The Official Finals "jizz in your pants" excitement thread

[Dinos Sfyris]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Cannot wait to see everyone again in like 12 hours!!!

[Mod Edit: The excessive width was hurting me. And yes, that's what she said.]

[Charlie Reams]

My pilgrimage started some hours ago as I'm stopping over with my parents after the first leg of my northern trek. Oooooooooooh yeah!

[Lesley Hines]

That's soooooooooo sexist. How can us laydees respond to this?

I feel the phrase is though
HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm coming

[Kirk Bevins]

That has to be the worst sleep ever. After finally struggling to sleep at 1am, a friend of mine texted me at 1:30am to wake me up. After taking 30 minutes to get back to sleep I was awoken at 2:45am by my drunk housemates outside returning from town being so unnecessarily loud. I also had a stomach ache at this point. Cue about an hour of trying to get back to sleep -closing my eyes for what seemed like an eternity and just not being able to fall asleep. I then wake up at 8am, still excited (2 hours earier than I am due to be awake) but I just got out of bed.....too excited

[James Robinson]

That has to be the worst sleep ever. After finally struggling to sleep at 1am, a friend of mine texted me at 1:30pm to wake me up. After taking 30 minutes to get back to sleep I was awoken at 2:45am by my drunk housemates outside returning from town being so unnecessarily loud. I also had a stomach ache at this point. Cue about an hour of trying to get back to sleep -closing my eyes for what seemed like an eternity and just not being able to fall asleep. I then wake up at 8am, still excited (2 hours earier than I am due to be awake) but I just got out of bed.....too excited

What's wrong with sleeping for 12 and a half hours straight? What I'd kill to have a good amount of sleep! Then after that have another 12 and 3/4 hours of sleep. You seem to have more sleep than a sloth

[Kirk Bevins]

Sorry, I clearly put 'pm' in one of those times when I meant 'am'. Adjusted now.

[Darren Carter]

I'm so jealous as I would have loved to have gone but completely brassic at the minute. Good luck to all the contestants, but COME ON THE BURGINATOR!

[Jon Corby]

COME ON THE BURGINATOR!

This thread is clearly for pants-based ejaculation only.

[Phil Reynolds]

I realise the poll isn't meant to be serious (especially as most of us still don't know who all the quarter-finalists are), but it still suggests that we should all be rooting for Innis, which must be a bit hurtful and demoralising for Andrew, Chris etc. I've nothing against Innis but why single him out for support?

Anyway, having got that po-faced rant out of the way, have a great time everyone - I'm really jealous and just wish I could be there. If one of the players can be persuaded to throw a conundrum, so we can get a camera shot of you all for posterity, that would be great.

[Ben Wilson]

That has to be the worst sleep ever. After finally struggling to sleep at 1am, a friend of mine texted me at 1:30am to wake me up.

Same thing happened to me, I crawled into bed around 11pm, knackered as hell (as evidence by yesterday's duel performance) and was woken in the middle of a night by a text from a forumite who shall remain name(*cough*Dinos*cough*)less. Barely able to move my arms due to knackeredness I texted him back secretly thinking 'why in god's name did he just text me at 3am?' before noticing that the text actually came through at, erm, 12:15.

In other news, my pants won't know what's hit them, such is the excitedness of me. I'll only be there for the semis- what time do festivities start and who can I share a taxi from Piccadilly station with?

[Ralph Gillions]

Good luck to all the contestants, but COME ON THE BURGINATOR!

Indeed! Indeed!

[Matthew Green]

That's soooooooooo sexist. How can us laydees respond to this?

I feel the phrase is though
HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm coming

Do a google search (unfiltered of course) for Cytheria.

[Gavin Chipper]

Why don't you (Kirk and Ben) turn your phones off when you go to bed???

[Kirk Bevins]

Why don't you (Kirk and Ben) turn your phones off when you go to bed???

Good question. I use my alarm and feel wary about turning my phone off if I have an alarm programmed. Secondly nobody should text in the middle of the night, except drunks.

[Alec Rivers]

I use my alarm and feel wary about turning my phone off if I have an alarm programmed.

If I'm setting my phone's alarm for 0700, say, I just set Silent as a timed profile expiring at 0659.

[Kirk Bevins]

If I'm setting my phone's alarm for 0700, say, I just set Silent as a timed profile expiring at 0659.

I'm not as technologically minded as you.

[Alec Rivers]

If I'm setting my phone's alarm for 0700, say, I just set Silent as a timed profile expiring at 0659.

I'm not as technologically minded as you.

Soz.

