OK, you're threatening to leave already. Well, with a handy insight I can give you, having been in the audience next to my good mate, Eddie Mac, it's time for you to see what I saw all those many moons ago, and with me now on a triple bill this week, it's thrice the delight.
So, time to enjoy.
Countdown recap for Wednesday 4 September 2013.
C1: Champion Jen Steadman (3 wins, 334 points.) An Apteforumite from Paddock Wood, Kent. She is an English graduate from the University of Exeter.
C2: Challenger Ian Toulson. A retired maths teacher from Walsham-le-Willows, Suffolk. He is currently the editor of the Walsham Observer and a keen cyclist and has even ridden a unicycle from London to Brighton in 14 hours
(He actually also gave some books about cycling to Nick, Rachel, Susie & Connie, as you can see he was about to do so before mentioning the cycling trip, but that unfortunately got sent to the cutting room floor. 
)DC: Susie Dent and Connie Fisher.
RR: Rachel Riley.
OT: Other words or solutions.
R01: S L R E O U P E B
R02: T D F A I R A D E
R03: 50, 5, 1, 8, 7, 4. Target: 270.
TTT: ECRUCOAT - "Put on your impressive jacket to get this"
R04: R N H Q O A O C E
R05: G T F O A I S E D
R06: 25, 1, 4, 7, 2, 2. Target: 948.
R07: L S N L O U E A R
R08: D T N M I O E U V
R09: 50, 4, 5, 7, 10, 3. Target: 351.
TTT: WORDVINE - "If you do this, you might stop the hands of time"
R10: T Y T H I O E R A
R11: N S G O I O P M E
R12: S N D G N I A E S
R13: R C T I U E O S R
R14: 50, 4, 1, 2, 5, 1. Target: 750.
R15: H A M S U N D A E (conundrum)
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Enjoy the show.
Round 1: S L R E O U P E B
C1: ELOPERS (7)
C2: boulster
DC: REBELS (6) POSEUR (6) ROUBLES (7)
OT: BURPEES (7) LEPROUS (7) PELORUS (7) PUEBLOS (7) REPULSE (7)
Score: 7–0 (max 7)
Ouch, a super unlucky start. In fairness, I actually thought that the "P" sounded like a "T" when Rachel said it, but you do have a TV monitor in front of you, so............
A PELORUS (or DUMB COMPASS) is a device for measuring in degrees the relative bearings of observed objects.
Round 2: T D F A I R A D E
C1: RADIATED (8)
C2: FARTED (6)
DC: TRADED (6) FAIRED (6) AFRAID (6) FADDIER (7) airdate DRIFTED (7)
Score: 15–0 (max 15)
A lovely RADIATED glow from Jen there with her darrenic 8, leaving Ian to bring his own air in quietly.
Interesting also that Susie mentions airdate, which was taken out of this new dictionary, not that the people upstairs took any notice of Mr Deeks' warning............. Round 3: 50, 5, 1, 8, 7, 4. Target: 270.
C1: 270. (50 + 4) x 5 (10)
C2: 270. (50 + 4) x 5 (10)
Score: 25–10 (max 25)
Ian gets off the mark thanks to this simple numbers, as does Jen who has maintained perfection for now.
Teatime teaser: ECRUCOAT -> ACCOUTRE
Round 4: R N H Q O A O C E
C1: ANCHOR (6)
C2: ANCHOR (6)
DC: CORNEA (6) CORONAE (7)
Score: 31–16 (max 32)
So, it seems that I've picked up a pair of ANCHORs here.
But, DC have the crowning glory with the CORONAE. Round 5: G T F O A I S E D
C1: GODETIAS (8)
C2: DIGEST (6)
DC: FIDGETS (7) CITED (5)
Score: 39–16 (max 40)
The much heralded return of the GODETIAS is a more than welcome sight in the studio.
I wonder if it's going to be harder to DIGEST for Ian now that he's falling further behind......... Round 6: 25, 1, 4, 7, 2, 2. Target: 948.
C1: 949. ((((7 + 2) x 4) + 2) x 25) - 1 (7)
C2: 927.
Score: 46–16 (max 47)
Not brilliant seeing a 900+ target with such week numbers, but it's perfection for Jen as 1 away is as good as it gets.
Connie talks about a recent holiday she took with her husband for a friend's wedding in Austria, and a funny story involving her husband being seen in the altogether by the mother of the bride in a public baths
Round 7: L S N L O U E A R
C1: LLANEROS (8)
C2: REASON (6)
Score: 54–16 (max 55)
With those L's at the start, you might be forgiven for thinking that LLANEROS is a Welsh word, but it's of a more Hispanic origin, but hey-ho, I'm sure Jen won't mind, as her lead extends even further.
