c4countdown

...ever put their genitals (I'm thinking mainly men here, but I don't want to exclude ladies from the discussion altogether) in a Dyson Airblade? I'm thinking it might be quite nice, but I don't know of any where I could lock the door first. I don't really want anyone to walk in on me at work doing that. The height we have them mounted on the wall here at work, and I guess just the overall design, just screams at me to put my balls in.

Before I googled to check, I thought you were talking about the Dyson 'Air Multiplier' fans, which I adore because of how they try and sell them as something other than "y'know, this is a pretty cool fan right?". Their adverts talk about how they have 'no buffeting', as if for years we've all been complaining about our regular fans because they 'chop the air up'.

As for your question, no idea, but could you get a wingman to lean on the door for you whilst you try it out? Or is that too much like the start of a gay porno?

Michael Wallace wrote:As for your question, no idea, but could you get a wingman to lean on the door for you whilst you try it out? Or is that too much like the start of a gay porno?

Yeah, it's not really the sort of thing I'd be comfortable asking any of my workmates to do. They might think I was a bit odd.

Jon Corby wrote:

Michael Wallace wrote:As for your question, no idea, but could you get a wingman to lean on the door for you whilst you try it out? Or is that too much like the start of a gay porno?

Yeah, it's not really the sort of thing I'd be comfortable asking any of my workmates to do. They might think I was a bit odd.

Shame. How much do they cost?

Michael Wallace wrote:Shame. How much do they cost?

I don't know, but I'd never seen those Air Multipliers before until I clicked your link, they are cool. I'd quite like to stick my head through one of those.

Speak to the maintenance man/caretaker, it's one of the perks of the job.
Yes I am speaking from experience.
To add to Jon's question...........have you ever caught your bollocks in a rat trap (also my favourite marching band song btw.)

Marc Meakin wrote:Speak to the maintenance man/caretaker, it's one of the perks of the job.
Yes I am speaking from experience.

You've put your balls in a Dyson Airblade?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HupljBY- ... re=related

At 0:07 it looks like he's jacking off which is perhaps funnier than the minor bump to the head.

not in the blade no. but i was changing a lightbulb once above the airblade and I had a Peter Griffin moment.
I've also put my dick in the bacon slicer........but her old man, the butcher wasn't best pleased.
Btw, did you know there is no such word as gullible?

Ryan Taylor wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HupljBY- ... re=related

At 0:07 it looks like he's jacking off which is perhaps funnier than the minor bump to the head.

I'm not gonna look as I have a weak stomach.

Marc Meakin wrote:not in the blade no. but i was changing a lightbulb once above the airblade and I had a Peter Griffin moment.
I've also put my dick in the bacon slicer........but her old man, the butcher wasn't best pleased.
Btw, did you know there is no such word as gullible?

Stay out of my threads in future.

Jon Corby wrote:I'd never seen those Air Multipliers before until I clicked your link, they are cool. I'd quite like to stick my head through one of those.

You will no doubt appreciate the two Top Comments on this clip.

Penn of Penn & Teller dipped his junk in a blowdryer, which is pretty much the same thing, but he went a little too deep and touched the heating element, ending up with Burger King-style flame grill lines across his glans. A cautionary tale to us all.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Jon Corby wrote:I'd never seen those Air Multipliers before until I clicked your link, they are cool. I'd quite like to stick my head through one of those.

You will no doubt appreciate the two Top Comments on this clip.

£200? For a fan? In a country where you'll maybe have three days a year where its hot enough that you'll even need it? That's more than my weeks "wages".

In the picture dump thread someone posted an Airblade filled with paper towels. I enjoyed that.

i thought i made the threats round here,

Try the disabled toilets in a Marks and Spencer. They've got airblades in them and its own private locking door*. Make sure you don't electrocute yourself in any current passing up your jizz tho.

*True of the ones in Worcester**
**No, I have no inclination to try this myself.

Marc Meakin wrote:i thought i made the threats round here,

But not the threads.

