What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Moderator: Jon O'Neill
- Phil Reynolds
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3329
- Joined: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:43 pm
- Location: Leamington Spa, UK
What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
The phone rang just after midday today. It was my friend Steve. "Hi, got to be quick 'cos my phone's about to run out of charge. I wonder if you could do us a big favour. Wendy and I are at Barcelona Airport and our flight home has been re-routed, which means the person who was going to pick us up can't. Could you possibly come and pick us up from East Midlands Airport at six o'clock?" Yeah, of course, no problem. I take down the flight number and hang up with that good feeling you get when you know you've helped someone out of a tight corner.
I just remembered: my car's a two-seater.
Please boost my self-esteem by sharing similar tales of incredibly dumb things that you've done.
I just remembered: my car's a two-seater.
Please boost my self-esteem by sharing similar tales of incredibly dumb things that you've done.
- Ian Fitzpatrick
- Devotee
- Posts: 620
- Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:23 pm
- Location: Wimborne, Dorset
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Last week I received an insurance pay out of £1700, so not having any banks in or that near to my village I put it in the post to my bank IN LONDON where there's a postal strike SWMBO not amused!
I thought I was good at Countdown until I joined this forum
- Charlie Reams
- Site Admin
- Posts: 9494
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:33 pm
- Location: Cambridge
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
I'm sure this isn't the worst but it's the most recent... I flew back from Italy last month, so I diligently arrived at the airport before check-in even started, and made my way to the main part of the airport, Terminal 1. Saw that my flight was leaving from Terminal 2 so felt relaxed because it would obviously be the next one along; hung around saying bye to my friends as they caught various flights, stopped for something to eat, etc etc. Half an hour before check-in closed I thought I better go and pick up my tickets, so I asked a frequent flyer friend which way to go, and he pointed me to the far door, and off I set. Thought it a bit strange that there were no signs for Terminal 2 anywhere, but after wandering for a bit (still relaxed) I asked some member of airport staff where it was, and he explained that it was a fucking 20 minute bus journey away. I mean seriously, who does that? Anyway I still would've made it, except that I then had to wait 15 minutes for said bus. So I finally got the check-in about 3 minutes after it closed to find that a) yes, I'd missed check-in, even though the flight didn't leave for another 45 minutes, so I had to watch my own flight leave from the departure lounge b) I had to pay around £60 to get another one c) it was not departing until 8am the next morning, twelve hours hence.
On the plus side, got to know Terminal 2 of Milan Mapensa airport very intimately.
On the plus side, got to know Terminal 2 of Milan Mapensa airport very intimately.
-
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1269
- Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:57 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Phone mutual friends with proper cars?Phil Reynolds wrote:I just remembered: my car's a two-seater.
- Phil Reynolds
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3329
- Joined: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:43 pm
- Location: Leamington Spa, UK
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Already done, but still feeling a dick. (And not in a good way.)David Williams wrote:Phone mutual friends with proper cars?Phil Reynolds wrote:I just remembered: my car's a two-seater.
- Phil Reynolds
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3329
- Joined: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:43 pm
- Location: Leamington Spa, UK
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
There's a sequel.
Arrive at the airport after a speed-limit busting dash up the M1 in a borrowed car. Park and dash across to the arrivals building just in time to meet my friends coming through with a heavily laden baggage trolley. After the requisite hugs and kisses (we're all actors), we head across the road to the car park as I explain the afternoon's hilarious kerfuffle. "The car's over here," I say, leading the way in the general direction of where I left it.
Then I suddenly realise I haven't got a clue what it looks like or what its registration number is.
Arrive at the airport after a speed-limit busting dash up the M1 in a borrowed car. Park and dash across to the arrivals building just in time to meet my friends coming through with a heavily laden baggage trolley. After the requisite hugs and kisses (we're all actors), we head across the road to the car park as I explain the afternoon's hilarious kerfuffle. "The car's over here," I say, leading the way in the general direction of where I left it.
