Toilet Time

[Michael Wallace]

Scientific research at its finest. If your toilet proceedings don't involve a door, then use your own judgement.

For bonus marks, how long do you think is a reasonable time to spend in the loo?

[Ben Hunter]

I wear a nappy so I'm not sure.

[Gavin Chipper]

Depends on the poo really. I would say if it's over 15 minutes it's starting to get excessive though.

[JimBentley]

I'd like to know how whoever voted for "More than 25 minutes and up to and including 30 minutes" can be so exact about their timing?

Awesome poll btw.

[Charlie Reams]

I'd like to know how whoever voted for "More than 25 minutes and up to and including 30 minutes" can be so exact about their timing?

Awesome poll btw.

That was me, and I felt like voting for over 30 minutes was too vague. I like to use the toilet as a place to escape and read a book, the actual pooing is secondary.

[JimBentley]

I'd like to know how whoever voted for "More than 25 minutes and up to and including 30 minutes" can be so exact about their timing?

Awesome poll btw.

That was me, and I felt like voting for over 30 minutes was too vague. I like to use the toilet as a place to escape and read a book, the actual pooing is secondary.

Interesting. I too do this sometimes, but not normally, so I went for "under 3 minutes" as that's more my "normal" thing. Already this poll is uncovering some valuable insights into our lives.

[Gavin Chipper]

I'd like to know how whoever voted for "More than 25 minutes and up to and including 30 minutes" can be so exact about their timing?

Awesome poll btw.

That was me, and I felt like voting for over 30 minutes was too vague. I like to use the toilet as a place to escape and read a book, the actual pooing is secondary.

Following on from this, I think it would be interesting to know how much time people spend on each part of the process. Is it a quick poo and then a lot of wiping or perhaps a long time pooing and a quick wipe?

[Ryan Taylor]

As I've said in another thread, I often play Apterous whilst on the toilet. So that's a nice thought, that I could be squeezing one out whilst beating you on a crucial (or something). But I only did that at home and now that I have moved in with other friends I think it would be weird if I started disappearing with my laptop to the toilet. Plus the bathroom is very cold here and not as homely as the one I left behind which encourages me to be a little quicker than back at home. I could sit for up to half an hour before my thighs became numb and started cutting out a bit of blood to the lower limbs. At this point I would fight it for about another 10 minutes (knowing that an awesome case of pins and needles was due (which I like the feeling of)) before thinking that it was probably best to get off my arse, wipe it, and go back to playing Apterous in the comfort of my computer chair. I still like to take my time and I voted for "More than 10 minutes and up to and including 15 minutes". It is a rare case (one which usually means I'm ill) if I spend longer than 15 minutes now.

[Peter Mabey]

Following on from this, I think it would be interesting to know how much time people spend on each part of the process. Is it a quick poo and then a lot of wiping or perhaps a long time pooing and a quick wipe?

The former if my turds are soft, the latter if hard - I suppose it depends on previous days' diet, but I've not kept a diary
BTW, poo now seems to be the ordinary 'polite' word for shit: I don't remember it at all from my childhood (in the 30s) the word in the family was 'big ones' - I don't recall the kids at school talking of 'Number Ones', though 'Number Two' for piss was usual. Perhaps the word became popularised when wildlife programmes found the need to discuss animal droppings ?

[Ian Volante]

Hmm, definitely depends on consistency. I'll probably also take longer if I'm at work.

[John Bosley]

In Hertfordshire, Number One was piss and two was poo !
It takes me longer when Dora is licking my feet.
Dora is the cat !

[Jon Corby]

In Hertfordshire, Number One was piss and two was poo !

Yeah, I think Peter must have got those mixed up. 2 is always poo.

[Gavin Chipper]

"Number two" is presumably poo because it rhymes. And I think "Number one" is just a "back formation" from this, but I've always found it annoying.

[JimBentley]

"Number two" is presumably poo because it rhymes. And I think "Number one" is just a "back formation" from this, but I've always found it annoying.

I love that you find that annoying. PLEASE come to COLIN in January. Seriously, please.

[Charlie Reams]

"Number two" is presumably poo because it rhymes. And I think "Number one" is just a "back formation" from this, but I've always found it annoying.

I love that you find that annoying. PLEASE come to COLIN in January. Seriously, please.

Also please post pictures of your slippers. We still have so much to learn about you.

[Gavin Chipper]

I'm considering COLIN. But because I'm not quite sociopathic enough to go to a real event and tell people a made up name, if I did, you'd find out my real name.

[David Williams]

I'm considering COLIN. But because I'm not quite sociopathic enough to go to a real event and tell people a made up name, if I did, you'd find out my real name.

But they wouldn't know it was you.

[Ben Wilson]

I'm considering COLIN. But because I'm not quite sociopathic enough to go to a real event and tell people a made up name, if I did, you'd find out my real name.

I honestly wouldn't mind if you entered under the name 'Gevin' and wore one of those V for Vendetta masks all day long. You could be COLIN's answer to the Stig, only not as good.

[Jon Corby]

I'm considering COLIN. But because I'm not quite sociopathic enough to go to a real event and tell people a made up name, if I did, you'd find out my real name.

Do it! I'm going

[Jon O'Neill]

Yeah, come.