What minor crimes are you willing to confess to here?

[Mark Deeks]

Obviously, you should confess to all your big crimes too. Just not necessarily on this forum. Not until after a police interview, anyway.

I'll start. I rarely pay for the plastic bags in supermarkets. This is out of annoyance at my own forgetting to bring them, knowing how many I already have, which is illogical and selfish but there we go.

[Marc Meakin]

Riding my electric bike with a secret throttle so I don't have to pedal up hill , it can't go faster than 20mph but still technically breaking the law unless off road

[Gavin Chipper]

When I was at university, me and a friend would get pizza from this takeaway. We'd ring up and order, and then get the pizzas and eat in (they had a couple of tables). But when we came in we'd order a can of drink each as well and pay for the lot. But a couple of times they just charged for the drinks, and I didn't say anything!

[Gavin Chipper]

I'm sure Corby has got his eye on this thread.

[Marc Meakin]

Quite often I buy a return ticket on the train from Kent to Essex or aLondon with the return a month after purchase and sometimes I may use that return more than once provided I don't go through any barriers.
I usually get a coach back to London in order to take full advantage of the return

[David Harrison]

I'll start. I rarely pay for the plastic bags in supermarkets. This is out of annoyance at my own forgetting to bring them, knowing how many I already have, which is illogical and selfish but there we go.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do this.

[Marc Meakin]

I'll start. I rarely pay for the plastic bags in supermarkets. This is out of annoyance at my own forgetting to bring them, knowing how many I already have, which is illogical and selfish but there we go.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do this.

As Waitrose charge a quid for a bag I usually either make sure I always have a bag in my pocket/locker or I take a paper Deliveroo bag from the ODG area
The only physical shopping I do nowadays is after work or before work

[Adam S Latchford]

far too many minor crimes by members of this community

[Marc Meakin]

far too many minor crimes by members of this community

If there was a graph for minor to major crimes for all forumites and Apterites the shape of that graph will be a big U

[Fiona T]

Obviously, you should confess to all your big crimes too. Just not necessarily on this forum. Not until after a police interview, anyway.

I'll start. I rarely pay for the plastic bags in supermarkets. This is out of annoyance at my own forgetting to bring them, knowing how many I already have, which is illogical and selfish but there we go.

That's no different to nicking a banana or something else that costs 30p. You could probably hide a banana in your pocket too.

[Gavin Chipper]

Another university one, but I'm not sure the prosecution's case would stand up in court. In my hall of residence a friend of mine came to my room with an Aero. He told me that the vending machine downstairs had issued it for nothing. For some reason if you pressed A4 (or whatever it was) it would just deposit an Aero without requiring any money. Maybe the price had been set at zero - dunno. Anyway he seemed to be feeling quite guilty about taking this one Aero. I just went straight down to the vending machine with a carrier bag and cleaned it out of Aeros. Probably 20 or so. Possibly even 25.

There was another occasion when the vending machine hadn't been locked and it got completely looted of everything. I wasn't involved in this but I think they gave the whole hall of residence a massive bollocking over it.

[Callum Todd]

You could probably hide a banana in your pocket too.

Sir, are you shoplifting or are you just happy to see me?

[Marc Meakin]

Another university one, but I'm not sure the prosecution's case would stand up in court. In my hall of residence a friend of mine came to my room with an Aero. He told me that the vending machine downstairs had issued it for nothing. For some reason if you pressed A4 (or whatever it was) it would just deposit an Aero without requiring any money. Maybe the price had been set at zero - dunno. Anyway he seemed to be feeling quite guilty about taking this one Aero. I just went straight down to the vending machine with a carrier bag and cleaned it out of Aeros. Probably 20 or so. Possibly even 25.

There was another occasion when the vending machine hadn't been locked and it got completely looted of everything. I wasn't involved in this but I think they gave the whole hall of residence a massive bollocking over it.

There is a vending machine at Canterbury East Station that had diet coke for the price of a bag of Walkers £1.20 instead of £2.40 .
So every day for about 10 days I bought a diet coke until the cokes ran out and I have since got a bike so I don't use it now.


Speaking of train stations , when the tube stations started using ticket machines in the early days I found out that a 10 wrapped in silver foil or duct tape registered as 50 p.
It might of lasted longer but too many people were putting in loads of taped up 10 ps and cancelled the transaction getting 40p for free for every 10 deposited.
Way to kill the golden goose

[Callum Todd]

There is a vending machine at Canterbury East Station that had diet coke for the price of a bag of Walkers £1.20 instead of £2.40 .
So every day for about 10 days I bought a diet coke until the cokes ran out and I have since got a bike so I don't use it now.