Round 8: D T N M I O E U V
C1: MOUNTED (7)
C2: VOMITED (7)
DC: MINUET (6) MINUTED (7) UNMOVED (7)
OT: DEMOUNT (7)
Score: 61–23 (max 62)
Oh dear, following on from his FARTED earlier on, Ian decided to have VOMITED onto the set as well..............
Well, whatever it takes to get points, I guess. Round 9: 50, 4, 5, 7, 10, 3. Target: 351.
C1: 351. (50 x 7) + 5 - 4 (10)
C2: 351. (50 x 7) + 5 - 4 (10)
Score: 71–33 (max 72)
Now there's easy and there's REALLY EASY. This certainly falls into the latter of those 2 categories.
Teatime teaser: WORDVINE -> OVERWIND
Round 10: T Y T H I O E R A
C1: HOTTER (6)
C2: THREAT (6)
DC: HEARTY (6) HOTTIE (6) TOTHER (6) THEORY (6)
Me and Eddie: THROATY (7)
Score: 77–39 (max 79)
Well, a selection of six sixes in the studio, while me and Eddie in the audience get the darrenic 7, which we do mention to Jen afterwards, once she asked us how we thought she did.
Well, you'll all find out shortly.
Moving on.............. 
Round 11: N S G O I O P M E
C1: NOISOME (7)
C2: pongies
DC: POISON (6)
OT: MPINGOS (7) NOOGIES (7) PIGEONS (7)
Score: 84–39 (max 86)
Another fantastic 7 from Jen there, forcing Ian to play his risky one, which almost sounds like it could be to do with the smelly 7 offered by Jen.
A NOOGIE is a light blow or jab, usually to a person's head, back, or upper arm and accompanied by a twisting motion, with the extended knuckle of the curled-up second or third finger: done as a gesture of affection or painfully as a prank.
Susie's Origins Of Words talks about the origins of "gaining the upper hand", "handsome" and "hand over fist".
Round 12: S N D G N I A E S
C1: ASSIGNED (8)
C2: sandings
DC: SIGNED (6) SINGS (5) DESIGNS (7)
OT: SENDINGS (8)
Score: 92–39 (max 94)
The game is now Jen's, but there's yet more agony for Ian, as his latest attempt at a word is so agonisingly close to being in, but if he just changed the A to an E, all would've been fine.
Round 13: R C T I U E O S R
C1: COURTIERS (18)
C2: outcriers
DC: OUTCRIES (8)
Score: 110–39 (max 112)
Now that's the way to finish off the letters rounds
It's the first 9 that has been available to Jen, and it guarantees her her 4th century on the spin as well, but in the other corner, you can't but feel sorry for poor old Ian, who is forced to try his risky 9, which is just not there. 
Round 14: 50, 4, 1, 2, 5, 1. Target: 750.
C1: 750. (2 + 1) x 5 x 50 (10)
C2: 750. (2 + 1) x 5 x 50 (10)
Score: 120–49 (max 122)
Well, at least Ian has got some more points on the board, which is nice, as he doesn't deserve to be on the end of a massive drubbing.
But, we could be about to see an interesting record here..........................
Round 15: H A M S U N D A E
C1 buzzes on 1.25 seconds to say UNASHAMED which is correct.
Final Score: 130–49 (max 132)
As Kirk would no doubt shout out in his dart-calling duties: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HUNDRED AND THIRTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now 130 is a score we have seen a few times in recent series, but amazingly, this is the highest ever score by a female contestant in the show's 30 years, 10 months and 2 days that it has been on air
SO, A MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS TO JEN!!!!!
So, in terms of the leaderboard now, Jen has moved up to #6 in the table above Margaret Lawless, who has over 100 points less than Jen, despite playing a game more
But, Jen could be in for a rough ride tomorrow, as she's up against keen Scrabbler, Ray Tate. Join me to see if she can survive this onslaught from "the other side"..................
So, till then, bye bye for now.
Statistics Corner
Jen:
Total score - 130
Raw score - 130
Total % of max - 98
Raw % of max - 98
Total average score per round - 8.7
Raw average score per round - 8.7
Number of maxes - 13
Ian:
Total score - 49
Raw score - 67
Total % of max - 37
Raw % of max - 51
Total average score per round - 3.3
Raw average score per round - 4.5
Number of maxes - 4
Further summaries are at:
http://cdb.apterous.org/series.php?series=69
