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We have cake forks. My family have always had cake forks. They are small forks you use for eating cake, and are also known as dessert forks or pudding forks. It has recently come to my attention that none of my friends seem to own cake forks, and I am starting to wonder what is wrong with the world.

Do you have cake forks? If not, why not? What do you eat cake with? Your hands? A regular sized fork? Something even more barbaric (as if that's possible)? Explain yourselves. All of you.

I am happy to eat cake with a cake fork, a teaspoon (no larger), or hands. Occasionally I will use a knife to cut up pickable-uppable-sized bites.

I have always seen cake forks to be pretty fucking posh. Only my gran has them and they are kept in a special cupboard.

I have never heard of a cake fork, and the idea sounds ridiculous. I use a normal fork, what's the appeal of less cake?

Innis Carson wrote:I use a normal fork, what's the appeal of less cake?

Such a simple answer - lasts longer. Same reason I'll never eat any dessert with a tablespoon if there's a teaspoon available.

It is possible to use a real sized fork and just have half as much.

I think cake forks are a retarded idea, but, like with those mini cans of coke, using one makes you feel like a giant. So I'm all for it.

Jon O'Neill wrote:It is possible to use a real sized fork and just have half as much.

But then you've got a terrible fork:cake ratio. And on top of that if you have a small cake, a giant fork is often entirely impractical: it'll just disintegrate it.

Michael Wallace wrote:

Jon O'Neill wrote:It is possible to use a real sized fork and just have half as much.

But then you've got a terrible fork:cake ratio. And on top of that if you have a small cake, a giant fork is often entirely impractical: it'll just disintegrate it.

You don't swallow the fork, do you? For me the enjoyment of a cake begins when the cake hits my tongue; that is to say, the fork has been removed. Unless you've got taste buds on the roof of your mouth or you have some sort of anti-gravity cake fork which you put in your mouth upside-down, then I can't see how that wouldn't be the case for you as well.

It's not a giant fork, it's a fork.

And if the cake is so small that a fork would disintegrate it, then you can just eat it in one mouthful. What's all this savouring bullshit? Would you eat it one crumb at a time if you had a fork small enough?

Jon O'Neill wrote:What's all this savouring bullshit? Would you eat it one crumb at a time if you had a fork small enough?

How dare you use my own "chocolate drop/chocolate sprinkles" argument against me?

I don't taste the fork, no, but it's still an inconvenience to have a disproportionately large fork to what it is you're eating off it. Like eating a single pea out of a ladle. Or something.

Michael Wallace wrote:I don't taste the fork, no, but it's still an inconvenience to have a disproportionately large fork to what it is you're eating off it. Like eating a single pea out of a ladle. Or something.

Yes, there's a critical point where the cutlery becomes too big for your mouth, however much food there is on it. It's nothing to do with the ratio though.

This is fricking nuts. Next you'll be telling me I have to use a little tiny plate as well.

[quote="Jon O'Neill"This is fricking nuts. Next you'll be telling me I have to use a little tiny plate as well.[/quote]
Ideally, yes. It's depressing if any food is on too big a plate. Although I don't have special cake plates, just your regular small plates. I don't know if they have a particular name, though.

We received some cake forks as a wedding present 38 years ago. I always think what excellent and useful items they are whenever I use them, which must be almost into double figures now.

Michael Wallace wrote:

Jon O'Neill wrote:This is fricking nuts. Next you'll be telling me I have to use a little tiny plate as well.

Ideally, yes. It's depressing if any food is on too big a plate. Although I don't have special cake plates, just your regular small plates. I don't know if they have a particular name, though.

How is that depressing? I think a plate loaded with food is pretty depressing.

I've never really got eating cakes with a fork. They're either solid enough to use your hands, or you use a spoon. I mean, I'll happily use a fork if that's how the cake is presented to me, or if everyone else is using one and I don't want to appear gauche, but I can't imagine I'd ever do it of my own choosing, if I was sat home alone eating cake in the nude.

Jon O'Neill wrote:How is that depressing? I think a plate loaded with food is pretty depressing.

Yeah, but I'm a fatty, whereas you built an outdoor gym.

I should also mention how grateful I am to see this issue raised. Having disagreed with every single thing in Politics in General, my resolve not to participate was weakening by the hour. But now we have something tastier to get our teeth into.

Well done Michael on getting a discussion about cake started (after my failed attempt at raising any interest in The Great British Bake Off).

I should point out that cake forks are not only for cake but also things like tortes and tarts. You could not eat a chocolate torte with your hands.

Personally, I like cake forks for cakes that are likely to be sticky or to disintegrate in your hands but there are some I prefer to eact with my hands such as gingerbread, banana cake and victoria sandwich (although I will be polite and use a fork if I eating the latter in public).

Karen Pearson wrote:Personally, I like cake forks for cakes that are likely to be sticky or to disintegrate in your hands but there are some I prefer to eact with my hands such as gingerbread, banana cake and victoria sandwich (although I will be polite and use a fork if I eating the latter in public).

This brings to mind something that happened when I had some millionaire shortbread in a nice little posh café when I visited Cambridge. I didn't want to seem uncouth so I used the pathetic cake fork to eat it. Big mistake. I went through the soft layers nicely but due to the lack of leverage I was able to achieve with such a small instrument (wahey), I was forced to push quite hard on the shortbread base (wahey?). Big mistake. Once I finally got through half of it went flying on the floor and the (small) plate nearly smashed.

I finished the cake with my hands (including the bit that went on the floor). Dignity is overrated.

If for some reason I had to eat cake, I would eat it with a cake fork.

Where's the "I'm not posh enough to use a cake fork" option, you paedo-fascist?

I'm aware of the existence of such things but I don't think I've ever used one. I'm all about custard with cakes these days so it's a spoon all the way.

Jon wrote:I went through the soft layers nicely but due to the lack of leverage I was able to achieve with such a small instrument (wahey), I was forced to push quite hard on the shortbread base (wahey?).

See, there you should've collared the waitress and asked for a spoon as well. This would have made you look proper posh, allowed you to eat your munchies properly without spreadage, and hopefully removed the condescending air all waitresses in posh cafes have.

You can't eat cake with a spoon cos it's a solid object - it just looks silly sitting in the bowl. You need a fork to be able to stab it properly. For cakes / gateaux with cream / custard you need a spoon and a fork. In the absence if proper dessert cutlery I'd rather use full-sized cutlery than just a spoon.

I like the way some people think they are normal by saying "What? a fucking cake fork? I use a normal fork!" Who uses any fork to eat a cake? Losers!

Have you ever tried to buy cake forks? It's an utter nightmare. Argos doesn't have them, none of our local supermarkets have them either. I can find them on the Internet, but what sort of pleb buys their cutlery without feeling it first? Ridiculous.