The only crime here is charging £2.40 for a Diet Coke. Fuck me.

[David Harrison]

There is a vending machine at Canterbury East Station that had diet coke for the price of a bag of Walkers £1.20 instead of £2.40 .
So every day for about 10 days I bought a diet coke until the cokes ran out and I have since got a bike so I don't use it now.

The only crime here is charging £2.40 for a Diet Coke. Fuck me.

I went to a concert at the new Co-op arena in Manchester, it was £4.20 for a can of Diet Coke, that’s no exaggeration!

[Marc Meakin]

There is a vending machine at Canterbury East Station that had diet coke for the price of a bag of Walkers £1.20 instead of £2.40 .
So every day for about 10 days I bought a diet coke until the cokes ran out and I have since got a bike so I don't use it now.

The only crime here is charging £2.40 for a Diet Coke. Fuck me.

It was a 500ml bottle but still

[Callum Todd]

There is a vending machine at Canterbury East Station that had diet coke for the price of a bag of Walkers £1.20 instead of £2.40 .
So every day for about 10 days I bought a diet coke until the cokes ran out and I have since got a bike so I don't use it now.

The only crime here is charging £2.40 for a Diet Coke. Fuck me.

It was a 500ml bottle but still

It was still?! That's even worse! Who drinks still cola, I would expect it to be sparkling at any price.

[Gavin Chipper]

got a bike

Tell me more!

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

[Gavin Chipper]

Also while I was at university there were a couple of pool tables that took two 20p coins. You'd put them in the thing flat, push the thing in - well you know how it works. Anyway I found out that if you let the thing back out exactly 8 clicks after releasing the balls you could push it in again and get another game without paying. I then happened to notice that you could use 1p coins instead. But a couple of my friends thought I was foolish doing this as they would be seen. And indeed they later changed the mechanisms on these pool tables. It was fun while it lasted though.

[Callum Todd]

This joke

The only crime here is charging £2.40 for a Diet Coke. Fuck me.

It was a 500ml bottle but still

It was still?! That's even worse! Who drinks still cola, I would expect it to be sparkling at any price.

[Marc Meakin]

got a bike

Tell me more!

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

This one was legit I paid £1500 for it (with a spare battery).
Though as it has a hidden throttle not legit on the road due to current legislation which prohibits such aids.
Probably why so many people , drive to the shops to get their morning paper, that are too old to drive as they have little alternative apart from the much more dangerous mobility scooters

[Fiona T]

got a bike

Tell me more!

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

This one was legit I paid £1500 for it (with a spare battery).
Though as it has a hidden throttle not legit on the road due to current legislation which prohibits such aids.
Probably why so many people , drive to the shops to get their morning paper, that are too old to drive as they have little alternative apart from the much more dangerous mobility scooters

So it's a moped?

[Marc Meakin]

Tell me more!

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

This one was legit I paid £1500 for it (with a spare battery).
Though as it has a hidden throttle not legit on the road due to current legislation which prohibits such aids.
Probably why so many people , drive to the shops to get their morning paper, that are too old to drive as they have little alternative apart from the much more dangerous mobility scooters

So it's a moped?

No it's an electric bike that does the required speed limit for electric bikes except it has a throttle that doesn't cut out a 2mph like its recommended.
I live in a hilly village and pedalling uphill is not easy and getting off and walking the bike is more dangerous without kerbs.
I didn't want to buy a moped because it's not as green as an electric bike and I keep my bike locked inside at work work with battery removed and kept in a fireproof bag in my locker.
Mopeds are more likely to be stolen parked in a public place

[Marc Meakin]

Enjoying listening to Boris Johnsons audiobook

[Gavin Chipper]

Enjoying listening to Boris Johnsons audiobook

Thread says minor.

[Marc Meakin]

Enjoying listening to Boris Johnsons audiobook

Thread says minor.

I've noticed he has left out minor details like his womanising , casual racism and tyrant father

[David Harrison]

Enjoying listening to Boris Johnsons audiobook

Thread says minor.

The last time I checked it wasn’t illegal to read a fiction book.

[Marc Meakin]

Not so much a crime but thoughtless (so my wife says )
I went round my sisters Wednesday night and she told me that her daughter and granddaughter have norovirus but she didn't have it (at the time )
The next day my sister was poorly so I went straight home.
Went to work on Friday feeling OK.
But by the end of my shift I was feeling very rough and got a taxi home.
In retrospect I should have stayed whilst not ill