c4countdown

Here’s a list of twenty bands/artists. Some of them are real, but some of them are not. Some of them are reasonably well-known, so you may not need to guess, but then my idea of being “well-known” is pretty loose, it might just mean that they’ve had the odd late-night play on national radio or a couple of reviews in the NME. I’m not saying how many fall into each category, but I will say that it’s not an even split.

All you need to do is say which are real and which are made up. Simple, eh?

1. The Airborne Toxic Event
2. Base Pusher
3. David Cronenberg’s Wife
4. The Don’t Fucking Cares
5. Fury Of The Headteachers
6. Gandhi’s Summer Commandos
7. Inscrutable Skeleton
8. Kings Have Long Arms
9. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart
10. Prinzhorn Dance School
11. Queer Girls
12. Rotating Leslie
13. Sad Day For Puppets
14. Slab Panther
15. Soft Toy Emergency
16. South Enema Trust
17. Svartbag
18. Teen Challenge Choir
19. This Town Needs Guns
20. Trampoline Workshop

PM answers before next weekend. Top score wins a mystery (I haven’t decided what it is yet) prize. In the event of a first-place tie, the tied players must arrange a duel to the death with swords until only one of them is left alive, with the survivor receiving the mystery prize.

How could you have you forgotten The Dead Kennedys?

Liam Tiernan wrote:How could you have you forgotten The Dead Kennedys?

Yeah, and Abba, and The Beatles and The Ramones!

Seriously though, this is pretty tough, and quite literally a guessing game!
I've only heard of 3 bands there I think, plus one I think I've heard of but might be making it up entirely. I haven't read NME for many, many years so that's probably not helping.

Some of John Peel's favourite bands would have made good additions to this are they/aren't they list - Half-Man Half-Biscuit and Gorky's Zygotic Mynci to give two examples.

Liam Tiernan wrote:How could you have you forgotten The Dead Kennedys?

One of my favourite ever bands. But I've only included reasonably current bands in this, and I'd probably have not had the Dead Kennedys in a retro edition anyway cos it would be too easy, they're far too well-known. I would have had Grab Grab The Haddock, though.

I saw one of those bands 2 weeks ago! I'll reveal all once a winner has been announced. Also, I'm assuming that Dogs Die In Hot Cars are way too famous for this competition...?

Phil Makepeace wrote:Also, I'm assuming that Dogs Die In Hot Cars are way too famous for this competition...?

Your assumption is correct.

Sad to see that Toad the Wet Sprocket didn't make it into the list.

JimBentley wrote:

Phil Makepeace wrote:Also, I'm assuming that Dogs Die In Hot Cars are way too famous for this competition...?

Your assumption is correct.

And of course honourable mentions to Superman Revenge Squad, We Were Promised Jetpacks, Superheroes of BMX (later Bloc Party), The Popes of Chillitown and the peerless General Bovine & The Justice Force 5 (Whose latest comic comes with a free EP. NOT the other way round.).

EDIT: missed the "PM the answers" bit. Removed my answers...

And just because I can, I'll throw in a few more interestingly-named acts from my music collection that would have worked in this list (of varying levels of fame):

• Psychedelia Smith
• Anne Frankingmachine
• Butthole Surfers
• Cadence Weapon
• Mr. Velcro Fastener
• Voodoo Glow Skulls
• Control Machete
• Death By Kite
• The Dismemberment Plan
• Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
• Does It Offend You, Yeah?
• Mindless Self Indulgence
• Dry Kill Logic
• Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
• Dynamic Syncopation
• Fatman Turner Overweight
• Swollen Members
• Future Of The Left
• The Mr. T Experience
• Small Fish With Spine
• Glory Hole Theme Park
• Hairy Diamond
• Precision Cuts Rickie Whoop Whoop
• Handsome Boy Modeling School
• I Was A Cub Scout
• Killswitch Engage
• Man Without Wax

Seen a few of them live, Matt. Future of the Left's gig the other week gave me unrivalled tinnitus. They were even louder than Mogwai.

