(Men) sitting down for a wee
Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 12:31 pm
Recently, someone male who I used to respect greatly confided in me that they sit down for a wee. Am I right to think less of them after this revelation?
A group for contestants and lovers of the Channel 4 game show 'Countdown'.
http://www.c4countdown.co.uk/
I'm now worried that my willy's going to wither away Unless you mean you're only now about four foot tall, and would have to arc your pee into the bowl.Peter Mabey wrote:.. and in the 80's natural shrinkage leaves no alternative.
I don't think people try hard enough. I rarely miss, although the tedious problem of a seat at home that doesn't stay up makes it quite difficult not to splatter that now and again.Jon Corby wrote:When not using a urinal men should sit down. It's not possible to reliably aim into the bowl without spilling a drop, especially at the start or the end. Maybe it was when I was younger, I genuinely can't remember, and my recent attempts to observe small boys urinating has landed me in a lot of trouble. The state of the floor around most pissed-in (on) public toilets (including those at my work, a professional office environment) suggests I'm not alone.
Me too. What a coincidence.Jon O'Neill wrote:Recently, someone male who I used to respect greatly confided in me that they sit down for a wee. Am I right to think less of them after this revelation?
Yes. If they can't stand for (realistically) under a minute and they also sit down for everything else they do.Ryan Taylor wrote:It depends on the circumstances. If, let's say (for argument's sake) a man approaching his 40's, got a bit tired and hurty knees from all the standing up then perhaps a sit down would do them good.
If it goes non-straight straight out of the gun there's probably not much you can do, to be fair.Ian Volante wrote:I don't think people try hard enough. I rarely miss, although the tedious problem of a seat at home that doesn't stay up makes it quite difficult not to splatter that now and again.
Less effort? I would argue that the effort involved in pulling your trousers and pants down (and up again afterwards), moving into the sitting position and having to stand up again at the end is far more effort than simply standing throughout. And anyway I fundamentally disagree with the premise that standing for a few seconds is "effort".Mark Deeks wrote:a) It is less effort. This one is possibly the most essential of the lot. I am not an exceptionally overweight person, but I am an exceptionally lazy one. And so while I could support my entire body weight while taking a slash, is it not a bit churlish to do so when a seat is on hand ready to assist? There are no other situations in life where I would choose to stand when sitting is a perfectly acceptable option, so why should this be any different?
How long do you piss for? I'd like to do an experiment. Read, stop reading to have a piss, read. Or read, go for a piss while reading, carry or reading afterwards. In which situation would you get more read? Clearly the first. You waste time with all the faffing. It would have to be a very long piss for it to be worth it. I don't read when I have a shit. Reading when you piss is just ridiculous.b) When sitting down, you have the opportunity to read a book, or maybe do a crossword. Or a jigsaw, if you're posh. If you're standing upright, generally you need one hand to guide the hampton (or two if you're lucky), and so reading a book isn't exactly on the cards. How would you turn the page? There is a far greater risk of dropping the book in the lavvy bowl itself, and that's not going to be pleasant at any time, even pre-wee. You could maybe say that mid-wee isn't the time to be reading whether standing OR sitting (or lying down, if it's your thing), and you may have a point, but I can't go that long without entertainment. And I don't consider having a wazz to be entertainment.
You can piss through the gap under the seat onto your trousers if you're sitting down. That counts as missing, and it's worse than pissing on the floor.c) You cannot miss if you are sitting down, as many men are wont to do when standing upright, or leaning forwardly awkwardly drunk. This can't-miss reason is particularly valid if you have an enormous penis, as you're then pissing directly into the water in the bottom. So now we know Jono does not have an enormous penis.
Trouser removal requires next to no effort for me. I don't think I wear the same constant erection trousers with optional chastity belt that you do. Also, as we found out at CoLin, you weigh seven stone less than me, so no you wouldn't understand what an effort standing can be.I would argue that the effort involved in pulling your trousers and pants down (and up again afterwards), moving into the sitting position and having to stand up again at the end is far more effort than simply standing throughout. And anyway I fundamentally disagree with the premise that standing for a few seconds is "effort".
