How to make darts better
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How to make darts better
Let's face it, darts is pretty shit. Post your ideas here for how to improve it.
1. The dartboard should rotate, powered by an exercise bike ridden by the player not at the oche. The faster he pedals, the faster the board spins, making it harder to hit boring treble 20 after boring treble 20. Would also help the fat cunts lose some weight.
1. The dartboard should rotate, powered by an exercise bike ridden by the player not at the oche. The faster he pedals, the faster the board spins, making it harder to hit boring treble 20 after boring treble 20. Would also help the fat cunts lose some weight.
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Re: How to make darts better
Nothing for two in a bed.
Re: How to make darts better
darts would be better if common people weren't allowed to play it and it went back to being the preserve of the gentleman (also, no blacks)
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Re: How to make darts better
You wouldn't see Barney playing darts.
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Re: How to make darts better
Actually in stitches!Jon Corby wrote: 1. The dartboard should rotate, powered by an exercise bike ridden by the player not at the oche. The faster he pedals, the faster the board spins, making it harder to hit boring treble 20 after boring treble 20. Would also help the fat cunts lose some weight.
FUCK DARTS!
Last edited by Ryan Taylor on Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: How to make darts better
I remember seeing a darts match once with a huge dartboard with a scantily clad piece of blart tied to it, and the guy was blindfolded. That was pretty good, they should bring that rule back.
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Re: How to make darts better
Did you ever see Stone Age Topless Darts? It was on some obscure Sky channel a few years back. They should bring that back as well. Everyone loves a healthy pair of boobs and Barney certainly has those.Jon Corby wrote:I remember seeing a darts match once with a huge dartboard with a scantily clad piece of blart tied to it, and the guy was blindfolded. That was pretty good, they should bring that rule back.
Re: How to make darts better
Ah, L!ve TV, I remember it well. Tiffany's Big City Tips, The Weather in Norwegian with er... Anna someone... shit I forgot her name. Anne-Marie Foss? Or is that someone else?Charlie Reams wrote:Did you ever see Stone Age Topless Darts? It was on some obscure Sky channel a few years back. They should bring that back as well. Everyone loves a healthy pair of boobs and Barney certainly has those.Jon Corby wrote:I remember seeing a darts match once with a huge dartboard with a scantily clad piece of blart tied to it, and the guy was blindfolded. That was pretty good, they should bring that rule back.
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Re: How to make darts better
If you're nearer the board than your opponent your score does not count.
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Re: How to make darts better
Time to bring in a circular (arced) oche then?David Williams wrote:If you're nearer the board than your opponent your score does not count.
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Re: How to make darts better
If I recall correctly, Anne-Marie Foss was one of the occasional presenters on late night show "The Big E" - a ridiculous magazine show about European culture which was on ITV in the early '90s about 1 a.m. on Sunday morning. "The Big E" must have had zero budget; they would frequently make articles just by dragging foreign students off the streets of London and playing ridiculous games with them. It got slightly better when it turned into a general music/entertainment show, and dropped the European theme.
But yeh, google suggests Jon is right - Foss was also one of the kit-off models/actresses who presented the weather on L!ve TV.
But yeh, google suggests Jon is right - Foss was also one of the kit-off models/actresses who presented the weather on L!ve TV.
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Re: How to make darts better
Why not take the prick off the end of the darts and have a robot throw them instead?
Re: How to make darts better
Some of the sports channels were a bit desperate for something to cover, as well. I remember two of them simultaneously showing rival 10-pin bowling competitions. Worse than darts.
Re: How to make darts better
Having thought about it a bit more this was probably a bit simplistic, and I apologise for that. I've decided that there should also be pistons going up and down either side of the rotating dartboard, puffing out steam, and when a certain speed is met a big train whistle also blows.Jon Corby wrote:Let's face it, darts is pretty shit. Post your ideas here for how to improve it.
1. The dartboard should rotate, powered by an exercise bike ridden by the player not at the oche. The faster he pedals, the faster the board spins, making it harder to hit boring treble 20 after boring treble 20. Would also help the fat cunts lose some weight.
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Re: How to make darts better
Bring on the quadruple bed, between the treble and the bullseye.
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Re: How to make darts better
Replace the numbers with letters so you can play Countdown.
Ideas for positions of letters please.
Ideas for positions of letters please.
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Re: How to make darts better
There are 20 numbers, so get rid of the 6 worst letters, so bye bye J, Q, V, W, X, Z.Marc Meakin wrote:Replace the numbers with letters so you can play Countdown.
Ideas for positions of letters please.
Then A=1, B=2, C=3, etc., all the way up to Y for 20.
And if you hit doubles or trebles, then 2 or 3 of that letter would be in play.
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Re: How to make darts better
For a bull, you could choose any letter (including JQVWX or Z)
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Re: How to make darts better
It might work better if every 'segment' represented a letter.