Phil Makepeace wrote:Seen a few of them live, Matt. Future of the Left's gig the other week gave me unrivalled tinnitus. They were even louder than Mogwai.

Future of the Left are just beautiful. Every song's a cracker. Saw them at Reading last year but only caught half the set, and would definite prefer a smaller venue. Saw them when they were Mclusky twice, excellent!

Matt Morrison wrote:...would definite prefer a smaller venue.

Yeah, this was ULU. Brutal acoustics.

Matt Morrison wrote:a few more interestingly-named acts from my music collection:

• Butthole Surfers
• Swollen Members
• Glory Hole Theme Park
• Handsome Boy Modeling School
• I Was A Cub Scout

But remember folks, he's not gay.

Matt Morrison wrote:

Phil Makepeace wrote:Seen a few of them live, Matt. Future of the Left's gig the other week gave me unrivalled tinnitus. They were even louder than Mogwai.

Future of the Left are just beautiful. Every song's a cracker. Saw them at Reading last year but only caught half the set, and would definite prefer a smaller venue. Saw them when they were Mclusky twice, excellent!

Future Of The Left have played the Middlesbrough Music Live free festival for the last two years, but they're always on the smaller outdoor stage and it hasn't really worked (mainly cos it's not LOUD enough). Wish I could've got to have seen Mclusky before they split, they were peerless.

Some good entries so far, cheers everyone. Keep them coming!

Matt Morrison wrote: Killswitch Engage

Lol first one I've heard of, and only thanks to Guitar Hero!

Dinos Sfyris wrote:

Matt Morrison wrote: Killswitch Engage

Lol first one I've heard of, and only thanks to Guitar Hero!

Such a good tune to play that one. Expert. I rule.

Two of my favourite recent discoveries for silly band names (good to listen to too!) are Nuclear Rabbit and Anal Cunt.

Not forgetting of course the recently reformed Lawnmower Deth...

Ian Volante wrote:Two of my favourite recent discoveries for silly band names (good to listen to too!) are Nuclear Rabbit and Anal Cunt.

Not forgetting of course the recently reformed Lawnmower Deth...

Dude, Anal Cunt are so '90s. It's all about Impaled Northern Moonforest now.

I saw Take That last night.

Charlie Reams wrote:

Ian Volante wrote:Two of my favourite recent discoveries for silly band names (good to listen to too!) are Nuclear Rabbit and Anal Cunt.

Not forgetting of course the recently reformed Lawnmower Deth...

Dude, Anal Cunt are so '90s. It's all about Impaled Northern Moonforest now.

Hmm, they do sound interesting

Matt Morrison wrote:

Phil Makepeace wrote:Seen a few of them live, Matt. Future of the Left's gig the other week gave me unrivalled tinnitus. They were even louder than Mogwai.

Future of the Left are just beautiful. Every song's a cracker. Saw them at Reading last year but only caught half the set, and would definite prefer a smaller venue. Saw them when they were Mclusky twice, excellent!

Hey - you just introduced me to Future of the Left. I like them! I grew up in Wales and am a Super Furrys fan so I should have come across these by now but i'm a bit out of NME-type music nowadays. Thanks.

Rob Thomas wrote:

Matt Morrison wrote:Future of the Left are just beautiful.

Hey - you just introduced me to Future of the Left. I like them! Thanks.

Colin was a pussy, a very pretty pussy. Etc.

My contribution to the list...

TISM. (This Is Serious, Mum)

I still think 'Metallica' was a really weird name for a band. System of a Down is another. Heavy metal bands usually have the best names anyway - Pantera (Spanish for 'panther'), Flotsam and Jetsam, Behemoth (I love the way it sounds like bear + moth) and Rhapsody of Fire all come to mind.

Time will run out at midnight. Anyone else fancy a go?

Bit busy to do this properly yesterday, but better late than never. Here are the exciting results!

1. The Airborne Toxic Event…are real. This is one of their best-known songs and very good it is too.

2. Base Pusher…are not real. I’m afraid I made this one up, although I couldn’t believe that nobody had used it before, it seems a pretty obvious choice. Maybe that’s why?

