Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

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Mark Deeks
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Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark Deeks »

It's OK to marry your cousin.

Men should sit down to urinate.

Steve Irwin was really annoying.

Alcohol is a scourge on society.

The correct way to insert capital letters when using a keyboard is to go caps lock -> letter -> caps lock.

Tea and coffee are too hot to drink and when they've cooled down they taste like wank.

Teaching children Shakespeare does considerably more harm than good.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Mark Deeks wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:04 pm It's OK to marry your cousin.

Men should sit down to urinate.

Steve Irwin was really annoying.

Alcohol is a scourge on society.

The correct way to insert capital letters when using a keyboard is to go caps lock -> letter -> caps lock.

Tea and coffee are too hot to drink and when they've cooled down they taste like wank.

Teaching children Shakespeare does considerably more harm than good.
Good subject, can't believe I hadn't thought of it.
Interestingly I agree with some, in fact my Brothers partner is his second cousin, though he didn't know for about 6 months (I come from a large family).
I agree with the tea and coffee thing, I usually drink mine in 5 minutes or less.
Capital letters, I do this all the time, though Im a two finger typist.
Disagree with the Shakespeare comment and I would put refined sugar above alcohol.
Backshaw is more annoying than Irwin.
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Post by Marc Meakin »

Punctuation and grammar is over rated., I don't care about spelling neither if it makes sense.
Apart from pedants, who cares about apostrophes.

Love the art and not the artist.
Polanski is a genius.

Funny is funny, there should be no taboos in comedy.

I will refer to people by their chosen name and not their pronouns

I dont accept dead names
Bruce Jenner was a great decathlete and Ellen Page was a fine actress in Inception and Juno.

Socks should be optional, even with sandals

Baths should be banned from all new houses and all new bathrooms should have walk in showers as standard

3 hour plus films should not have an intermission.
Its not a play for fuck sake.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

I'd go further on the Shakespeare one and say that having to do English literature GCSE does more harm than good. To be honest, I think GCSEs as a whole should probably go. Not everything you learn has to be formally examined so that you get a "qualification" in it. Up to age 16, you could just have basic literacy and numeracy qualifications. Still learn other stuff obviously, but for its own sake, not for a piece of paper.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Marc Meakin wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:40 pm 3 hour plus films should not have an intermission.
Its not a play for fuck sake.
This could be combined with Mark's peeing sitting down.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Sam Cappleman-Lynes »

Marc Meakin wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:40 pm Baths should be banned from all new houses
Ever tried showering a baby?
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Johnny Canuck »

Marc Meakin wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:40 pmI will refer to people by their chosen name

I dont accept dead names
Not sure you can have that one both ways
I'm not dead yet. In a rut right now because of stress from work. I'll be back later in S89. I also plan to bring back the Mastergram - if I can find a way to run a timer or clock through pure MediaWiki without having to upload to Vimeo every time.
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Post by Graeme Cole »

Marc Meakin wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:40 pm I will refer to people by their chosen name and not their pronouns
What, you never use the words "him", "her" or "them" to refer to someone?
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

I do refer to my pets as him and her and my family but if I don't know someone's preferred pronouns I would go out of my way to only use their first name.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark James »

Mark Deeks wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:04 pm Alcohol is a scourge on society.
*family fortunes incorrect buzzer sound*

Actually, alcohol is the only thing that makes this shit world bearable. (Yes. I may be an alcoholic)
Mark Deeks wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:04 pm The correct way to insert capital letters when using a keyboard is to go caps lock -> letter -> caps lock.
This is the behaviour of a psychopath.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark Deeks »

There are two types of people in this world. Those who contribute to an unpopular opinions thread with their own, and those who seek only to judge the contributions of others. Step up to the plate, cowards.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Andres Sanchez »

Milk then cereal is an acceptable way of eating cereal in the morning.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Fiona T »

I like Mrs Brown's boys
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark Deeks »

Andres Sanchez wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 4:16 pm Milk then cereal is an acceptable way of eating cereal in the morning.