[Dinos Sfyris]

I realise the poll isn't meant to be serious (especially as most of us still don't know who all the quarter-finalists are), but it still suggests that we should all be rooting for Innis, which must be a bit hurtful and demoralising for Andrew, Chris etc. I've nothing against Innis but why single him out for support?

I DID provide an abstain option for those whose opinions are irrelevant *teasing emoticon. Plus all polls get ripped to pieces anyway so I might as well just have at it. If any other finalists were distraught by the creation of aforementioned poll I apologise. You're all champions in my eyes but especially Innis!

[Ian Volante]

I use my alarm and feel wary about turning my phone off if I have an alarm programmed.

If I'm setting my phone's alarm for 0700, say, I just set Silent as a timed profile expiring at 0659.

That implies having a phone that does such wondrous things! Whatever happened to alarm clocks, or stereos set to come on? No chance of pesky late-night texts then.

[Gavin Chipper]

Did someone call Rachel "Ian"?

[JackHurst]

In other news, my pants won't know what's hit them, such is the excitedness of me. I'll only be there for the semis- what time do festivities start and who can I share a taxi from Piccadilly station with?

I thought there was a funny smell when I was sitting next to you, but I didn't want to say anything

[Phil Reynolds]

Whatever happened to alarm clocks

Absolutely nothing.

I think the way that modern cellphone design runs blatantly counter to the UNIX philosophy of "do one thing, and do it well" is probably the third most hateful thing about them (after the fact that every other person you pass in the street seems to be yelling into one, and that texting is the most painful form of communication ever invented - you can write a 20-line email in the time it takes to compose a three-line text). If you want an alarm call - set your alarm clock. If you want to take a photograph - use your camera. And in the highly unlikely event that you need urgently to talk to your best friend while browsing the deli counter at Tesco, use your mobile. Just not near me.

[Kirk Bevins]

Whatever happened to alarm clocks

Absolutely nothing.

I think the way that modern cellphone design runs blatantly counter to the UNIX philosophy of "do one thing, and do it well" is probably the third most hateful thing about them (after the fact that every other person you pass in the street seems to be yelling into one, and that texting is the most painful form of communication ever invented - you can write a 20-line email in the time it takes to compose a three-line text). If you want an alarm call - set your alarm clock. If you want to take a photograph - use your camera. And in the highly unlikely event that you need urgently to talk to your best friend while browsing the deli counter at Tesco, use your mobile. Just not near me.

You're clearly not using predictive text then - texting is speedy.

Also I set both an alarm clock AND a phone. Sometimes if I just set an alarm clock, I'll wake up and turn it off and go back to sleep. The phone alarm is like a back up.

[Charlie Reams]

You're clearly not using predictive text then - texting is speedy.

It really isn't though.

It's particularly bad any time you want to use a word it doesn't know, when you fumble around wondering if you've mistyped (especially words which map to several consecutive presses of the same key), then finally give up and return to the extremely inefficient non-predictive method. (I mean, two key presses for E. Seriously?)

I like texting but I'm not under any illusion that it's efficient.

[D Eadie]

You're clearly not using predictive text then - texting is speedy.

It really isn't though.

It's particularly bad any time you want to use a word it doesn't know, when you fumble around wondering if you've mistyped (especially words which map to several consecutive presses of the same key), then finally give up and return to the extremely inefficient non-predictive method. (I mean, two key presses for E. Seriously?)

I like texting but I'm not under any illusion that it's efficient.

perhaps onion rabies suggests landscape uterus.


*predictive off*

i bet some sad bastard tries to work it out.

[Alec Rivers]

It really isn't though.

Cool. That video highlights something else, too: If that test was done in an English studio, the people would have the common sense and decency to stfu and let them concentrate on the task, instead of whooping and cheering like lobotomized chimps.

[Ian Volante]

Whatever happened to alarm clocks

Absolutely nothing.

I think the way that modern cellphone design runs blatantly counter to the UNIX philosophy of "do one thing, and do it well" is probably the third most hateful thing about them (after the fact that every other person you pass in the street seems to be yelling into one, and that texting is the most painful form of communication ever invented - you can write a 20-line email in the time it takes to compose a three-line text). If you want an alarm call - set your alarm clock. If you want to take a photograph - use your camera. And in the highly unlikely event that you need urgently to talk to your best friend while browsing the deli counter at Tesco, use your mobile. Just not near me.