They've also got them in the toilets at the Houses of Parliament - not sure if you could lock the doors, but you've got an anecdote for life if you take the risk and don't get caught. Although I suppose it's an even better anecdote if you get caught and subsequently arrested for it.

Charlie Reams wrote:Penn of Penn & Teller dipped his junk in a blowdryer, which is pretty much the same thing, but he went a little too deep and touched the heating element, ending up with Burger King-style flame grill lines across his glans. A cautionary tale to us all.

What a bell end.

Jennifer Steadman wrote:They've also got them in the toilets at the Houses of Parliament

Are the ones in the House of Lords for peers only?

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Jennifer Steadman wrote:They've also got them in the toilets at the Houses of Parliament

Are the ones in the House of Lords for peers only?

Nice

Read this yesterday just before the gym and normally I would think "Jon Corby you've got a sick mind" but instead I thought "Jon Corby you've got a sick mind, but that actually sounds quite fun!" On this particular gym visit the changing rooms were pretty dead and the toilets are something of a secluded labyrinth with one Airblade ideally situated round a corner. Curiosity got the better of me and after a quick check to see no one was about I whipped out my danglers and subjected them to an almighty breeze. The result? Meh. I was a bit underwhelmed. The breeze was hard but not nearly as tickly, choppy or stimulating on my nethers as I'd anticipated, although on the plus side I'd just come out of the showers and now my drying time had been significantly reduced.

Review:

Adventurism: 7/10
Willy whipping factor: 3/10
Worth the effort? With an overall 10/20 I'd say yes but I won't be bothering again in a hurry in case I get discovered and branded a bit of a sexual weirdo
Would I buy one? No. I imagine this would be a tad expensive to recreate at home for the relatively minimal thrill.

Phil Reynolds wrote:

Jennifer Steadman wrote:They've also got them in the toilets at the Houses of Parliament

Are the ones in the House of Lords for peers only?

It get's a bit annoying when people quote you just to effectively say "LOL". But this tickled me quite a lot and has put me in a good mood for the day.

Dinos Sfyris wrote: Willy whipping factor: 3/10

Just wondered which way on you did it? Sideways or as expected? Surely if you fellas want to increase your swingin' in the breeze, as it were, you might be better off with a hairdryer set to full blast on a cold setting. (Safety first, eh?) You could probably get a nice rotation if your rhythm's right

How in God's name am I spending my Saturday afternoon?

Ryan Taylor wrote: It get's a bit annoying when people quote you just to effectively say "LOL". But this tickled me quite a lot and has put me in a good mood for the day.

I don't think it's annoying at all if you're the one that's made the joke and people are LOLing at it. Someone can make a joke, everyone laughs to themselves at it but doesn't comment so the person who made the joke thinks it's not really worked. But yeah it can be annoying if a thread is full of LOLs for someone else's joke. That's why we need likes back!

yeah bring back liker and dislikes and while yer at it let me make new threads and anyone that cant handle me can foe me.

Marc Meakin wrote:yeah bring back liker and dislikes and while yer at it let me make new threads and anyone that cant handle me can foe me.

Any chance you might F O yourself, and save us the bother? If I'd wanted to read posts made with no regard for basic grammar and punctuation, (not to mention spelling), I'd have signed up for Facebook or whatever. It's just an annoying schtick that was never funny to begin with, now all it's doing is pissing off even those who weren't already pissed off with you.

Dinos Sfyris wrote:Read this yesterday just before the gym and normally I would think "Jon Corby you've got a sick mind" but instead I thought "Jon Corby you've got a sick mind, but that actually sounds quite fun!" On this particular gym visit the changing rooms were pretty dead and the toilets are something of a secluded labyrinth with one Airblade ideally situated round a corner. Curiosity got the better of me and after a quick check to see no one was about I whipped out my danglers and subjected them to an almighty breeze. The result? Meh. I was a bit underwhelmed. The breeze was hard but not nearly as tickly, choppy or stimulating on my nethers as I'd anticipated, although on the plus side I'd just come out of the showers and now my drying time had been significantly reduced.

