If you cut a toilet in half, do you get two lavatories?

[Michael Wallace]

I was wondering this the other day, and also thought "hey, this will be a poll which no-one can complain about being rubbish". Naturally now I've come to do it its proved harder than expected (woof). We're talking in your own home here (that's why I haven't bothered with 'gents' or 'ladies', although now I've done that everyone will say that's what they call it at home). Obviously there is a distinction between the room the toilet is in, and the toilet itself, hopefully the phrasing of the poll deals with this. Multiple options are available if you're a maverick and mix things up.

[Ian Volante]

Where's "bog", man?!

Also, crapper, shitter.

EDIT: Also, I don't have a bath, and unless I was planning to piss in said vessel, I wouldn't mention it on an ablutory visit.

[Derek Hazell]

As I implied in my Facebook Interview, I hate the word "bathroom" being used to mean "toilet", especially when the bath isn't even in the same room!

"do you look behind the shower curtain before you go to the bathroom?
How would I reach it if it was before I went to the bathroom?"

[Michael Wallace]

Where's "bog", man?!

Also, crapper, shitter.

Duly added, thanks. (The poll is set up so people can change votes, so if you chose 'other' then you can switch to the new additions if you want.)

[Ian Volante]

Where's "bog", man?!

Also, crapper, shitter.

Duly added, thanks. (The poll is set up so people can change votes, so if you chose 'other' then you can switch to the new additions if you want.)

Much better!

[Jimmy Gough]

Toilet

[George Jenkins]

Toilet

If you cut a lavatory pan (The correct name) in half, you get a big leak and two pieces of scrap china.

[Brian Moore]

If you cut a lavatory pan (The correct name) in half, you get a big leak and two pieces of crap china.

You'll be happy to know that Thomas Crapper is still in toilets.

[Ben Hunter]

I just say "I'm off for a piss", which leaves it up to my present company to guess what I'm about to piss into.

[Ben Wilson]

I just say "I'm off for a piss", which leaves it up to my present company to guess what I'm about to piss into.

Three words and a number spring immediately to mind here: COLIN 2007, Jon O'Neill.

[kevin manthorpe]

I ticked other, so'd better elucidate. No prizes for guessing, but I sometimes go to the "dunny".

Which leads to that great Aussie curse: "I hope your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down!"

A rather enthusiastic session of rumpy-pumpy could also be described as: "Bangin' like the dunny door".


For those into extreme sports, I give you the "Dunny Derby":



And for those into poetry:

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life,
If you couldn’t sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.
They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down,
There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.

They were given many names, some were even funny,
But to most of us, we knew them as the outhouse or the dunny.
I’ve seen some of them all gussied up, with painted doors and all,
But it really made no difference, they were just a port of call.

Now my old man would take a bet, he’d lay an even pound,
That you wouldn’t make the dunny with them turkeys hangin’ round.
They had so many uses, these buildings out the back,
You could even hide from mother, so you wouldn’t get the strap.

That’s why we had good cricketers, or my name isn’t Crump,
We used the pathway for the wicket and the dunny door for stumps.
Now my old man would sit for hours, the smell would rot your socks,
He read the daily back to front in that good old thunderbox.

And if by chance that nature called sometime through the night,
You always sent the dog in first, for there was no flamin’ light.
And the dunny seemed to be the place where crawlies liked to hide,
But never ever showed themselves until you sat inside.

There was no such thing as Sorbent, no tissues there at all,
Just squares of well read newspaper, a hangin’ on the wall.
If you had some friendly neighbours, as neighbours sometimes are,
You could sit and chat to them, if you left the door ajar.

When suddenly you got the urge, and down the track you fled,
Then of course the magpies were there to pick you on your head.
Then the time there was a wet, the rain it never stopped,
If you had an urgent call, you ran between the drops.

The dunny man came twice a week, to these buildings out the back,
And he would leave an extra can, if you left for him a zac.
For those of you who’ve no idea what I mean by a zac,
Then your too young to have ever had, a dunny out the back.

For it seems today they call them the bathroom, or the loo,
If you’ve never had one out the back, then I feel sorry for you.
For it used to be a way of life, top race along the track,
To answer natures call, at these buildings out the back.

By Judy Jenkinson

[Jon O'Neill]

I just say "I'm off for a piss", which leaves it up to my present company to guess what I'm about to piss into.

Three words and a number spring immediately to mind here: COLIN 2007, Jon O'Neill.

Why don't I get this?

[George Jenkins]

If you cut a lavatory pan (The correct name) in half, you get a big leak and two pieces of crap china.

You'll be happy to know that Thomas Crapper is still in toilets.

I don't know why it's called a water closet. I think that name is used to protect the delicate ears of Genteel Ladies and Gentlemen. I thought that a closet was a small cupboard. In the plumbing trade, it's a lavatory pan. A lady at her toilet is sitting in front of a mirror, Plastering lipstick and face powder on. A final spray of erotic scent, and my resistance is completely destroyed. There is no such article as a "Toilet",it's all a play of delicate words really.