3. David Cronenberg’s Wife…are real. Here’s the excellently-creepy video for “My Best Friend’s Going Out With A Girl I Like”. Check out the surf guitar stylings!

4. The Don’t Fucking Cares…are also real. As they don’t seem to have anything on youtube, here’s a link to their myspace page.

5. Fury Of The Headteachers…are another real one. Here’s Not What It Used To Be], which is quite old now, but I can’t find anything newer.

6. Gandhi’s Summer Commandos…are totally made up. I’m so pleased with this one that I’m definitely going to use it myself in the future, although I’m currently unsure what sort of direction they should pursue. Any suggestions welcomed!

7. Inscrutable Skeleton…are not real. It’s a pretty crappy name for a band, which is probably why.

8. Kings Have Long Arms…are real. It’s pretty much just one guy with a bunch of cheap keyboards (although he has collaborated with none other than Ray Dorset from Mungo Jerry). This is a quite frankly bizarre video for his 2006 nearly-hit “Lisa Riley”.

9. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart…are real and have released one of my favourite albums of the year so far. This is Come Saturday. No video to speak of, but a damn fine song.

10. Prinzhorn Dance School…are real. They’re a bit like The Fall (this is a Good Thing) and surprised a lot of people (well, OK, me) by signing to DFA Records, better-known for more dance-oriented stuff like LCD Soundsystem, The Rapture and Hercules & Love Affair. Here is Space Invader – “it’s a bloke and a bird – shouting in a shed” says one of the comments, and what higher recommendation can there be?

11. Queer Girls…are made up, but again I’m quite surprised no militant lesbian riot grrl act have used it yet. Possibly it’s only a matter of time.

12. Rotating Leslie…are real, unlikely as it may seem (this is the one that caught most people out). I can’t find a video of their killer double-A side from last year, “Radio/Stop”, so here’s Fire! Fire! instead.

13. Sad Day For Puppets…are real, excellently. If anyone’s old enough to remember back to the early nineties, they sound very like Lush. This is them performing "Marble Gods" in a record shop.

14. Slab Panther…are not real. I got it from a random band name generator. They would be a spandex-clad ironically retro metal band if they did exist, however.

15. Soft Toy Emergency…are totally real. Here they are doing “Circles” at some club or other in Liverpool.

16. South Enema Trust…are blatantly made up. This caught no-one out, unsurprisingly.

17. Svartbag…however, are real. I’d never heard of them until a couple of months ago when I bought their album for a couple of quid on ebay, just because I liked the name. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be totally amazing in a Suicide/Mogwai kind of amazing way. All their songs go on for about ten minutes, which is presumably why there’s only very truncated versions on their myspace page. I guess the full versions wouldn’t fit.

18. Teen Challenge Choir…are (or were) also real, but I know next to nothing about them. In fact, I’ve only ever heard one track by them, which is…erm, “interesting”. I think it came from some sort of “outsider music” compilation, but to be honest I can’t really remember. Further Googling reveals that there may be multiple Teen Challenge Choirs on the loose, which is questionably a good thing.

19. This Town Needs Guns…are real as well. They’re from Oxford! Here is 26 Is Dancier Than 4 which if nothing else is an intriguing name for a song.

20. Trampoline Workshop…are invented. Again, this caught no-one out, you clever people.

And the results:

1. Matt Bayfield with an excellent 16/20. Matt wins the princely sum of TEN ACTUAL QUID, which, in keeping with the spirit of the competition, should really be spent on some super-obscure music that nobody’s ever heard of.
2. Charlie Reams with 14/20
3. Dinos Sfyris, also with 14/20
4. Matt Morrison, also also with 14/20
5. Chris Philpot, not with 14/20. He got 12/20!

Cheers to everyone who entered, it was fun. But I must go for now, those Gandhi’s Summer Commandos singles won’t write themselves.

Nice one Jim. A propos my above post, David Cronenberg's Wife were the one I saw a few weeks ago at Lexapalooza Fest in Holloway. Looks like I'm going to have to check out Svartbag after your Mogwai comparison.