Review:

Adventurism: 7/10
Willy whipping factor: 3/10
Worth the effort? With an overall 10/20 I'd say yes but I won't be bothering again in a hurry in case I get discovered and branded a bit of a sexual weirdo
Would I buy one? No. I imagine this would be a tad expensive to recreate at home for the relatively minimal thrill.

Wow. Thread got real all of a sudden!

Lesley Hines wrote:Try the disabled toilets in a Marks and Spencer. They've got airblades in them and its own private locking door*.

Is it a real Airblade? In the main ladies' toilets in M&S in Worcester, it's a fake one (Mitsubishi or something) which doesn't seem to have the same force as a real Airblade - so I suspect the 'Willy whipping factor' may be even lower. That said, I think Airblades are pretty rubbish at drying hands - my favourites are Xcelerators.

Dinos Sfyris wrote:Willy whipping factor: 3/10

Is there any correlation between the 'Willy whipping factor' and the mass or dimensions of the member involved?

@Lesley: As expected! The hair dryer thing sounds promising as I'd have more degrees of freedom and it'd be easier to gather momentum. Could be my next pursuit of misadventure, although I don't own a hair dryer and it might not go down well using my girlfriend's! If I'm resorting to using a hairdryer at hers to get my kicks I'm probably doing something wrong.

@Karen: Are you suggesting I completely filled the hand-slot thus reducing movement, or (more likely) that I don't hang low enough to activate the dryer!

Dinos Sfyris wrote: although I don't own a hair dryer and it might not go down well using my girlfriend's!

Wait a minute. You have a girlfriend? Without wanting to open old wounds didn't you just break up with your wife? How the hell do you have a girlfriend already? It's just like Darren Clarke. His wife died and yet he had a girlfriend when he won the open recently. I've not even had sex with anyone since his wife died, how do you all form such relationships so quickly?

Dinos Sfyris wrote: @Karen: Are you suggesting I completely filled the hand-slot thus reducing movement, or (more likely) that I don't hang low enough to activate the dryer!

I was just speculating that long and thin probably results in better 'willy whipping'.

Although those are not necessarily the best dimensions in all situations.

Clearly this issue can only be resolved by the application of full scientific rigour to appropriate empirical evidence. Dinos, post some photographs of your genitals in proximity to an appropriate dimensional reference, e.g. a tape measure.

Liam Tiernan wrote:

Marc Meakin wrote:yeah bring back liker and dislikes and while yer at it let me make new threads and anyone that cant handle me can foe me.

Any chance you might F O yourself, and save us the bother? If I'd wanted to read posts made with no regard for basic grammar and punctuation, (not to mention spelling), I'd have signed up for Facebook or whatever. It's just an annoying schtick that was never funny to begin with, now all it's doing is pissing off even those who weren't already pissed off with you.

Didn.t Meen to off end you Tommy, butt your just thwe sort of twat that watches a whole episode of some shit on the tele then rights to points of view to complain about it when you hadnt thought to swich over
Or maybe your the sort of person who likes the sound of his own voice, (dear pot.......yours sincerely kettle..... I know) it takes one to know one, yo mamma etc.
lol pmsl rofl wtf....etc.........

Mark James wrote:

Dinos Sfyris wrote: although I don't own a hair dryer and it might not go down well using my girlfriend's!

Wait a minute. You have a girlfriend? Without wanting to open old wounds didn't you just break up with your wife? How the hell do you have a girlfriend already? It's just like Darren Clarke. His wife died and yet he had a girlfriend when he won the open recently. I've not even had sex with anyone since his wife died, how do you all form such relationships so quickly?

Well we split 6 months ago and believe me I was hung up on it for a long time and extremely miserable. When I posted about it here it had already been 4 months and it was only recently that I'd become comfortable talking about it with anyone except my nearest and dearest. But yeah since you asked we've been together about a month and she makes me very happy

Best way to get over one woman's to get over another one, eh? Funnily enough when someone's bereaved it's quite common to get into another relationship quickly; I read an article that suggested it's because they're used to being in a loving relationship.