Then I suddenly realise I haven't got a clue what it looks like or what its registration number is.
-
- Devotee
- Posts: 799
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:12 pm
- Location: Kildare, Rep. of Ireland
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Been there, done that.Phil Reynolds wrote:There's a sequel.
Arrive at the airport after a speed-limit busting dash up the M1 in a borrowed car. Park and dash across to the arrivals building just in time to meet my friends coming through with a heavily laden baggage trolley. After the requisite hugs and kisses (we're all actors), we head across the road to the car park as I explain the afternoon's hilarious kerfuffle. "The car's over here," I say, leading the way in the general direction of where I left it.
Then I suddenly realise I haven't got a clue what it looks like or what its registration number is.
- Matthew Green
- Devotee
- Posts: 716
- Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 12:28 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
I went on a date with a girl many years ago and 2 older women came over and spoke to her in this bar. My date seemed annoyed that they were interrupting her so when they walked off I mentioned in jest that they were a 'couple of old slags, mutton dressed as lamb, who need to accept they're too old to be going to bars and shouldn't be wearing such ridiculous clothes'.
'That was my Mum and Auntie'.
'That was my Mum and Auntie'.
If I suddenly have a squirming baby on my lap it probably means that I should start paying it some attention and stop wasting my time messing around on a Countdown forum
-
- Acolyte
- Posts: 248
- Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 9:20 am
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Probably done stupider things but this is one I particularly remember.
In AS Level Biology we were learning about something or other (I've forgotten it all now, I dropped it after year 12) and our teacher mentioned something about kitten milk. Thinking aloud (always a bad policy) I exclaimed, "Can you milk a kitten?". The answer was of course no, and that he in fact meant milk that was intended to be drunk by the kittens.
In AS Level Biology we were learning about something or other (I've forgotten it all now, I dropped it after year 12) and our teacher mentioned something about kitten milk. Thinking aloud (always a bad policy) I exclaimed, "Can you milk a kitten?". The answer was of course no, and that he in fact meant milk that was intended to be drunk by the kittens.
- Phil Reynolds
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3329
- Joined: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:43 pm
- Location: Leamington Spa, UK
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Haha, this should probably be spun off into a separate thread of dumb answers given in school, but I still recall the day in 3rd year Chemistry when we began studying the chemistry of nitrogen.Jeffrey Burgin wrote:In AS Level Biology we were learning about something or other (I've forgotten it all now, I dropped it after year 12) and our teacher mentioned something about kitten milk. Thinking aloud (always a bad policy) I exclaimed, "Can you milk a kitten?". The answer was of course no, and that he in fact meant milk that was intended to be drunk by the kittens.
"Nitrogen compounds are very important in the manufacture of fertilisers," said Mr Rees. "Suppose you wanted to make fertiliser; what do you think you would start off with?"
In the back row, the class dullard, Martin Robinson, stuck his hand up.
"Yes, Martin?" said a surprised and pleased Mr Rees.
"A horse, sir?"
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Surely you could just pass that off as a joke?Jeffrey Burgin wrote:Probably done stupider things but this is one I particularly remember.
In AS Level Biology we were learning about something or other (I've forgotten it all now, I dropped it after year 12) and our teacher mentioned something about kitten milk. Thinking aloud (always a bad policy) I exclaimed, "Can you milk a kitten?". The answer was of course no, and that he in fact meant milk that was intended to be drunk by the kittens.
-
- Devotee
- Posts: 593
- Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:54 pm
- Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Had a fourth child.
- Derek Hazell
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:52 am
- Location: Swindon
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Come fourth and multiply.
Living life in a gyratory circus kind of way.
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Having lived on this earth for 46 years, I've done some incredibly stupid things, but most would come under the category of TMI.
On the subtopic of stupid things we said at school, though, I remember trying to recount a Peter Cook 'E.L. Wistey' interesting fact in a Biology lesson (something to do with the intestines and tennis courts IIRC). Not confident enough to pass it off a joke, either.