Acceptable, yes, but surely less satisfying. I like watching the Weetabix get progressively soggier.
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Post by Marc Meakin »

I may have post this before elsewhere but if I am ever in a buffet/carvery situation whereby you collect your main course and a pudding, at the same time, I prefer to eat my pudding first.
Also I have a hot drink and a cold drink at the same time and often drink some of both alternately, especially if the coffee is too hot

Also on the subject of food.
I a love tuna sandwich.
I love pasta but tuna and pasta, nah.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

It may be a autistic thing but I seldom do the first 'hello, good morning etc.
I will always reciprocate but there are times when I'm working I seldom speak unless spoken too.
Im not great with small talk
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Radiohead aren't very good.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Gavin Chipper wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 5:53 pm Radiohead aren't very good.
To give me some context could you tell me your favourite band.
Btw Radiohead have 3 albums in my top 50 (The Bends, OK Computer and In Rainbows)
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Marc Meakin wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 6:08 pm
Gavin Chipper wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 5:53 pm Radiohead aren't very good.
To give me some context could you tell me your favourite band.
Btw Radiohead have 3 albums in my top 50 (The Bends, OK Computer and In Rainbows)
I don't really have one. That's another one - bands on the whole tend to be overrated. For the most part they do a couple of songs that people like and then they get these fans that then buy their album and have to pretend to like their boring songs, which is generally most of them. If you start liking songs rather than bands, you no longer have to pretend.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Paul Worsley »

JFK was assassinated by lone gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Timothy Dalton was the best James Bond.

The Terminator (1984) was a much better film than Terminator 2. Judgement Day (1991).

Black (liquorice flavour) Midget Gems are better than all the other Midget Gem flavours,

Ultravox! were a better band than Ultravox.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Paul Worsley wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 6:45 pm JFK was assassinated by lone gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Timothy Dalton was the best James Bond.

The Terminator (1984) was a much better film than Terminator 2. Judgement Day (1991).

Black (liquorice flavour) Midget Gems are better than all the other Midget Gem flavours,

Ultravox! were a better band than Ultravox.
I agree that he is the best actor to play Bond and Licence to Kill one of the best in the Francis.
Also I think OHMSS is vastly underrated though Lazenby was weak.
Alien is better than Aliens.
I concur with black midget gems
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by David Williams »

I thought this was going to be stuff like "I think Matt Hancock did a pretty good job under the circumstances". There's nothing unpopular about most of these, just a little uncommon.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark James »

All my opinions happen to be correct so I can't gauge how unpopular they are because I don't care.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

David Williams wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 8:11 pm I thought this was going to be stuff like "I think Matt Hancock did a pretty good job under the circumstances". There's nothing unpopular about most of these, just a little uncommon.
We're waiting for Rhys then.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Diana was murdered.
JFK faked his own death.
Elf is an awful movie, Will Ferrell is not funny.
The Machines in the Matrix was right 1999 really was the best period and nothing since has bettered it.
The NHS should be only for those on benefits everyone else should get health insurance.
Glastonbury is better on the TV
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Elliott Mellor »

Marc Meakin wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:06 pm Diana was murdered.
JFK faked his own death.
Elf is an awful movie, Will Ferrell is not funny.
The Machines in the Matrix was right 1999 really was the best period and nothing since has bettered it.
The NHS should be only for those on benefits everyone else should get health insurance.
Glastonbury is better on the TV
JFK faked his own death? Explain this one.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Martin Long »

The Harry Potter films are better than the Lord of the Rings films.

Roger Moore is the worst James Bond.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Elliott Mellor wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:10 pm
Marc Meakin wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:06 pm Diana was murdered.
JFK faked his own death.
Elf is an awful movie, Will Ferrell is not funny.
The Machines in the Matrix was right 1999 really was the best period and nothing since has bettered it.
The NHS should be only for those on benefits everyone else should get health insurance.
Glastonbury is better on the TV
JFK faked his own death? Explain this one.
Watch JFK X on Amazon Prime.
Yes it's made by the same guy that made a doc on The Moon Landings being faked but I really enjoyed it and he makes it believable.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Martin Long wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:29 pm The Harry Potter films are better than the Lord of the Rings films.