Srsly tho, when juggling nads and hand dryer please, please try not get hung up on anything. I can just imagine the enquiry. "Well, I post on this forum..."

Hmm, that's a disappointing tale Dinos (homophone lols) although I'm still not completely put off the idea, after all everyone's tastes (perversions) are different. For comparison purposes, would you please rate "blasting your perineum/the back of your balls from about 5 inches with a power shower"?

Marc Meakin wrote:

Liam Tiernan wrote:

Marc Meakin wrote:yeah bring back liker and dislikes and while yer at it let me make new threads and anyone that cant handle me can foe me.

Any chance you might F O yourself, and save us the bother? If I'd wanted to read posts made with no regard for basic grammar and punctuation, (not to mention spelling), I'd have signed up for Facebook or whatever. It's just an annoying schtick that was never funny to begin with, now all it's doing is pissing off even those who weren't already pissed off with you.

Didn.t Meen to off end you Tommy, butt your just thwe sort of twat that watches a whole episode of some shit on the tele then rights to points of view to complain about it when you hadnt thought to swich over
Or maybe your the sort of person who likes the sound of his own voice, (dear pot.......yours sincerely kettle..... I know) it takes one to know one, yo mamma etc.
lol pmsl rofl wtf....etc.........

Nice rebuttal, Marc, a shining example of the understated wit and subtle sarcasm we've come to expect from you. But then you post this in another thread a minute later:

Marc Meakin wrote:
Is it a game or a puzzle then?

Short, yes. Inane question (even by your standards), yes. But at least it's spelt correctly and properly punctuated for a change (even if not entirely grammatically correct, but hey, you can't expect miracles overnight). It seems that complaining about things that annoy me really does work. I must do it more often.

Dinos Sfyris wrote: Well we split 6 months ago and believe me I was hung up on it for a long time and extremely miserable. When I posted about it here it had already been 4 months and it was only recently that I'd become comfortable talking about it with anyone except my nearest and dearest. But yeah since you asked we've been together about a month and she makes me very happy

Cool Dinos. Fair play. Do you mind if I ask how you met?

Liam,
You might have to elaborate on where I went wrong with my grammar as I only got a grade 'C' O level but otherwisw fair point.
I must admit to getting lazy with my punctuation when using my rather tiny phone to log on to this website
(as is my inability to edit the quote facility) but surely if you understand what I am saying, then I cant see the problem.
Are you this intolerent of regional accents and speech impediments?

Jon Corby wrote:Hmm, that's a disappointing tale Dinos (homophone lols)

Teehee

Jon Corby wrote:For comparison purposes, would you please rate "blasting your perineum/the back of your balls from about 5 inches with a power shower"?

Ah power shower to the testes is a lovely once-in-a-while treat. Nice and tickly 8/10. As for the perineum, well I am a sophisticated gentleman and prefer a more refined touch.

Karen Pearson wrote:I was just speculating that long and thin probably results in better 'willy whipping'.

Although those are not necessarily the best dimensions in all situations.

Haha! Karen likes a fat one!




...Hey I'm Dinos

Thanks to this thread, yesterday I noticed that the Dyson Airblade in the Tate St Ives is at a very particular height, though I suspect had I tried it for size and been seen, even there I would have struggled to pass off the ensemble (the Airblade and me) as an art installation (though I did once see an 'art' video there of two naked wrestlers in black and white, including a dangly-from-underneath shot). I dangled my hands in, as they were wet.

Karen Pearson wrote:That said, I think Airblades are pretty rubbish at drying hands - my favourites are Xcelerators.

I actually think they're pretty good; when we had our first ones here though they came with a little board explaining how to use them (put your hands all the way in and draw them upwards steadily for 10 seconds) which was rubbish as that's quite awkward to do, and didn't result in dry hands. They've changed the instructions on them now to basically just say "move your hands up and down" and none of the 10 seconds thing.