The teacher tried to make me feel better by saying that a pupil at another school, when asked to think of a question for the rest of the class to try and answer, had said "How much money have I got in my bag?"
On the subtopic of stupid things we said at school, though, I remember trying to recount a Peter Cook 'E.L. Wistey' interesting fact in a Biology lesson (something to do with the intestines and tennis courts IIRC). Not confident enough to pass it off a joke, either.
The teacher tried to make me feel better by saying that a pupil at another school, when asked to think of a question for the rest of the class to try and answer, had said "How much money have I got in my bag?"
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." Benjamin Disraeli
-
- Acolyte
- Posts: 248
- Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 9:20 am
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
No, the look of dawning realisation on my face said it all.Jon Corby wrote:Surely you could just pass that off as a joke?Jeffrey Burgin wrote:Probably done stupider things but this is one I particularly remember.
In AS Level Biology we were learning about something or other (I've forgotten it all now, I dropped it after year 12) and our teacher mentioned something about kitten milk. Thinking aloud (always a bad policy) I exclaimed, "Can you milk a kitten?". The answer was of course no, and that he in fact meant milk that was intended to be drunk by the kittens.
Me getting my sayings mixed up and saying, "Not by a long chalk of the imag..." on Countdown the other week was pretty stupid as well.
-
- Acolyte
- Posts: 248
- Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 9:20 am
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Derren Brown would have guessed it.Julie T wrote:The teacher tried to make me feel better by saying that a pupil at another school, when asked to think of a question for the rest of the class to try and answer, had said "How much money have I got in my bag?"
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 13331
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:37 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever done?
Does it do any damage if you try and start a car with the handbrake on and it stalls?
- Rosemary Roberts
- Devotee
- Posts: 555
- Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:36 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you
In my (wide!) experience it does more damage to start with the handbrake on and it doesn't stall. My record so far is 50km, but YMMV.Gavin Chipper wrote:Does it do any damage if you try and start a car with the handbrake on and it stalls?
- Joseph Krol
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1063
- Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:47 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you
I wrote a song about quadratic equations and it failed.
- Lesley Hines
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1250
- Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:29 pm
- Location: Worcester
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Said I would.
Lowering the averages since 2009
-
- Acolyte
- Posts: 203
- Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:12 pm
- Location: Eastbourne
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
When I was about 6 I walked home from school, in the pouring rain, with my plimsols still on. And hadn't noticed until my mum asked me where my shoes were...
- Matt Morrison
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 7822
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm
- Location: London
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spec
I like the metatextual nature of the last few posts having suffered from fucked up subject lines. Spectacularly stupid indeed!
- Kai Laddiman
- Fanatic
- Posts: 2314
- Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:37 pm
- Location: My bedroom
Re: What
Metatextual?
16/10/2007 - Episode 4460
Dinos Sfyris 76 - 78 Dorian Lidell
Proof that even idiots can get well and truly mainwheeled.
Dinos Sfyris 76 - 78 Dorian Lidell
Proof that even idiots can get well and truly mainwheeled.
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Not sure if anyone's already said this, so sorry if this has been said before... It wasn't what I have done, but when I was walking into the shop Poundland, someone was holding a box of tissues at the counter and said to the lady who was at the till, "Excuse me, um, how much are these tissues please? It doesn't say." The funniest thing about this is that they actually seemed serious about it and they didn't know that everything was £1 at Poundland, so I don't think it was a joke or a dare or anything!
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
-
- Postmaster General
- Posts: 3661
- Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:18 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Along the same lines of stupidity in shops. Remember those Twist 'n' Squeeze drinks? A woman genuinely asked me "how do you open this?" I replied in the only way possible.