I think that there are 82 segments so you can duplicate the most common letters several times.
I think that there are 82 segments so you can duplicate the most common letters several times.
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Re: How to make darts better
Outer bull you choose 1 letter, inner bull 2.Peter Mabey wrote:For a bull, you could choose any letter (including JQVWX or Z)
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Re: How to make darts better
Can't they just make the board and the darts loads bigger? The poor bastards in the audience have such a hard time seeing what's going on that they seem to turn to drink and loutish behaviour. I reckon if you used one of them archery boards and some javelins that would be much better. And more civilised all round.
Oh yeah, and stop having big competitions at the Circus Tavern, Purfleet, Essex. That's a strip joint.
Oh yeah, and stop having big competitions at the Circus Tavern, Purfleet, Essex. That's a strip joint.
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Re: How to make darts better
Put the board on the ceiling.
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Re: How to make darts better
They have tried playing at a convent before, but we all know it ended in tragedy.Heather Badcock wrote:Can't they just make the board and the darts loads bigger? The poor bastards in the audience have such a hard time seeing what's going on that they seem to turn to drink and loutish behaviour. I reckon if you used one of them archery boards and some javelins that would be much better. And more civilised all round.
Oh yeah, and stop having big competitions at the Circus Tavern, Purfleet, Essex. That's a strip joint.
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Re: How to make darts better
Allow blow.Marc Meakin wrote:Allow blowpipes.
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Re: How to make darts better
It's been compared before...who will win? Place your bets now please.Heather Badcock wrote:Can't they just make the board and the darts loads bigger? The poor bastards in the audience have such a hard time seeing what's going on that they seem to turn to drink and loutish behaviour. I reckon if you used one of them archery boards and some javelins that would be much better. And more civilised all round.
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Re: How to make darts better
Man, archery is always super-impressive (to me, at least). Boring, but impressive. (Plus archers usually look totally badass.)Kirk Bevins wrote:It's been compared before...who will win? Place your bets now please.
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Re: How to make darts better
Why? Just pull your bowstrings back and fire - there's very little that can go wrong. It's like clay pigeon shooting - look at your target and fire - i hit 12 out of 12 clay pigeons and I'd never picked up a gun of any description before. Surely it's similar to that when you're using a firing aid (i.e. elastic) rather than just your arm muscles (darts)?Michael Wallace wrote:Man, archery is always super-impressive (to me, at least). Boring, but impressive. (Plus archers usually look totally badass.)Kirk Bevins wrote:It's been compared before...who will win? Place your bets now please.
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Re: How to make darts better
Hitting a target 70m away fills me with a little more awe than one 2.5m away. The first time I played darts I didn't miss the board, I can't imagine I'd have similar success at archery. Also, archery looks badass.Kirk Bevins wrote:Why?
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Re: How to make darts better
I dunno what range/speed/conditions you were shooting under, but they must've been pretty favourable. It would hardly be an Olympic sport if everyone could get a "max game" on their first attempt.Kirk Bevins wrote:It's like clay pigeon shooting - look at your target and fire - i hit 12 out of 12 clay pigeons and I'd never picked up a gun of any description before.
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Re: How to make darts better
Throw all three darts at one time.
Get the person you hate the most to be the dartboard.
Double your score if you throw trick shots.
Play it in a public park and let small children have a go.
And finally... Play with some light!
Get the person you hate the most to be the dartboard.
Double your score if you throw trick shots.
Play it in a public park and let small children have a go.
And finally... Play with some light!
Re: How to make darts better
You're supposed to wait until they've been fired out of the traps, dummy.Kirk Bevins wrote:i hit 12 out of 12 clay pigeons and I'd never picked up a gun of any description before.
Archers also have wind to contend with, and not in the same way that fat fuck darts players do.
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Re: How to make darts better
Maybe I could be the world's best at clay pigeon shooting and I don't know it. Damn.Charlie Reams wrote: I dunno what range/speed/conditions you were shooting under, but they must've been pretty favourable. It would hardly be an Olympic sport if everyone could get a "max game" on their first attempt.
Also, nobody else got a max game. Everyone in the youth club had a go and I was the only one who got anywhere near perfect.
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Re: How to make darts better
Jon Corby wrote: Archers also have wind to contend with, and not in the same way that fat fuck darts players do.
Archers also have wind to contend with, and not in the same way that fat fuck darts players do.
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Re: How to make darts better
So nobody else got a max game, which contradicts your original point that it's easy.Kirk Bevins wrote:Maybe I could be the world's best at clay pigeon shooting and I don't know it. Damn.Charlie Reams wrote: I dunno what range/speed/conditions you were shooting under, but they must've been pretty favourable. It would hardly be an Olympic sport if everyone could get a "max game" on their first attempt.