Coincidentally, we also had Xcelerators for a while, which were very effective but by god they were uncomfortably noisy.

Jon Corby wrote:

Karen Pearson wrote:That said, I think Airblades are pretty rubbish at drying hands - my favourites are Xcelerators.

I actually think they're pretty good; when we had our first ones here though they came with a little board explaining how to use them (put your hands all the way in and draw them upwards steadily for 10 seconds) which was rubbish as that's quite awkward to do, and didn't result in dry hands. They've changed the instructions on them now to basically just say "move your hands up and down" and none of the 10 seconds thing.

Coincidentally, we also had Xcelerators for a while, which were very effective but by god they were uncomfortably noisy.

Pretty much agree with you. Xcelerators are so loud, but they are just miles and miles better than your bog standard pub hand-drier. Unless there's an Xcelerator, Airblade or some other equivalent I just wipe my hands on my trousers and be done with it.

Jon O'Neill wrote:Unless there's an Xcelerator, Airblade or some other equivalent I just wipe my hands on my trousers and be done with it.

I hope you wash them first.

I have since discovered that it's spelt 'Xlerator'. Nice that everyone copied my spelling though.

Back to the Airblade though. It is supposed, according to an interview I saw with James Dyson, to work the way Jon describes - (put your hands all the way in and draw them upwards steadily for 10 seconds). Rather than heating the water on your hands to make it evaporate, it's supposed to act a bit like an air squeegee and scrape the water off your hands. If you are moving them up and down, surely that makes this process more difficult (although that's exactly what I do when I have to use one). And I never seem to get my finger tips dry with them!

Jono - EEUURRGHHH! There are probably more germs on your jeans than on your willy (assuming that you shower properly on a daily basis and don't wee on your hands)!

Karen Pearson wrote:Jono - EEUURRGHHH! There are probably more germs on your jeans than on your willy (assuming that you shower properly on a daily basis and don't wee on your hands)!

You're probably right. Also I don't wash my jeans for months at a time.

Ok, from now on I'm not washing my hands. Thanks Karen.

Actually a lot of the time I just shake them like a polaroid picture.

Jon O'Neill wrote:

Karen Pearson wrote:Jono - EEUURRGHHH! There are probably more germs on your jeans than on your willy (assuming that you shower properly on a daily basis and don't wee on your hands)!

You're probably right. Also I don't wash my jeans for months at a time.

Ok, from now on I'm not washing my hands. Thanks Karen.

Actually a lot of the time I just shake them like a polaroid picture.

But then you're also not supposed to shake polaroid pictures as it can fuck up the photos and was nothing more than an advertising fad.
So based on that, you should just leave your hands dripping wet and leave the toilet area immediately.

Why are you taking polaroid pictures in a public toilet anyway, you pervert?

Matt Morrison wrote:

Jon O'Neill wrote:

Karen Pearson wrote:Jono - EEUURRGHHH! There are probably more germs on your jeans than on your willy (assuming that you shower properly on a daily basis and don't wee on your hands)!

You're probably right. Also I don't wash my jeans for months at a time.

Ok, from now on I'm not washing my hands. Thanks Karen.

Actually a lot of the time I just shake them like a polaroid picture.

But then you're also not supposed to shake polaroid pictures as it can fuck up the photos and was nothing more than an advertising fad.
So based on that, you should just leave your hands dripping wet and leave the toilet area immediately.

Blame that on Andre 3000!

Marcus Brigstocke has:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0 ... Episode_2/
about 24 minutes in .... he mentions exactly this.

Or should this be in the coincidences thread?

Brian Moore wrote:Marcus Brigstocke has:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0 ... Episode_2/
about 24 minutes in .... he mentions exactly this.

Or should this be in the coincidences thread?

Coincidence? That was broadcast about a week ago - it's blatant plagiarism

Jon Corby wrote:Coincidence? That was broadcast about a week ago - it's blatant plagiarism

I guess they edited out the bit about him reading c4c in case people thought he was some kind of weirdo.