I measure my piss time in page count, and generally it's a one pager. Sometimes if I'm enjoying the book I'll remain reading it on the loo. I really think you're overestimating how much effort goes into sitting down on the toilet, which is literally a two seconds each way job in the right attire. Are you sure you're facing the right way?How long do you piss for? I'd like to do an experiment. Read, stop reading to have a piss, read. Or read, go for a piss while reading, carry or reading afterwards. In which situation would you get more read? Clearly the first. You waste time with all the faffing. It would have to be a very long piss for it to be worth it. I don't read when I have a shit. Reading when you piss is just ridiculous.
I cannot imagine how this is possible unless you have a foreskinless one incher or a ridiculously thick toilet seat. I have certainly never done it and I don't consider myself especially skilled at pissing.You can piss through the gap under the seat onto your trousers if you're sitting down. That counts as missing, and it's worse than pissing on the floor.
It doesn't happen to me either (when I'm sitting down to have a shit so happen to be pissing anyway), but it has happened years ago. You're actually most at risk if you've got a semi, and you're stopping pissing - applying the brakes so to speak. You sometimes get that extra spurt when you brake don't you?Mark Deeks wrote:I cannot imagine how this is possible unless you have a foreskinless one incher or a ridiculously thick toilet seat. I have certainly never done it and I don't consider myself especially skilled at pissing.You can piss through the gap under the seat onto your trousers if you're sitting down. That counts as missing, and it's worse than pissing on the floor.
I read this as meaning the 1980s which was enjoyable.Peter Mabey wrote:.. and in the 80's natural shrinkage leaves no alternative.
Sometimes when I'm having a shit and obviously I piss as well at the same time, once I've finished everything, I do feel that there's a bit more piss to come out. If I do, I wait until I'm standing up again. It seems to be a more reliable and efficient way of doing it. I don't know why. Maybe as you say it's to do with internal organs and fat. But when I'm pissing there's definitely a point where you know the piss is going to clear out. If I'm sitting down and pissing and there's not much there, it doesn't necessarily reach that point. So you're constantly having to put effort into the piss. But stand up, and it will reach critical mass much more easily and the piss just flows out without extra effort.Matt Morrison wrote:It's all about sitting down, it's the best.
The only thing I have to add, the only occasional downside, is that sometimes I find once I stand up I fancy a little tiny bit more wee. I've always assumed this is - and here's the science bit - because your internal organs squash together that bit more when you're sat down. And fat.
What? How would cleaning your bellend prevent pube displacement in your pants?Ian Volante wrote:Sounds like you need to clean your bell-end more often if rogue pubes are a regular problem.
That was Gev, not me.Mark James wrote:I agree with Jon though that sometimes it can go through the gap
What? How would cleaning your bellend prevent pube displacement in your pants?Jon Corby wrote:Ian Volante wrote:Sounds like you need to clean your bell-end more often if rogue pubes are a regular problem.
The thing about the piss flow is more than about effort though. Once it's flowing properly you know it's going to empty. But if you're constantly having to put the effort in yourself then you don't get the satisfactory end point and it might not empty properly.Mark Deeks wrote:You're obsessed by the effort thing, aren't you? I'm going to film myself pulling down my trousers and sitting down just to show you how easy it is.
Mission accomplished.Matt Morrison wrote:A-lolled in the office at Mark pissing up his nose.
I exaggerated the frequency of the event for comedic purposes. It might have happened maybe twice.Ian Volante wrote:Sounds like you need to clean your bell-end more often if rogue pubes are a regular problem.
So it was. I actually meant Jon O'Neill anyway as I thought he had said it.Jon Corby wrote:That was Gev, not me.
A further age problem is that an enlarged prostate reduces the flow from a jet to a trickle.Ian Volante wrote:I'm now worried that my willy's going to wither awayPeter Mabey wrote:.. and in the 80's natural shrinkage leaves no alternative.
Similarly coincidental, I was given a link to this by someone on my facebook page who I'm sure is totally unaware of this converstaion.Gavin Chipper wrote:Maybe I should put this in the coincidences thread but I'm at a friend's in the Netherlands and I've just gone upstairs for a piss because the seat on the downstairs toilet doesn't stay up.