That certainly sounds similar to my philosophy - I've got a nice camera, a six-year old phone that does calls and texts perfectly well and only needs charged roughly weekly, and the only reason I'm not still using my 25-year-old digital alarm clock is that my twelve-year-old stereo also plays CDs if I so desire. I'm not looking forward to analogue radio switch-off, although I suspect that long wave radio should persist for quite a while, if only for the shipping forecast

[Phil Reynolds]

texting is the most painful form of communication ever invented - you can write a 20-line email in the time it takes to compose a three-line text

You're clearly not using predictive text then

Oh, but I am - unfortunately. Pretty much every message I send seems to have one or more of the "trap" words in it (like "home", which invariably gets rendered as "good") which always catch me out and the correcting of which usually eliminates any time advantage gained by predictive texting the rest of the message. That and the fact that pressing the right keys is so damn hard - I'm amazed that you, Kirk, with your frequently bemoaned "fat fingers", can cope with this. I find it's impossible to accurately target a single key with the tip of a finger or thumb, so I usually resort to using the edge of a fingernail - which is almost as bad, as the keytops are smooth and shiny and my nail keeps slipping off into the grooves between the keys. Give me a good old-fashioned qwerty keyboard every single time.

There's also of course the small fact that, assuming you already have a paid-for internet connection, emailing (unlike texting) is completely free. It staggers me how much some people (usually young people moaning that they can't save money to put a deposit on a house) seem to spend on mobile phone contracts. I put £10 on my pay-as-you-go mobile at the start of this year and it hasn't run out yet.

[Jon Corby]

I'm with Kirk on this. I can't see how on earth people don't think predictive text is a massive improvement on the old method. Sure occasionally you have to press an extra few buttons to change "good" to "home" or whatever, but don't you look at what you're typing?! I've always put it down to idiocy on the part of the user when I hear such a complaint. I mean, I hardly think it's a problem with predictive text if you can't press the button you're trying to press on your phone, Phil.

[Charlie Reams]

I mean, I hardly think it's a problem with predictive text if you can't press the button you're trying to press on your phone, Phil.

It's a problem with the whole phone interface, even if not with predictive text per se.

[Jon Corby]

I mean, I hardly think it's a problem with predictive text if you can't press the button you're trying to press on your phone, Phil.

It's a problem with the whole phone interface, even if not with predictive text per se.

Well yeah. Personally, I wouldn't buy (and keep) a phone that I couldn't actually use. Mind you, it clearly keeps the bills down if you can't unlock the fucking keypad.

[Phil Reynolds]

I mean, I hardly think it's a problem with predictive text if you can't press the button you're trying to press on your phone, Phil.

I didn't say it was. My original point was that modern phones attempt to fulfil all kinds of functions that are utterly pointless given that most of us possess other gadgets that do those jobs much better (because it's what they were designed for). I've never understood the mentality that thinks it's cool to have a device intended for talking to people that can also take crap pictures and watch movies on an inferior screen. But there are plenty of idiots out there prepared to waste money on them, so you can't blame the manufacturers for making a fast buck.

Re "good" v "home": thinking about it, the major predictive text "trap" is when I think I've typed "cock" and it's rendered as "anal". Got me into a few scrapes, that one, and no mistake.

[Ian Volante]

I've typed "cock" and it's rendered as "anal". Got me into a few scrapes, that one, and no mistake.

Some would say that could be a nice surprise

[Jon Corby]

Re "good" v "home": thinking about it, the major predictive text "trap" is when I think I've typed "cock" and it's rendered as "anal". Got me into a few scrapes, that one, and no mistake.

Haha!

Fair enough re the rest of it. I haven't used an iPhone but I did get an LG Cookie (cheap imitation I believe) and it went back because it was just unusable. It had a nice big screen for looking at stuff, but the touch screen just made everything so awkward. Writing a simple text took ages as it was so difficult to press the right button. There was a qwerty keypad you could use with a stylus, but even that was awkward and slow. So I've now reverted back to an older model (Sony Ericsson k750i) which actually does all the basics pretty bloody well. A camera has its uses too I believe (ahem), but I'm not at the point where I believe it can replace my proper camera for more traditional uses.

[Sue Sanders]

I'm with Kirk on this. I can't see how on earth people don't think predictive text is a massive improvement on the old method. Sure occasionally you have to press an extra few buttons to change "good" to "home" or whatever, but don't you look at what you're typing?! I've always put it down to idiocy on the part of the user when I hear such a complaint. I mean, I hardly think it's a problem with predictive text if you can't press the button you're trying to press on your phone, Phil.

I held out against predictive for quite a few months. It took just one day to realise I'd been a stubborn twat and I would never go back to the morse code method. Even my 74 year old mum manages better with it. For words that aren't in your dictionary, just build them up in blocks of letters...e.g. Apt er o us. Despite the gaps, it's perfectly understandable.


My friend met a girl at speed dating and thought he'd ask her over for a meal. She didn't reply. He'd asked her if she'd fancied coming over to his place for a neck.

