value of hiding the keys to the stationery cupboard / toilet roll cupboard, or planting a lacy thong (or proper apple catchers) sticking out of the (male) Director's top drawer for the cleaner to find and discuss with her colleagues, family, their friends, co-workers, etc.

For more suggestions I'd read e or particularly e[2] by Matt Beaumont - it's an hilarious guide to office life.

[Gevin Chapwell]

Some interesting ideas - I prefer a vegetarian alternative to prawns/fish though - I'd already considered this.

Something pointless that no-one ever uses or moves could be superglued down to see how long it would take anyone to notice. A new "bin" down the back of a cabinet where all sorts of rubbish has already gone, including a big sign saying "Pwned" (this is all hypothetical though).

[Jon Corby]

Is the hypothetical job hypothetically shitty because of the hypothetical nature of the job, or because the hypothetical people there are twats?

[Gevin Chapwell]

Is the hypothetical job hypothetically shitty because of the hypothetical nature of the job, or because the hypothetical people there are twats?

The hypothetical managers are twats. Most of the hypothetical "normal" people are OK. But it is also a shitty job anyway (hypothetically).

[Jon Corby]

Is the hypothetical job hypothetically shitty because of the hypothetical nature of the job, or because the hypothetical people there are twats?

The hypothetical managers are twats. Most of the hypothetical "normal" people are OK. But it is also a shitty job anyway (hypothetically).

But then it's shitty for the normal people too probably. Leaving rotting fish around is going to affect them as much as (if not more than) the managers. Rethink?

[Kirk Bevins]

Leaving rotting fish around is going to affect them as much as (if not more than) the managers. Rethink?

You could leave the fish somewhere that would just affect the managers - like their office perhaps? Then it boils down to whether you can put it there without them noticing.

Although, in saying this, if you put the fish in the normal office, the workers may claim it stinks so much that they refuse to work until the stench is cleared. This would put severe stress on the managers while they try to find the fish and get their productivity levels back up etc. Just make sure you wear gloves...

[Gevin Chapwell]

I think the office would get evacuated if there was a bad enough smell. Most people would probably find it funny. The ones that wouldn't would be my target people anyway. But I'm not sure I would actually do that (all hypothetically anyway).

[Lesley Hines]

Is the hypothetical job hypothetically shitty because of the hypothetical nature of the job, or because the hypothetical people there are twats?

The hypothetical managers are twats. Most of the hypothetical "normal" people are OK. But it is also a shitty job anyway (hypothetically).

But then it's shitty for the normal people too probably. Leaving rotting fish around is going to affect them as much as (if not more than) the managers. Rethink?

Yes. You're right.

Proper eejits need gay porn where the cleaners will find it.

[Gevin Chapwell]

In the hypothetical situation, the hypothetical person still hasn't hypothetically left.