The backwards thread

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:21 pm

Jon Corby wrote:So how does the backwards thread work?

Basically, all the posts in this thread are in reverse chronological order. So normally the answer to your question would appear in the following post, whereas in this thread it's in the previous one! Easy!

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:21 pm

So how does the backwards thread work?

Oh, and about 12 as far as I can remember. Possibly more.

Ben Hunter · Post by **Ben Hunter** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:26 pm

I can't believe this thread has been going on for so long without anybody answering Jon's incessant questioning about how this backwards thread works, someone please put him out of his misery. How many times have you asked so far, Jon?

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:27 pm

Jon, give me a quick reminder - how many hours were you saying you've spent photoshopping Kirk's head onto pictures of naked men?

And to answer your query, it happened last week but as far as I know that was the first time in almost 3,000 years.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:34 pm

HOW DOES THIS BACKWARDS THREAD WORK? FFS, somebody answer me! Come on Ben, sort them out.

That's very interesting though Matt - how often would you say that happens?

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:40 pm

I reckon if you ask in capitals this time Jon, people might respond. If not, try Ben Hunter. He's good at sorting people out.

Oh, incidentally, I just noticed some uninteresting astrological phenomenon or something. I'm going to go research it.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:41 pm

@ Jason Larsen: £4.90 or so, depending on the size.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:43 pm

So how does this backwards thread work? Why does everyone keep ignoring this question?

Jason - I wouldn't put it in my mouth personally, but I hear that Charlie sometimes does for money. I'll try and get him in here.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:45 pm

I'm sure everyone has got the hang of this backwards thing by, what, 400 posts in? You'd have to be pretty dumb not to get it by now. Anyway I'm going to stop reading now.

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:46 pm

In case anyone's wondering, you can join in here too - you just post messages in reverse chronological order.
I swear that Corby kid is so dumb that he'll probably keep on asking how it works another few times before he pays attention.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:50 pm

How does this backwards thread work?

Haha, that's funny - I reckon it was probably during that hug with Charlie, lol.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:51 pm

My mom wonders when your hair started growing back, Corby.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:52 pm

It's up to her if she wants to do that really. Why, what does your mum do all day?

I can sense that you're getting in one of your little moods Charlie, and you're just gonna flounce off in a minute.

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:12 pm

My mom finds her day job unsatisfying and is thinking of taking up night work. And don't make one of your stupid jokes, Corby.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:19 pm

Oh. I just got an email from your mum to say she probably won't be able to make any more Saturday nights at the Swingers Club Charlie. How come?

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:32 pm

Has anyone heard from my mom today?

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:45 pm

Just had a message from Charlie asking if I had the number for any private investigators. Curious...

Oh, and twice on weekdays, four times a day at the weekend.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:54 pm

Fine, be like that. If you can't be bothered to pick me up I'll get the bus then. How often does it run from the train station?

And, how does this backwards thread work?

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:58 pm

Well there's going to be loads of nibbles I think, and various other bits of finger food.

And sorry Jon, I've checked - I just can't accommodate you.

Ben Hunter · Post by **Ben Hunter** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:04 pm

Jon I'm not sure, I think I may have snapped up the last seat. So what's going to be available to eat on Saturday night, apart from Charlie's mum?

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:08 pm

Wait - hang on, let me get this straight - everybody's sorted for lifts now except me? And you're expecting me to bring the Carol Vorderman sex doll on public transport? Is that what you're saying?

Ben Hunter · Post by **Ben Hunter** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:09 pm

Phew, got my lift sorted. COSOHO is gonna be sweet, thanks for putting it on, Ben.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:18 pm

Ha, have you heard what Corby's nicknamed his new wig? COSOHO!

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:24 pm

Right it looks like we're all sorted then, me & Ben coming on the train as it stands, and the rest of you are sorted in cars?

Oh and by the way, Kai has somehow gotten wind of all this, but since this is an - ahem - 'adult' themed Countdown event, I just told him COSOHO was the name of my new wig. I think the daft little scrote believed me! (Hopefully he won't read this.)

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:25 pm

I don't know who has the Carol sex doll right now but they should definitely bring it. And yes, Ben, if you say so.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:31 pm

There isn't a Rachel one yet. Will we still be using the Carol one even though she isn't on the show anymore?