[Jon Corby]

I held out against predictive for quite a few months. It took just one day to realise I'd been a stubborn twat and I would never go back to the morse code method. Even my 74 year old mum manages better with it. For words that aren't in your dictionary, just build them up in blocks of letters...e.g. Apt er o us. Despite the gaps, it's perfectly understandable.

Likewise, except I don't leave the gaps. The software on my phone has a button which accepts the word without putting a space there. I accept that some phone software might be shit, but I think the one on my phone is fantastic, particularly once you've worked out how to best use it like this. Sure, it's not as good as a full-size qwerty keyboard, but it's a hell of a lot easier to carry around.

[Michael Wallace]

Likewise, except I don't leave the gaps. The software on my phone has a button which accepts the word without putting a space there. I accept that some phone software might be shit, but I think the one on my phone is fantastic, particularly once you've worked out how to best use it like this. Sure, it's not as good as a full-size qwerty keyboard, but it's a hell of a lot easier to carry around.

What type of phone is it? (Or can you not tell us because you're a supersecretspy?)

[Jon Corby]

Likewise, except I don't leave the gaps. The software on my phone has a button which accepts the word without putting a space there. I accept that some phone software might be shit, but I think the one on my phone is fantastic, particularly once you've worked out how to best use it like this. Sure, it's not as good as a full-size qwerty keyboard, but it's a hell of a lot easier to carry around.

What type of phone is it? (Or can you not tell us because you're a supersecretspy?)

I already did up there ^ ^

It's a Sony Ericsson K750i.

[Michael Wallace]

I already did up there ^ ^

It's a Sony Ericsson K750i.

You expect me to read 2 posts back?!?!?!?!?!?!

(sorry, my bad)

[Kirk Bevins]

For words that aren't in your dictionary, just build them up in blocks of letters...e.g. Apt er o us. Despite the gaps, it's perfectly understandable.

.

You could do the gaps thing but if you want to type apterous in the future it gets pretty bloody annoying having to type it as "apt er o us" and deleting the gaps. Just spelling it once (takes seconds) and then it's speedy when you want to use the word again which you invariably will.

[Jon Corby]

I already did up there ^ ^

It's a Sony Ericsson K750i.

You expect me to read 2 posts back?!?!?!?!?!?!

(sorry, my bad)

Actually, it has some faults too which are annoying and they have fixed in later versions (as my other half stole my upgrade, and hers is better). Such as, when you send an MMS, it does it in the background, but SMS doesn't so if it's a long message you wait 30 seconds, and if you have no signal YOU have to go and actively tell it to resend when you do have a signal, which is pretty retarded. But considering it's quite old, it's still pretty damn good.

[Sue Sanders]

For words that aren't in your dictionary, just build them up in blocks of letters...e.g. Apt er o us. Despite the gaps, it's perfectly understandable.

.

You could do the gaps thing but if you want to type apterous in the future it gets pretty bloody annoying having to type it as "apt er o us" and deleting the gaps. Just spelling it once (takes seconds) and then it's speedy when you want to use the word again which you invariably will.

My phone doesn't seem to retain new words I put in it in my dictionary. Either that or it's censoring my behaviour. It refuses me the use of Karaoke.

Incidently that was the first, and my money's on the last time I'll ever type apterous into my phone!

[Ian Volante]

For words that aren't in your dictionary, just build them up in blocks of letters...e.g. Apt er o us. Despite the gaps, it's perfectly understandable.

.

You could do the gaps thing but if you want to type apterous in the future it gets pretty bloody annoying having to type it as "apt er o us" and deleting the gaps. Just spelling it once (takes seconds) and then it's speedy when you want to use the word again which you invariably will.

My phone doesn't seem to retain new words I put in it in my dictionary. Either that or it's censoring my behaviour. It refuses me the use of Karaoke.

Incidently that was the first, and my money's on the last time I'll ever type apterous into my phone!

Hmm, this sounds like super-duper fancy phone features. Remembering words? I wish!

[Charlie Reams]

I think the way that modern cellphone design runs blatantly counter to the UNIX philosophy of "do one thing, and do it well" is probably the third most hateful thing about them (after the fact that every other person you pass in the street seems to be yelling into one, and that texting is the most painful form of communication ever invented - you can write a 20-line email in the time it takes to compose a three-line text). If you want an alarm call - set your alarm clock. If you want to take a photograph - use your camera. And in the highly unlikely event that you need urgently to talk to your best friend while browsing the deli counter at Tesco, use your mobile. Just not near me.

A little late, here's Mitchell & Webb on the subject.

[Alec Rivers]

... here's Mitchell & Webb on the subject.

lol