Roger Moore is the worst James Bond.
I agree with both
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Your teenage years are probably the worst period of your life
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark James »

Marc Meakin wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:57 pm Your teenage years are probably the worst period of your life
No one disagrees with this. You're ruining this thread more than me.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark James »

Mark Deeks wrote: Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:04 pm Alcohol is a scourge on society.
Nerd culture was far more ruinous. Nerds used to be bullied for a reason and with good cause. I get that being bullied sucked and a good defence was to not care and double down on being nerdy but it went too far. And then of course it was appropriated by people who were never nerds but felt it acceptable to embrace nerdish things and call themselves nerds. And some nerds let this happen because they wanted to be accepted. You idiots. That's how we ended up with new atheism, debate bros, tech worship and shitty marvel movies. No one should aspire to be a nerd, it's something that you should accept that you are but make every effort to not be.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark Deeks »

There you go, now we're cooking on gas.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Mark James wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 10:20 pm
Marc Meakin wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:57 pm Your teenage years are probably the worst period of your life
No one disagrees with this. You're ruining this thread more than me.
Having been told your schooldays are the best years of your life which contradicts the above statement.
The Thing for me was 16 to 20 teenage boys are at their sexual peak, yet acne isn't a turn on for girls plus being socially awkward by going to a single sex schoo(l thanks mum and dad)
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Musical theatre is pish
Especially Jukebox musicals.
Shoehorning a story around these songs is cringey as fuck.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Ian Volante »

Marc Meakin wrote: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:06 pm Will Ferrell is not funny.
This is like saying the sky is blue.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

It is basically arbitrary which art is considered great. If you didn't already know that the Mona Lisa was supposed to be this all-time great piece of art, you wouldn't pick it out as such.
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Post by Phil H »

Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Phil H wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 7:29 pm Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
I used to think that Internet porn would stop rapes
But there is no evidence it does and probably could be detrimental.
I fear that paedophiles might be encouraged to act out their depravity
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Post by Martin Hurst »

Phil H wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 7:29 pm Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
No way I'm going to watch Toy Story 5 now.
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Post by Paul Worsley »

Phil H wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 7:29 pm Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
Jeez. I thought liking black midget gems was going to be controversial.....

This is fucking mental.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Paul Worsley wrote: Thu Nov 23, 2023 1:03 pm
Phil H wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 7:29 pm Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
Jeez. I thought liking black midget gems was going to be controversial.....

This is fucking mental.
I read that as black midgets
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Paul Worsley wrote: Thu Nov 23, 2023 1:03 pm
Phil H wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 7:29 pm Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
Jeez. I thought liking black midget gems was going to be controversial.....

This is fucking mental.
A lot of the time people base their morals on the "yuck factor", but it's debatable whether this is good practice.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Gavin Chipper wrote: Tue Nov 28, 2023 3:55 pm
Paul Worsley wrote: Thu Nov 23, 2023 1:03 pm
Phil H wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 7:29 pm Creating more CGI and animated porn for the enjoyment of paedophiles would likely reduce offending and therefore be a good thing.
Jeez. I thought liking black midget gems was going to be controversial.....

This is fucking mental.
A lot of the time people base their morals on the "yuck factor", but it's debatable whether this is good practice.
That's probably why I hated most of Saltburn
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Post by Matt Rutherford »

OK, time to join the fun...

-It would be better for people to save having sex until after marriage (not that I will judge anyone who does not)

-Cursive handwriting should not be taught in schools. Once kids have got writing, they should focus on typing skills. In addition, much more of education should be computer/keyboard-based, as reflects society

-There are people who choose to stay as victims of their circumstances rather than doing something about it

-Marmite is the best condiment

-Alcohol IS a scourge on society, and British drinking culture encourages dangerous levels of consumption

-The Office US is better than the UK edition

-Eating KitKats without breaking them into individual fingers is a perfectly legitimate way to eat them

-Tea is best consumed with no milk or sugar

-All cars sold in the UK should be sold with automatic gearboxes

-Doing competitive anagramming is a perfectly legitimate way to spend your free time

-I believe Christianity to be true

Loving the eclectic mix of other views so far-keep 'em coming!
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Matt Rutherford wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:40 pm OK, time to join the fun...

