Favourite Oxymorons
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Favourite Oxymorons
I love oxymorons. Even the word is one of the best-sounding words in the English language.
But what are some of your favourite oxymorons?
Here are some of mine:
Military intelligence
Professional footballer
Dinner lady
Virgin air hostess
But what are some of your favourite oxymorons?
Here are some of mine:
Military intelligence
Professional footballer
Dinner lady
Virgin air hostess
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Microsoft Works
Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Here are a few of my favourites-
"Pretty Ugly"
"A little big"
"A genuine fake"
"A healthy fry-up"
" A good baddie"
"Pretty Ugly"
"A little big"
"A genuine fake"
"A healthy fry-up"
" A good baddie"
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
First post pointing out these aren't really oxymorons in 5... 4...
Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Quote from 'definitions of an oxymoron' by Richard Nordquist. "A figure of speech in which incongruous or contradictory terms appear side by side; "
MMm- maybe your examples aren't correct, Charlie?
MMm- maybe your examples aren't correct, Charlie?
Last edited by AnnieHall on Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Here are some more of his examples-
•the expressions "act naturally," "original copy," "found missing," "alone together," "peace force," "definite possibility," "terribly pleased," "real phony," "ill health," "turn up missing," "jumbo shrimp," "alone together," "loose tights," "small crowd," and "clearly misunderstood
•the expressions "act naturally," "original copy," "found missing," "alone together," "peace force," "definite possibility," "terribly pleased," "real phony," "ill health," "turn up missing," "jumbo shrimp," "alone together," "loose tights," "small crowd," and "clearly misunderstood
Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Another quote from an internet page-
Oxymoron Definition
The definition of oxymoron is:- A rhetorical figure of speech in which incongruous or contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs.
Oxymoron Definition
The definition of oxymoron is:- A rhetorical figure of speech in which incongruous or contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
I was actually just kidding, because most of these are still amusing even though they aren't oxymorons, but since you asked:-
"Pretty Ugly" is not an oxymoron because "pretty" in this sense means "somewhat" and has only a superficial relation to the other sense of "pretty" ("beautifully ugly" would be an oxymoron).
"A little big" likewise.
"A genuine fake" is a little odd but makes perfect sense. Imagine if da Vinci had painted fakes to make some cash in his younger years; a genuine da Vinci fake would be worth a lot of money.
"A healthy fry-up". There's nothing inherently contradictory about those two; healthy is relative anyway, and if you were frying something healthy then it could be a healthy fry-up. It's a similar joke to Microsoft Works, I suppose.
"A good baddie" is, I think, a legitimate oxymoron.
"Pretty Ugly" is not an oxymoron because "pretty" in this sense means "somewhat" and has only a superficial relation to the other sense of "pretty" ("beautifully ugly" would be an oxymoron).
"A little big" likewise.
"A genuine fake" is a little odd but makes perfect sense. Imagine if da Vinci had painted fakes to make some cash in his younger years; a genuine da Vinci fake would be worth a lot of money.
"A healthy fry-up". There's nothing inherently contradictory about those two; healthy is relative anyway, and if you were frying something healthy then it could be a healthy fry-up. It's a similar joke to Microsoft Works, I suppose.
"A good baddie" is, I think, a legitimate oxymoron.
Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Thanks, Charlie, what are your examples called then, if they are not oxymorons?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
I dunno. Jokes?AnnieHall wrote:Thanks, Charlie, what are your examples called then, if they are not oxymorons?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Funny man Bobby DavroDerek Hazell wrote:I love oxymorons. Even the word is one of the best-sounding words in the English language.
But what are some of your favourite oxymorons?
Here are some of mine:
Military intelligence
Professional footballer
Dinner lady
Virgin air hostess
'This one goes up to eleven'
Fool's top.
Fool's top.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
I am very disappointed. For a forum full of word lovers, together with doyens of repartee, I thought we would get loads of really wonderful examples, both serious and funny.
Thank you those who did bother, with a particular mention to Annie for all her submissions.
I suppose I will just post a few old ones I just found in the middle of an old spoiler thread:
From Dinos: Bittersweet, Living Dead
From Benji Hanks: Loving Hate (as in Shakespeare)
and from Howard: Awfully Pretty/Pretty Awful
Thank you those who did bother, with a particular mention to Annie for all her submissions.