- Thomas Carey
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1482
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:17 pm
- Location: North-West of Bradford
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
This isn't the worst?Charlie Reams wrote:I'm sure this isn't the worst but it's the most recent... I flew back from Italy last month, so I diligently arrived at the airport before check-in even started, and made my way to the main part of the airport, Terminal 1. Saw that my flight was leaving from Terminal 2 so felt relaxed because it would obviously be the next one along; hung around saying bye to my friends as they caught various flights, stopped for something to eat, etc etc. Half an hour before check-in closed I thought I better go and pick up my tickets, so I asked a frequent flyer friend which way to go, and he pointed me to the far door, and off I set. Thought it a bit strange that there were no signs for Terminal 2 anywhere, but after wandering for a bit (still relaxed) I asked some member of airport staff where it was, and he explained that it was a fucking 20 minute bus journey away. I mean seriously, who does that? Anyway I still would've made it, except that I then had to wait 15 minutes for said bus. So I finally got the check-in about 3 minutes after it closed to find that a) yes, I'd missed check-in, even though the flight didn't leave for another 45 minutes, so I had to watch my own flight leave from the departure lounge b) I had to pay around £60 to get another one c) it was not departing until 8am the next morning, twelve hours hence.
On the plus side, got to know Terminal 2 of Milan Mapensa airport very intimately.
cheers maus
- Charlie Reams
- Site Admin
- Posts: 9494
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:33 pm
- Location: Cambridge
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Oh and I once ate a tablespoonful of Nesquik. Really unpleasant.
- Matt Morrison
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 7822
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm
- Location: London
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spec
Has anyone tried the teaspoon of cinnamon?
- Thomas Carey
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1482
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:17 pm
- Location: North-West of Bradford
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spec
Yes.Matt Morrison wrote:Has anyone tried the teaspoon of cinnamon?
cheers maus
- Jon O'Neill
- Ginger Ninja
- Posts: 4552
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:45 am
- Location: London, UK
Re: What's th
No but I did eat dry Bisto once, that was awful and put me off gravy for weeks. Still makes me feel sick now.Thomas Carey wrote:Yes.Matt Morrison wrote:Has anyone tried the teaspoon of cinnamon?
- Adam Gillard
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1763
- Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 8:42 pm
- Location: About 45 minutes south-east of Thibodaux, Louisiana
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
I was skimming stones on the sea and I saw a nice smooth grey stone and went to pick it up. My hand went through it. It was seagull poo
Mike Brown: "Round 12: T N R S A E I G U
C1: SIGNATURE (18) ["9; not written down"]
C2: SEATING (7)
Score: 108–16 (max 113)
Another niner for Adam and yet another century. Well done, that man."
C1: SIGNATURE (18) ["9; not written down"]
C2: SEATING (7)
Score: 108–16 (max 113)
Another niner for Adam and yet another century. Well done, that man."
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
UGHH THATS DISGUSTING! THANKS FOR SHARING THAT WITH US, ADAM(!)Adam Gillard wrote:I was skimming stones on the sea and I saw a nice smooth grey stone and went to pick it up. My hand went through it. It was seagull poo
One Direction are my life. <3
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
"The reason for life is to find out who you are"
"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Love loads of celebs to be honest... Might marry Nicky Maccy
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 6361
- Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Moving to Milton keynes and taking my ,then, girlfriends nephew as my lodger.
Oh and sending death threats to geeks.
Oh and sending death threats to geeks.
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT
-
- Devotee
- Posts: 799
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:12 pm
- Location: Kildare, Rep. of Ireland
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Not to mention of stealing a bike from your place of work in full view of security cameras.Marc Meakin wrote:Moving to Milton keynes and taking my ,then, girlfriends nephew as my lodger.
Oh and sending death threats to geeks.
-
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1786
- Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:21 pm
- Location: Dublin
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
I climbed on the roof of a friends house at a house party and did the karate kid crane kick on the chimney while absolutely hammered drunk. How I didn't kill myself is beyond me. I can barely do it on the ground while sober without falling over.
- Adam Gillard
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1763
- Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 8:42 pm
- Location: About 45 minutes south-east of Thibodaux, Louisiana
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Passing on the message to my sister from my fashion advisor Edward McCullagh that we need to go shopping for shirts.