And Ben I think the idea was that you only use your mouth if your opponent has a 9, but I quite like that idea. See what Charlie says - like I said earlier, he's the one who's come up with all the rules.

Ben Hunter · Post by **Ben Hunter** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:35 pm

Tested out the Suzy doll last night, so that one's good to go. Just inflating the Jeff and the Dezzes now (and before you complain, we have some female guests and they should be accomodated just like everyone else). Anyone know who has the Carol and Rachel?

And sorry Jason but could you please keep your doll at home, necrophillia is disgusting, even when simulated.

Ben Hunter · Post by **Ben Hunter** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:41 pm

I'm not sure Charlie, I know ANORECTAL doesn't come up that often but I still don't want to risk the pain. How about just using your mouth? And maybe extend the rule so that the mouth is used whenever someone spots a Darren?

Charlie Reams · Post by **Charlie Reams** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:45 pm

I like your idea, but I think it needs a greater element of danger. What about a variant which hybridises Countdown, charades and casual rape?

Phil Reynolds · Post by **Phil Reynolds** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:57 pm

Jon Corby wrote:Charlie has devised the rules of this game - ask him if he'd consider it.

OK. Charlie, would you be willing to play whilst suspended by your nipples from the ceiling?

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:09 pm

The ideas are flying around a bit thick and fast at the moment, it's probably best if just one person is responsible for the rules.

So for any more suggestions: up to this point, Charlie has devised the rules of this game - ask him if he'd consider it.

Personally I'm game for pretty much anything.

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:43 pm

Obviously it needs something else adding to it- I quite like Jono's idea of downing a shot of vodka every time you missed the max, but how about making it 'Strip' rules as well? Obviously Corby would be banned from participating if this were the case.

Phil Reynolds · Post by **Phil Reynolds** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:45 pm

You moron - you've spelt it with only one 'p'.

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:48 pm

Jon Corby wrote:supository

Careful now, you'll invoke the wrath of Reynolds.

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 6:14 pm

This'll have to be my last post in this thread, as obviously I'll have a lot of work to do to get ready for Saturday. It's going to be an epic occasion, that's for sure!

Oh, one last thing, though, my mate at the warehouse says they've only got 12 in stock, but I'll snap up what I can and we can sort out the technicalities on the night.

Gavin Chipper · Post by **Gavin Chipper** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 6:27 pm

I think Jon Corby is mad. If I were a betting man I'd say he's likely to reply to one of his own posts as if it were from a different person, killing off this thread completely.

Also Jim, I'd like to borrow some horses and have heard you're the man. How many can you get me for Saturday night?

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:10 pm

Ben Hunter wrote:If Corby doesn't agree with this post he can shove it up his dirty little

That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:37 pm

Ben Hunter wrote:If Corby doesn't agree with this post he can shove it up his dirty little

lol, I can't actually because I've just put a supository up there to combat the seepage! spelt deliberately with one p as a trap for Reynolds - he won't be able to help himself *snicker*

Ben Hunter · Post by **Ben Hunter** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:57 pm

Charlie, I was thinking of adding rules in which you have to act out suggestive words like NOSEGAY and the like, although I'm quite worried about ANORECTAL, it's too dangerous and we should probably use an alternative orifice. I know the anally fixated Jon Corby will object to this restriction but I must think about health and safety, and I'm sure you'll all agree. If Corby doesn't agree with this post he can shove it up his dirty little

And in response to whoever asked (can't remember now), sure, you can bring them along, but try keep them all the same colour.

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:05 pm

I'm definitely going to have to remember my camcorder after that suggestion. And stop misquoting me you little git.

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:16 pm

I don't really know, I wasn't allowed to try it even though I asked nicely. Anyway, we should get back on topic.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:50 am

Ben Wilson wrote:and that's how I came across Charlie's mum

lol, we'll all be doing that on Saturday if Charlie doesn't welch on the bet.

Jim, did it taste nice? I don't think I'd have been able to do that without thinking of Patricia Routledge to be honest, lol

Hang on, I've got some kind of anal seepage issue going on here that I'd better attend to.