I suppose I will just post a few old ones I just found in the middle of an old spoiler thread:
From Dinos: Bittersweet, Living Dead
From Benji Hanks: Loving Hate (as in Shakespeare)
and from Howard: Awfully Pretty/Pretty Awful
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
You've hardly given people much chance Dez - the topic's only been here a couple of days.Derek Hazell wrote:I am very disappointed. For a forum full of word lovers, together with doyens of repartee, I thought we would get loads of really wonderful examples, both serious and funny.
There's a line in the stage version of The Full Monty where Jeanette, the ageing piano player, mentions that she's called her agent to see about getting back into the business, only to be told that he died ten years ago. "I said, a dead agent? That's definitely an oxymoron." I always thought that was rather clever (it certainly went right over the heads of everyone in the audience the last couple of weeks).
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
That line never gets a laugh (on the evidence of my 40 or so times doing the show). One of my other favourites that goes over audiences' heads is from the Steven Fry rewrite of Me and My Girl: "Do you know my daughter, May?". "No, but thanks for the tip."Phil Reynolds wrote:There's a line in the stage version of The Full Monty where Jeanette, the ageing piano player, mentions that she's called her agent to see about getting back into the business, only to be told that he died ten years ago. "I said, a dead agent? That's definitely an oxymoron." I always thought that was rather clever (it certainly went right over the heads of everyone in the audience the last couple of weeks).
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Not really surprising, as it requires the audience not only to know what an oxymoron is, but to recognise a fairly obscure pun on the word "agent".Brian Moore wrote:That line never gets a laugh (on the evidence of my 40 or so times doing the show).Phil Reynolds wrote:"I said, a dead agent? That's definitely an oxymoron."
Now, there our experiences differ. I've seen the show four or five times and that line almost invariably gets a huge laugh, the only exception being a rather third-rate amateur production where the audience were still laughing at the preceding line and the woman playing the dowager had neither the experience nor the common sense to "ride the laugh", so people only heard the punch line in the gag above and not the feed.One of my other favourites that goes over audiences' heads is from the Steven Fry rewrite of Me and My Girl: "Do you know my daughter, May?". "No, but thanks for the tip."
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Forgive me for asking, but how is "professional footballer" an oxymoron, and why do you favour it over "professional foul", which is?Derek Hazell wrote:I love oxymorons. Even the word is one of the best-sounding words in the English language.
But what are some of your favourite oxymorons?
Here are some of mine:
Military intelligence
Professional footballer
Dinner lady
Virgin air hostess
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
I'm guessing that, like "military intelligence", it's not an oxymoron in the true linguistic sense of the word, but a joke based on a perception of footballers/soldiers as being unprofessional/stupid. But I'm completely stumped as to why "dinner lady" is in the list. Dez?David Williams wrote:Forgive me for asking, but how is "professional footballer" an oxymoron, and why do you favour it over "professional foul", which is?Derek Hazell wrote:But what are some of your favourite oxymorons?
Here are some of mine:
Military intelligence
Professional footballer
Dinner lady
Virgin air hostess
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Same joke, innit? These working class types can't be ladies, etc.Phil Reynolds wrote:But I'm completely stumped as to why "dinner lady" is in the list. Dez?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Oh, right. I genuinely didn't get it, probably because an oxymoron is supposed to comprise two opposing words and I couldn't see how "dinner" was the opposite of "lady".Charlie Reams wrote:Same joke, innit? These working class types can't be ladies, etc.Phil Reynolds wrote:But I'm completely stumped as to why "dinner lady" is in the list. Dez?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
There's a company here called "valuecabs" which I like to call an oxymoron on wheels.
It's not.
But that's what I like to do, so nyah.
It's not.
But that's what I like to do, so nyah.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
They blacklisted meM. George Quinn wrote:There's a company here called "valuecabs" which I like to call an oxymoron on wheels.
It's not.
But that's what I like to do, so nyah.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Cilla Black's catchphrase "Enjoy Blind Date".