JimBentley wrote:12. Rotating Leslie…are real, unlikely as it may seem

My guess would be that they're named after the "Leslie cabinet" which uses a rotating device to produce the characteristic tremolo effect in Hammond organs and the like.

*is highly pleased with the return on the 5 minutes he spent submitting his entry*

Nice one Jim - as a bit of a music nut, and also general lover of trivia/obscure references (not just limited to music, that one), I can't resist this kind of quiz, although there may have been more luck than judgment involved in my answers.

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart sounded so much like the name of a young emo band (or failing that, a young sensitive soloist like Final Fantasy) it had to be real! Of course, now I've said that, TPOBPAH is probably neither of those...

Cheers--
Matt

I've just noticed The Airborne Toxic Event are mainstaging at Latitude on Saturday. I might just have to see them, even though they clash with Joe Gideon & The Shark.

Oh, and on the Gandhi theme, Propagandhi niche that market rather well.

Wish I'd seen this earlier, as I like a bit of music.
Here's a dozen bands from my collection that don't get much airplay.

1. Fuckkk Offf
2. Fucked Up
3. Fuck Buttons
4. Total Fucking Destruction
5. Pissed Jeans
6. Alien Sex Fiend
7. Crazy Penis
8. Flash Bastard
9. Swearing At Motorists
10. Throbbing Gristle
11. The New Pornographers
12. !!!

Lovely stuff. I'm off to put the stereo on.

John Gillies wrote: 4. Total Fucking Destruction

I met Joseph Sweeney (think that was his name) from TFD in Cork in 2002 on his birthday and as he was on his own we invited back to our place for a session. Had no idea he was in a band until the walk back. Defo not my thing but had some laugh listening to the songs the next day on the web (kill the jocks i recall being my personal favourite, though i wouldn't eat their brains myself) and passed them on to any metallers i knew. He was after splitting off on his own after an eastern europe tour and seeing some more of the world. He was a seriously nice guy and enjoyed playing the glockenspiel back at the house, from what i can remember!

Yeah, this game was cool. Had a go just there not knowing any...yes... none of the bands in the list. Did terrible!

Andy,
That sounds cool. Glad to hear he's a decent bloke and they're touring. Their music's a bit brutal; don't think the neighbours like it much!
My only claim to fame is talking to Matthew Jay at the bar after he played at King Tuts in Glasgow. Sadly, he jumped out of a window and was killed a couple of years later. I think he was in his early to mid twenties. Tragic - he was very talented and released one great album which I treasure.
Also, I know the guitarist from The Casuals - he lives a few doors away. They released an EP. They can be found on Myspace. Great band, seen them a few times. Unfortunately, they went down to London to make an album but it never materialised. They've all got normal jobs now as far as I know. Bummer.
Further to our conversation on the site, you look like a folky with that beard, lol. Don't mean to stereotype. If I used my photo as my avatar you would take me for a Sydney Devine or Val Doonican fan! At concerts I'm frequently the oldest there - the sad grey haired old git wearing a Daniel Johnston t-shirt and denim jacket (which should be brought back into fashion).
Anyway, good luck with the band in the future. Keep on truckin', maaaaaan!

John Gillies wrote:denim jacket (which should be brought back into fashion).

They are apparently. A friend of mine turned up to visit me last week wearing the classic jeans and jean jacket combo. He assures me its coming back. I personally thought he looked like a bit of a knob

Matt Morrison wrote:

John Gillies wrote:denim jacket (which should be brought back into fashion).

They are apparently. A friend of mine turned up to visit me last week wearing the classic jeans and jean jacket combo. He assures me its coming back. I personally thought he looked like a bit of a knob

Nowt wrong with the jacket, just doesn't work with jeans as well! Mind you, I'm stuck in 1992.

John Gillies wrote:11. The New Pornographers

Lovely stuff.

Quite right too. Possibly my favourite band (that are still going) I've never seen live. But they play the Electric Ballroom next month! The aforementioned title may well then pass to The Appleseed Cast who just don't ever seem to tour outside North America, the fuckers.