I might have exaggerated my opprobrium at the cleanliness of your herman gelmetMark James wrote:I exaggerated the frequency of the event for comedic purposes. It might have happened maybe twice.Ian Volante wrote:Sounds like you need to clean your bell-end more often if rogue pubes are a regular problem.
A pint is a lot. That's not a normal piss. Plus it's not that unhygienic.Jon Corby wrote:Guys. You've got a pint, maybe a pint and a half, of some smelly yellow unhygienic liquid that you need to dispose of down the toilet. Are you going to pour it from a few feet above the toilet, where it could spill, splash etc, or are you going to make sure it all goes in with no splashing?
So when you're pouring waste liquid away, you do it in a carefree manner some distance from the waste receptacle to allow for mishaps? Or did you just deliberately avoid answering the key part of the question?Gavin Chipper wrote:A pint is a lot. That's not a normal piss. Plus it's not that unhygienic.Jon Corby wrote:Guys. You've got a pint, maybe a pint and a half, of some smelly yellow unhygienic liquid that you need to dispose of down the toilet. Are you going to pour it from a few feet above the toilet, where it could spill, splash etc, or are you going to make sure it all goes in with no splashing?
The second part didn't apply because there is no pint or pint and a half of some smelly yellow unhygienic liquid. If a tiny bit misses it's not the end of the world. Whereas being sentenced to sit down for a piss for ever more would be.Jon Corby wrote:So when you're pouring waste liquid away, you do it in a carefree manner some distance from the waste receptacle to allow for mishaps? Or did you just deliberately avoid answering the key part of the question?Gavin Chipper wrote:A pint is a lot. That's not a normal piss. Plus it's not that unhygienic.Jon Corby wrote:Guys. You've got a pint, maybe a pint and a half, of some smelly yellow unhygienic liquid that you need to dispose of down the toilet. Are you going to pour it from a few feet above the toilet, where it could spill, splash etc, or are you going to make sure it all goes in with no splashing?
The state of most public toilets suggests otherwise. For most people I mean, not necessarily you. Although you might actually be exhibiting the toilet-equivalent of the Dunning-Kruger effect - which I might coin the Dunny-Kruger effect from this point forward - which is probably to blame for the problem in the first place.Jon O'Neill wrote:I don't think aiming your piss from the height of about 2 feet into a large target is difficult at all. I could probably get it in from one side of the room to the other, although I might miss a bit at the end.
Why is that so much easier sitting down? I've done that before standing up, and it's, er, a piece of piss.Mark Deeks wrote:I read the other day that the best way to keep your continence when you're old is to, when you're young and/or middle aged, consciously stop yourself midstream a few times every time. It toughens up the prostate muscle and gives you a better chance of holding it in down the road.
This is way easier to do sitting down. So add yet another stunner to the infallible list of reasons why sitting down is the way to go.
Right, well, time for me to swallow a little pride here. I was sitting down to wee on Becky's loo the other day, without using a guiding hand because I was doing a book of arrowwords, and somehow wazzed all over the floor. It honestly defies physics how this happened, but it happened, and thus I am forced to back down unreservedly. I somehow missed from zero feet. I feel like less of a man now.Mark Deeks wrote:Again, you can't miss when you're sitting down. You'd be a ruddy fool to miss when standing up, sure, but the risk is nil when seated. Nil. You can only miss if you do so on purpose. Even if you're drunk or high, as I know you often are.
So you'll be standing up from now on?Mark Deeks wrote:Right, well, time for me to swallow a little pride here. I was sitting down to wee on Becky's loo the other day, without using a guiding hand because I was doing a book of arrowwords, and somehow wazzed all over the floor. It honestly defies physics how this happened, but it happened, and thus I am forced to back down unreservedly. I somehow missed from zero feet. I feel like less of a man now.Mark Deeks wrote:Again, you can't miss when you're sitting down. You'd be a ruddy fool to miss when standing up, sure, but the risk is nil when seated. Nil. You can only miss if you do so on purpose. Even if you're drunk or high, as I know you often are.
Not necessarily piss material, but there's other books for you to be reading...Mark Deeks wrote:No, I'm still fat and lazy. I'll just have to retire from arrowords.