-It would be better for people to save having sex until after marriage (not that I will judge anyone who does not)

-Cursive handwriting should not be taught in schools. Once kids have got writing, they should focus on typing skills. In addition, much more of education should be computer/keyboard-based, as reflects society

-There are people who choose to stay as victims of their circumstances rather than doing something about it

-Marmite is the best condiment

-Alcohol IS a scourge on society, and British drinking culture encourages dangerous levels of consumption

-The Office US is better than the UK edition

-Eating KitKats without breaking them into individual fingers is a perfectly legitimate way to eat them

-Tea is best consumed with no milk or sugar

-All cars sold in the UK should be sold with automatic gearboxes

-Doing competitive anagramming is a perfectly legitimate way to spend your free time

-I believe Christianity to be true

Loving the eclectic mix of other views so far-keep 'em coming!
I really can't see the advantage of saving sex until marriage.
I know sex isn't the be all and end all but imagine finding out you are not sexually compatible on your wedding night.
I think you should live together first or at least have a vacation together.
Most of the rest I have no issue with although I only like iced tea
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

I've probably posted this basic thing before but it's the perfect thread for it:

Piercings and tattoos are completely mental and are basically the acceptable face of self harm. And I very much include pierced ears on women in this. If anything it's worse because you're making these holes in yourself out of mindless conformity.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Mark Deeks »

Viewing individual female expression as an act of mindless conformity is some pretty weapons-grade patriarchy right there, Gev. Do take a moment to indulge a little in the history of female aesthetics and how they have historically been conscripted to look the way men tell them to, then decide whether to reassess what you said and how you said it.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Twitter is an abomination and should either be banned or be a subscription service so there is no anonymity and people should be charged for making tweets with the money going to all bullying charities.

Mobile phones should be switched off and handed in at, cinemas, theatres and restaurants.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Elliott Mellor »

I'll wade in with a couple. Some related to opinions already expressed, some new.

- The education system does virtually nothing in the way of preparing people for work, in fact in many cases it actually hinders them. We are in need of a radical reform, and amongst that should be getting rid of antiquated crap that virtually no one is interested in (eg: Shakespeare).

- Far more people have an alcohol problem than are willing to admit it, and society really normalises this in a dangerous way especially for university students. I'm far from a prude and would encourage people to enjoy themselves whilst young, but if you are frequently ending up drunk then you aren't "embracing university culture", you've got an alcohol problem that you don't want to admit.

- A lot of people who cling to religion just don't want to accept the possibility that they've been wrong all their lives. If you're willing to accept evolution, the scientific estimate of the age of the earth, and many of the other theories that actively disprove religious scriptures, then how do you justify accepting anything in the texts when so much is demonstrably false even by your own admission, if it's not just that you don't want to admit to being wrong?

- The huge drawbacks of having children should be taught to people. The notion that having kids is some "duty" or "gift" really needs to stop. If more people were aware of the colossal downsides, people might think twice before having five kids and then regretting it when it turns out it isn't all roses.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Mark Deeks wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 5:55 am Viewing individual female expression as an act of mindless conformity is some pretty weapons-grade patriarchy right there, Gev. Do take a moment to indulge a little in the history of female aesthetics and how they have historically been conscripted to look the way men tell them to, then decide whether to reassess what you said and how you said it.
I don't see it as patriarchy. My main point is that it is mental on all sides. If statistically it was men who generally got their ears pierced most, then I would have said it that way round. So any patriarchyness that comes across is just coincidence.