Clothes shopping = (credit to Ryan for the image)
Clothes shopping = (credit to Ryan for the image)
Mike Brown: "Round 12: T N R S A E I G U
C1: SIGNATURE (18) ["9; not written down"]
C2: SEATING (7)
Score: 108–16 (max 113)
Another niner for Adam and yet another century. Well done, that man."
C1: SIGNATURE (18) ["9; not written down"]
C2: SEATING (7)
Score: 108–16 (max 113)
Another niner for Adam and yet another century. Well done, that man."
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 6361
- Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Let me explain something.Liam Tiernan wrote:Not to mention of stealing a bike from your place of work in full view of security cameras.Marc Meakin wrote:Moving to Milton keynes and taking my ,then, girlfriends nephew as my lodger.
Oh and sending death threats to geeks.
i took a bike with no pedals that had been lying idle for 5 months i took the bike in plain view because in my mind i was not 'stealing' the bike in fact i spent 40 quid getting new tyres and pedals and i gave it away to my girlfriends mentally disabled nephew. however the bike was not abandoned and in the eyes of god (who's he) it was taking without permission and therefore theft.
Anyway YOUR tax payers money will be spent allowing me my day in court (the old bailey, no less) on 31st march, come along and cheer (which way?) i am being accused of burglary and yet i left the £800 pound aluminium frame hybrid bike not chained plus other better and ridable bikes.
Although in a strange irony i have just been a victim of burglary desk top lap top and yes a fucking bike.
MY APPEAL AGAINST MY SACKING IS TODAY SO WISH ME LUCK.
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Maybe 'in their mind' they weren't stealing itMarc Meakin wrote:Although in a strange irony i have just been a victim of burglary desk top lap top and yes a fucking bike.
- Matt Morrison
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 7822
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm
- Location: London
- Contact:
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Good luck in court Meakin.
Also, what the fuck is up with that dickhead commenting on your status on Facebook today? I reported him. How is he your 'friend'?
Also, what the fuck is up with that dickhead commenting on your status on Facebook today? I reported him. How is he your 'friend'?
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 6361
- Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
he was a lodger he didnt pay i threw him out and he doesn't like the fact that i have told everyone what a shyster he is.(possibly a dear kettle yours sincerely pot scenario) but i always pays me debts (although i am declaring myself bankrupt) to individuals.Matt Morrison wrote:Good luck in court Meakin.
Also, what the fuck is up with that dickhead commenting on your status on Facebook today? I reported him. How is he your 'friend'?
If someone chucks you a lemon...........go up to him and have a quiet word about throwing citrus fruit at strangers.
i want my countdown loving friends at the old bailley, for support
Any sanctum members want to give me a character reference lol
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
What happened dude?Marc Meakin wrote:MY APPEAL AGAINST MY SACKING IS TODAY SO WISH ME LUCK.
-
- Post-apocalypse
- Posts: 6361
- Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 3:37 pm
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
I am waiting for the sword of Damocles to fall.
i t took a ten minute deliberation to sack me but i have to wait a week or more for the appeal result.
i t took a ten minute deliberation to sack me but i have to wait a week or more for the appeal result.
GR MSL GNDT MSS NGVWL SRND NNLYC NNCT
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
JUDGEMENT DAY. Do we get live updates from the courtroom?Marc Meakin wrote:Anyway YOUR tax payers money will be spent allowing me my day in court (the old bailey, no less) on 31st march
Also, what was the result of the appeal?
- Ben Hunter
- Kiloposter
- Posts: 1770
- Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:54 pm
- Location: S Yorks
Re: What's the most spectacularly stupid thing you've ever d
Mark James and co take note: by getting a job that you don't particularly like you can at least contribute to some worth while causes.Marc Meakin wrote:Anyway YOUR tax payers money will be spent allowing me my day in court (the old bailey, no less) on 31st march