Alright then.Mark Deeks wrote:Would you be OK with me sitting down to wee as long as I'm reading your book in the process, then?
It's quite possible indeed, I should know. All it takes is a particular small penis on a small day, the gap between seat and porcelain is quite gettable if your willy is aiming almost directly horizontally.Mark Deeks wrote:I was sitting down to wee on Becky's loo the other day, without using a guiding hand because I was doing a book of arrowwords, and somehow wazzed all over the floor. It honestly defies physics how this happened, but it happened
How long are you sitting down for for these pisses? The average piss lasts less than 30 seconds. How much restfulness can you gain from 30 seconds of sitting? Not enough to overcome the squatting down and up, surely.Matt Morrison wrote:Sitting down is more restful than standing up. Standing up is more restful than squatting up and down.
The sitting down lasts longer and makes more of an effect to the overall restfulness than the squatting bit does, hence overall sitting is more lazy/relaxing than standing.
You mean you don't meditate while pissing?Jon O'Neill wrote:How long are you sitting down for for these pisses? The average piss lasts less than 30 seconds. How much restfulness can you gain from 30 seconds of sitting? Not enough to overcome the squatting down and up, surely.Matt Morrison wrote:Sitting down is more restful than standing up. Standing up is more restful than squatting up and down.
The sitting down lasts longer and makes more of an effect to the overall restfulness than the squatting bit does, hence overall sitting is more lazy/relaxing than standing.
If you're sitting there for a few minutes then fine. But if that's the case you might as well go for a 30 second piss standing up, then spend the time you've saved relaxing properly with some meditation.
Gavin Chipper wrote:Less effort? I would argue that the effort involved in pulling your trousers and pants down (and up again afterwards), moving into the sitting position and having to stand up again at the end is far more effort than simply standing throughout. And anyway I fundamentally disagree with the premise that standing for a few seconds is "effort".
So?Gavin Chipper wrote:I think I've already made the point that it's more effort to sit down for a piss than to stand up.
Edit:Gavin Chipper wrote:Less effort? I would argue that the effort involved in pulling your trousers and pants down (and up again afterwards), moving into the sitting position and having to stand up again at the end is far more effort than simply standing throughout. And anyway I fundamentally disagree with the premise that standing for a few seconds is "effort".
Just saying, you cunt. Cos you were all like "Hey, I've just thought - How much restfulness can you gain from 30 seconds of sitting? Not enough to overcome the squatting down and up, surely."Jon O'Neill wrote:So?Gavin Chipper wrote:I think I've already made the point that it's more effort to sit down for a piss than to stand up.
Edit:Gavin Chipper wrote:Less effort? I would argue that the effort involved in pulling your trousers and pants down (and up again afterwards), moving into the sitting position and having to stand up again at the end is far more effort than simply standing throughout. And anyway I fundamentally disagree with the premise that standing for a few seconds is "effort".
You tedious prick.Gavin Chipper wrote:Just saying, you cunt. Cos you were all like "Hey, I've just thought - How much restfulness can you gain from 30 seconds of sitting? Not enough to overcome the squatting down and up, surely."Jon O'Neill wrote:So?Gavin Chipper wrote:I think I've already made the point that it's more effort to sit down for a piss than to stand up.
Bit weird.Jon Corby wrote:If I play a game on my phone/read or something, I'll pee twice within the three or four minutes that I'm sat there. I don't think this is normal or healthy though.
It's possibly because you subconsciously cut off the piss midflow and before its natural end, because at the back of your mind you know that you need a bit more time to finish reading or playing whatever it is you're reading or playing. Then once that distraction's out of the way, the urge will naturally return to finish the piss. It's really two halves of the same piss, broken by a combination of mental and pelvic muscle control.Jon Corby wrote:If I play a game on my phone/read or something, I'll pee twice within the three or four minutes that I'm sat there. I don't think this is normal or healthy though.
You odious cock.Jon O'Neill wrote: You tedious prick.
This gives the impression you're peeing up into the air and allowing gravity to take its toll.David Barnard wrote:use gravity to guide it into the bowl