Plus my "character" on here is an exaggerated version of myself and I see this as the thread to let loose on that.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Ian Volante »

Matt Rutherford wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:40 pm -It would be better for people to save having sex until after marriage (not that I will judge anyone who does not)
I don't understand why enjoying a particularly fun activity, and fundamental biological function, should be avoided until committing to one person for life. It seems to me the equivalent of being banned from watching telly until you promise to only watch Channel 5 for the rest of your days.
Matt Rutherford wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:40 pm -Alcohol IS a scourge on society, and British drinking culture encourages dangerous levels of consumption
Fully agreed. However, I completely disagree with banning it. Like other illegal substances, prohibitions simply reduce the quality (and increase the harm) of what is available, and drive any profits into the hands of criminals.
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Fiona T
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Fiona T »

Shamima Begum was a child victim who was groomed by a terrorist organisation, and should be treated as such (that is not saying she should be absolved of any responsibility for any crimes she committed, but that she is also just as much a victim as a the children who were groomed by Harvey Weinstein's cohort as an example)
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Fiona T »

Ian Volante wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 1:05 pm
Matt Rutherford wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:40 pm -It would be better for people to save having sex until after marriage (not that I will judge anyone who does not)
I don't understand why enjoying a particularly fun activity, and fundamental biological function, should be avoided until committing to one person for life. It seems to me the equivalent of being banned from watching telly until you promise to only watch Channel 5 for the rest of your days.
There is really no good reason why unmarried adults should not enjoy consensual safe sex. Of course open and frank conversations/sexual education is important to ensure no-one feels pressured into having sex before they are ready.

Not doing so can result in the desire for sex being a strong motivator to marry someone you may not be compatible with.
Making sex taboo outside marriage/fear of parents finding out can prevent sexually active teenagers seeking contraceptive and other sexual health advice (I speak from first hand experience here!)

Ian Volante wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 1:05 pm
Matt Rutherford wrote: Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:40 pm -Alcohol IS a scourge on society, and British drinking culture encourages dangerous levels of consumption
Fully agreed. However, I completely disagree with banning it. Like other illegal substances, prohibitions simply reduce the quality (and increase the harm) of what is available, and drive any profits into the hands of criminals.
Agree with this. Drastically reduce advertising, increase advertising of the adverse effects, stop making it seem "cool", but banning not the answer.
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

The whole alcohol thing seems not so unpopular. But c4c probably isn't representative.
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Mark Deeks
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

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Fiona T wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 1:15 pm Shamima Begum was a child victim who was groomed by a terrorist organisation, and should be treated as such (that is not saying she should be absolved of any responsibility for any crimes she committed, but that she is also just as much a victim as a the children who were groomed by Harvey Weinstein's cohort as an example)
I hadn't really thought about this one before but you have a point.
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Mark Deeks
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

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Speaking of which, Jeffrey Epstein did kill himself.
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Gavin Chipper
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Gavin Chipper »

Mark Deeks wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 2:43 pm
Fiona T wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 1:15 pm Shamima Begum was a child victim who was groomed by a terrorist organisation, and should be treated as such (that is not saying she should be absolved of any responsibility for any crimes she committed, but that she is also just as much a victim as a the children who were groomed by Harvey Weinstein's cohort as an example)
I hadn't really thought about this one before but you have a point.
Pretty sure Sajid Javid was just playing politics, appealing to certain people, when he got her banned from coming back. We might even have discussed it on here at some point.

Edit - yeah
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Mark Deeks wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 2:43 pm
Fiona T wrote: Thu Nov 30, 2023 1:15 pm Shamima Begum was a child victim who was groomed by a terrorist organisation, and should be treated as such (that is not saying she should be absolved of any responsibility for any crimes she committed, but that she is also just as much a victim as a the children who were groomed by Harvey Weinstein's cohort as an example)
I hadn't really thought about this one before but you have a point.
This is a slippery slope.
Taking it to a ridiculous conclusion do we feel sorry for rapists and paedos because they were exploited as children?
Begum wasn't a baby by any means
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Marc Meakin
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Re: Unpopular opinions you genuinely hold

Post by Marc Meakin »

Anyone having more than 2 children should be taxed.
Equally, tax breaks for married couples without children.
Also it should be compulsory for couples to have parenting skills classes before starting a family
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