Charity Exhibition Match

[Kirk Bevins]

I played a charity exhibition match at school today. Volunteers paid £1 to audition for the chance to play me in the school hall. Spectators were charged 50p with all proceeds going to charity.

It was quite well set up except there was no clock music and the letters distribution was very poor as you will see (I mean 3 Qs for goodness sake!?). The format was as follows:

LNC LNC LLNC.

It turned out they took the 5 best auditionees (turned out to be all year 12s) and a teacher to play against me, so it was 6 heads against one. How did they fare....read below.



Countdown recap for Tuesday 14 July 2009.

C1: Champion Kirk Bevins.
C2: Challengers: 6 hopefuls.
DC: Susie Dent.
RR: Rachel Riley.
OT: Other words or solutions.

R01: J K S I U E J M Q
R02: 100, 1, 5, 5, 9, 10. Target: 876.
R03: O X O N S H A P E (conundrum)
R04: B Y V E O A F I O
R05: 100, 4, 5, 6, 6, 8. Target: 536.
R06: A M U S I N G M Y (conundrum)
R07: K M Q U A B A F U
R08: D L Q S I O I A X
R09: 50, 6, 8, 1, 1, 2, . Target: 421.
R10: N I C E G R O A N (conundrum)


And now a brief interlude before our main feature:

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Enjoy the show.

Round 1: J K S I U E J M Q

C1: MIKES (5)
C2: MIKES (5)
OT: JUKES (5) KUMIS (5) QUIMS (5)
Score: 5–5 (max 5)

What a shame I didn't spot QUIMS here - that would have been quite a nice start.

Round 2: 100, 1, 5, 5, 9, 10. Target: 876.

C1: 876. 100x9-(5x5-1) (10)
C2: 876. 100x9-(5x5-1) (10)
Score: 15–15 (max 15)

Round 3: O X O N S H A P E

C1 buzzes on 1 second to say SAXOPHONE which is correct.
Score: 25-15 (max 25)

Round 4: B Y V E O A F I O

C1: FOVEA (5)
C2: FIVE (4)
OT: ABOVE (5) BOOAI (5) BOOAY (5)
Score: 30–15 (max 30)

Round 5: 100, 4, 5, 6, 6, 8. Target: 536.

C1: 536. 100x5+6x6 (10)
C2: 536. 100x5+6x6 (10)
Score: 40–25 (max 40)

Round 6: A M U S I N G M Y

C1 buzzes on 1 second to say GYMNASIUM which is correct.
Score: 50-25 (max 50)

Round 7: K M Q U A B A F U

C1: AQUA (4)
C2: AQUA (4)
OT: BUMF (4)
Score: 54–29 (max 54)

Round 8: D L Q S I O I A X

C1: OXALIS (6)
C2: SOLID (5)
OT: SOLIDI (6)
Score: 60–29 (max 60)

Round 9: 50, 6, 8, 1, 1, 2. Target: 421.

C1: 421. (50+2)x8+6-1 (10)
C2: 421. 50x8+(6+1)x(2+1) (10)
Score: 70–39 (max 70)

Round 10: N I C E G R O A N

C1 buzzes on 1 second to say IGNORANCE which is correct.
Score: 80–39 (max 80)

So a nice max game over 10 rounds. It was a real shame the letters were so horrid as the longest I could make was a 6. The audience seemed impressed with FOVEA and OXALIS so all was not lost.

[Charlie Reams]

Haha. Excellent mate, well done.

[Michael Wallace]

Haha, superb. Did the challengers stand to win anything? Or was the £1 auditioning fee purely for the honour of competing against you?

[Kirk Bevins]

Haha, superb. Did the challengers stand to win anything? Or was the £1 auditioning fee purely for the honour of competing against you?

It was just for the honour of competing against me apparently. Not quite sure how much of an honour that is though....

The 6th formers had to raise some money for charity and they decided that this was a good way of doing that. It was great fun - I just wish it lasted longer.

[Matthew Green]

The 6th formers had to raise some money for charity and they decided that this was a good way of doing that. It was great fun - I just wish it lasted longer.

If you were talking about an orgy, this would have been even better.

[Jon Corby]

I bet you threw a right hissy fit about having the correct dictionary, didn't you?

"Here, we've got this old Collins concise from the English dept, that'll do"
"Fuck right off! It's ODE2r or it doesn't happen!"

[Michael Wallace]

I bet you threw a right hissy fit about having the correct dictionary, didn't you?

"Here, we've got this old Collins concise from the English dept, that'll do"
"Fuck right off! It's ODE2r or it doesn't happen!"

I like to think Kirk carries an ODE2r around in his trousers just in case there's a spontaneous Countdown battle.

Edit: (and not just to try and attract the ladiez)

[Craig Beevers]

Edit: (and not just to try and attract the ladiez)

That reminds me, I must play LAYDEEZ in Scrabble one of these days, even if it's for like <20 points using a blank.

[Kirk Bevins]

I bet you threw a right hissy fit about having the correct dictionary, didn't you?

"Here, we've got this old Collins concise from the English dept, that'll do"
"Fuck right off! It's ODE2r or it doesn't happen!"

Haha - when they told me it was taking place I told them I'd bring my ODE2r in and that's exactly what I did!
Why is it whenever amateurs do Countdown things like this they always put far too many Ks, Js and Qs in? Do they not realise the distribution is weighted?

[Ian Dent]

Do they not realise the distribution is weighted?

No.

[Kirk Bevins]

Do they not realise the distribution is weighted?

No.

Haha Ian. It was a rhetorical question - I thought that was obvious.

[Matt Bayfield]

I'm not suggesting that it was a cynical move on the part of the challengers, but using that ridiculous letter distribution was probably their only chance to keep down the margin of defeat (although surely they were shooting themselves in the foot by including three conundrums).

Any Scrabble players amongst the challengers would have probably known most short J-, Q-, X-, Z-, words, but realistically they would never have been able to compete at finding obscure 7s, 8s or 9s with a regular letter distribution.

Speaking of Scrabble words, it's a shame (in terms of opportunities for Kirk to impress the audience) that MUZJIKS didn't quite come up in round one... although sadly (without checking) I have a nagging feeling that MUZHIKS might be the only allowable spelling in ODE2r.

[Ben Wilson]

I was involved in a similar game at my uni once where their idea of a letters distribution was 'four of each consonant and six of each vowel'. Also, instead of an ODE, they had an English-French dictionary. Hilarity ensued...