Although of course with her accent it could have been "Endure"
Although of course with her accent it could have been "Endure"
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
I used to work with a database package called "Progress". Trust me - it was the greatest one-word Oxymoron in the English Language.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
bad sex
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
It does seem that pears of all discription are only ever ripe for about 20 minutes
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
That said, there's a pair of twins in my town who've pretty much been ripe for the picking since about three years ago.Marc Meakin wrote:It does seem that pears of all discription are only ever ripe for about 20 minutes
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Matt Morrison wrote:there's a pair of twins in my town .Marc Meakin wrote:It does seem that pears of all discription are only ever ripe for about 20 minutes
Do a pair of twins equal 4?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Oh, that one definitely is not always an oxymoron, as the straight friend who was the unfortunate recipient of my ORALITES one drunken night about 15 years ago could undoubtedly testify.Matt Morrison wrote:bad sex
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Not really an oxymoron. but:
2 negatives make a positive but
2 positives can never make a negative.
Aye right!
2 negatives make a positive but
2 positives can never make a negative.
Aye right!
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
A stupid teenager with bad acne.
Hmm, maybe we should have an "Amusing definitions for existing words" thread, as well as the "New words" one.
Hmm, maybe we should have an "Amusing definitions for existing words" thread, as well as the "New words" one.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Yep, fruit bowl, eat me, eat me, eat me, collapse, mushy blaaagh, Eddie Izzard.Marc Meakin wrote:It does seem that pears of all discription are only ever ripe for about 20 minutes
'This one goes up to eleven'
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
It was my 40th birthday, he was 20, rather cute and and up for it. I believe it was good for him........Matt Morrison wrote:bad sex
'This one goes up to eleven'
Fool's top.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
With all this talk of Avocados, pears and Bananas, maybe someone should start a fruit corner (as a companion piece to Matts Computer corner)
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Nope - it wasn't a banana based problem - more a technique thing!Derek Hazell wrote:Bananas are like that too.
'This one goes up to eleven'
Fool's top.
Fool's top.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Phil could moderate it.Marc Meakin wrote:With all this talk of Avocados, pears and Bananas, maybe someone should start a fruit corner (as a companion piece to Matts Computer corner)
'This one goes up to eleven'
Fool's top.
Fool's top.
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
What happened to Corby's post? (And it wasn't a page-long PM, you lying get.)
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
I thought I was the only one to notice thatPhil Reynolds wrote:What happened to Corby's post?
Did you get a chance to read it ?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Uh-oh, I thought I got away with that.Phil Reynolds wrote:What happened to Corby's post? (And it wasn't a page-long PM, you lying get.)
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Probably the closest I'll ever get to being immortalised. Thank you.Phil Reynolds wrote:Oh, that one definitely is not always an oxymoron, as the straight friend who was the unfortunate recipient of my ORALITES one drunken night about 15 years ago could undoubtedly testify.Matt Morrison wrote:bad sex
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
Phil Reynolds wrote:Oh, that one definitely is not always an oxymoron, as the straight friend who was the unfortunate recipient of my ORALITES one drunken night about 15 years ago could undoubtedly testify.Matt Morrison wrote:bad sex
Chortle chortle. Here's where I show off and claim I've never had bad sex. And no, I'm not a virgin.Sue Sanders wrote:It was my 40th birthday, he was 20, rather cute and and up for it. I believe it was good for him........
Of course, Bad Sex does exist, and it's absolutely brilliant. "Now, disagree with my balls! Argue, really argue! Object!"
There are about four or five Bad Sex sketches, but being that they come from hour-long Blue Jam slots, they're not easy to find on the Net. Another of them is on YouTube.
So what was Corby's post? With all the talk of tabs in the computer corner thread, it's worth noting that you should still be able to read it if you have the tab available by pressing back loads....Marc Meakin wrote:I thought I was the only one to notice that. Did you get a chance to read it ?Phil Reynolds wrote:What happened to Corby's post?
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Re: Favourite Oxymorons
You might not have done. There's a poll for the partners if ever I saw one (Unless you were one your own...?) Personally I've always been fantasticMatt Morrison wrote:Chortle chortle. Here's where I show off and claim I've never had bad sex. And no, I'm not a virgin.
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