Also, nobody else got a max game. Everyone in the youth club had a go and I was the only one who got anywhere near perfect.
Re: How to make darts better
Hahaha, brilliant. A link to somebody crying about air conditioning (were they turning it off while his opponent threw, and then back on for him?) and then a link to what is presumably two darts players that you fancy.Kirk Bevins wrote:Jon Corby wrote: Archers also have wind to contend with, and not in the same way that fat fuck darts players do.
Archers also have wind to contend with, and not in the same way that fat fuck darts players do.
Re: How to make darts better
It's easy for darts players, because THEY'RE SUPER-AWESOME.Charlie Reams wrote:So nobody else got a max game, which contradicts your original point that it's easy.Kirk Bevins wrote:Maybe I could be the world's best at clay pigeon shooting and I don't know it. Damn.Charlie Reams wrote: I dunno what range/speed/conditions you were shooting under, but they must've been pretty favourable. It would hardly be an Olympic sport if everyone could get a "max game" on their first attempt.
Also, nobody else got a max game. Everyone in the youth club had a go and I was the only one who got anywhere near perfect.
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Re: How to make darts better
You know what Corby? You're a cunt.Jon Corby wrote: Hahaha, brilliant. A link to somebody crying about air conditioning (were they turning it off while his opponent threw, and then back on for him?) and then a link to what is presumably two darts players that you fancy.
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Re: How to make darts better
Kirk Bevins wrote: You know what Corby? You're a cunt.
Kirk Bevins wrote:you've just resulted to pathetic childish insults.
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Re: How to make darts better
I don't class 'cunt' as a pathetic childish insult.Charlie Reams wrote:Kirk Bevins wrote:you've just resulted to pathetic childish insults.
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Re: How to make darts better
Fair enough, you cunt.Kirk Bevins wrote:I don't class 'cunt' as a pathetic childish insult.Charlie Reams wrote:Kirk Bevins wrote:you've just resulted to pathetic childish insults.
Re: How to make darts better
What?Kirk Bevins wrote:You know what Corby? You're a cunt.Jon Corby wrote: Hahaha, brilliant. A link to somebody crying about air conditioning (were they turning it off while his opponent threw, and then back on for him?) and then a link to what is presumably two darts players that you fancy.
How is that article a rebuttal to the claim that archers have to compensate for wind?
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Re: How to make darts better
What the hell?! I think everyone knows that given a fair, unbiased sample of people, 2/3 will prefer to watch tenpin bowling over darts!David Roe wrote:Some of the sports channels were a bit desperate for something to cover, as well. I remember two of them simultaneously showing rival 10-pin bowling competitions. Worse than darts.
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Re: How to make darts better
I think it's quite clear that whoever invented darts messed his numbers up. He meant for the bullseye to be the best but didn't realise that all the trebles from 17 beat it. What a cunt.
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Re: How to make darts better
Darts Monopoly - each segment corresponds to a property, which you land on by hitting it (so you can then buy it if you want). Once you own a 'set' (both segments in a number, I guess) you can earn the right to buy houses/hotels by hitting the double/triple. You can make certain segments chance/community chest, and maybe make the outer bull go to jail and bullseye something cool (free parking maybe, if you play by the rule that fines have to go on free parking).
The result would be a game that is better than both darts and Monopoly, I'm sure you'd agree.
The result would be a game that is better than both darts and Monopoly, I'm sure you'd agree.
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Re: How to make darts better
Genuinely cool idea.Michael Wallace wrote:Darts Monopoly - each segment corresponds to a property, which you land on by hitting it (so you can then buy it if you want). Once you own a 'set' (both segments in a number, I guess) you can earn the right to buy houses/hotels by hitting the double/triple. You can make certain segments chance/community chest, and maybe make the outer bull go to jail and bullseye something cool (free parking maybe, if you play by the rule that fines have to go on free parking).
The result would be a game that is better than both darts and Monopoly, I'm sure you'd agree.
Re: How to make darts better
Ban attractive women, apparently.
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Re: How to make darts better
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/darts/65003070
Couldn't find a darts thread.
But mixed darts could be cool
Couldn't find a darts thread.
But mixed darts could be cool
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Re: How to make darts better
Could be? Women have played in open tournaments for years.Marc Meakin wrote: ↑Sun Mar 19, 2023 7:21 pm https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/darts/65003070
Couldn't find a darts thread.
But mixed darts could be cool
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles
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Re: How to make darts better
I meant mean and Women in mixed pairsIan Volante wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2023 11:43 amCould be? Women have played in open tournaments for years.Marc Meakin wrote: ↑Sun Mar 19, 2023 7:21 pm https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/darts/65003070
Couldn't find a darts thread.
But mixed darts could be cool
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Re: How to make darts better
I see there was a mixed triples event recently. I'm sure pairs has been done in the past too, could be more formalised I suppose.
meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles meles