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:13 pm

Jon Corby wrote:I heard a rumour

Haha, that reminds me of the time I went to Ibiza and Sticky Vicky was dispensing jets of champagne (at a hell of a projectile force, too) from her fanny to the lucky punters in some seedy nightspot or other.

Jon Corby · Post by **Jon Corby** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:00 pm

Is that the club we've hired? I heard a rumour about the cast of Keeping Up Appearances having a wrap party there, and getting up to all sorts. Maybe I'll fill you in if I get drunk enough!

Interesting Jim - I always wondered why you got away with having no space in your username while we all were forced to have them!

Graham Easton · Post by **Graham Easton** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:07 pm

Ben, could my friends Sanjay,Winston and Nigel come along ?

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:33 pm

Just had a call from my mate Terry to say that the ironically named 'Charlie's' will be relatively empty on Saturday so we've got no problem using it. I was staying with him a couple of months ago and that's how I came across Charlie's. Highly recommended.

And Jim- seriously?

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 4:10 pm

Yeah, I heard about that as well, but I'm really not sure it's true. It's like the Bob Holness played the saxophone solo on "Baker Street" one, which Stuart Maconie has owned up to starting. However, the Chaka Khan one is definitely for real. I know, I was amazed too. I didn't think that could physically be done, but I have it on good authority that it used to be a pretty regular occurrence when she was on tour.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 4:27 pm

Ben Wilson wrote:I took

Ben Wilson wrote:one

Ben Wilson wrote:up

Ben Wilson wrote:the

Ben Wilson wrote:a

Ben Wilson wrote:hole

And also, I'm liking the idea of webcam apterous. Nice one Gev.

Gavin Chipper · Post by **Gavin Chipper** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:40 pm

For some reason it's just occurred to me that it would be a good idea for people to see each other while playing Apterous, using webcams. So anyone viewing the game can see both players and it would be like a real episode of Countdown! You could also use footage from various DC guests, presenters, Susie etc and put it all together.

Also, I'm feeling positive and think that by the end of this thread Michael Jackson will be alive.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:20 pm

For some reason it's just occurred to me that Gev's next post will be a revelation of some sort.

And sorry, but he's had to pull out at the last minute; he's booked for a lap dance on that night.

Kevin Thurlow · Post by **Kevin Thurlow** » Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:13 am

Did anyone else think Jon's comment was a bit over the top? If I were a moderator I might look at what he said and whip it out or blue pencil it. We don't want to corrupt young Kai so he starts making unseemly or suggestive comments, do we?

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:44 pm

I took Corby's suggestion under consideration but I think one will be enough, any more than that will be going up a road I don't think anyone really wants. That said though, the idea isn't entirely without merit, it just needs a second look, or a whole new perspective.

Just you wait, I bet I've killed the conversation again.

JimBentley · Post by **JimBentley** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:50 pm

I think it could be really interesting with three, but two is probably enough (although one should be optional, just to be used at strategic times). Depends on who's playing, really.

Kai Laddiman · Post by **Kai Laddiman** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:56 am

*bump*

Charlie, when are they going to get here? I've been waiting for ages. Ooh, and I'll have two please.

Dinos Sfyris · Post by **Dinos Sfyris** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:32 am

Uh-oh maybe I shouldn't have put that. Sexcetera are now threatening me with libel. Best not participate in this thread any further.

Dinos Sfyris · Post by **Dinos Sfyris** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:36 am

It's called Corby and Reams' Night of CoC: What really happened... Anybody want a copy?

Phil Reynolds · Post by **Phil Reynolds** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:03 pm

Michael Wallace wrote:Phil, what happened to that jizz tape you were going to lend me?

Dinos asked if he could borrow it to give Emma a laugh on her birthday.

Matt Morrison · Post by **Matt Morrison** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:48 pm

See ya guys. I'll be back in a few weeks.

Ben Wilson · Post by **Ben Wilson** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:59 pm

I'm really not sure I can scrounge up that much vodka at such short notice (let alone a badger), and frankly that suggestion's just disgusting anyway, next thing you know this thread'll scare away the more sensitive and delicate forum members.

Matthew Green · Post by **Matthew Green** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:36 pm

I don't think you understood the joke.

BTW Ben, I just sent you a PM.