Apterous World Cup - Knockout Stage

[Matt Morrison]

See Apterous World Cup - Team Assignations & Group Stages for more information about the structure of the tournament and how to play.
See Apterous World Cup - Group Stages - Fixtures & Results for the scores of completed matches for the group stages.
See Apterous World Cup - Group Stages - League Tables for the league tables for the groups.

Had to resist the urge to call this Knockout Stages (plural) after checking official FIFA title. Probably made a mistake calling the Group Stage the Group Stages too.
Teams filled in as and when all matches for their group stage have been completed.

CRACK ON PEOPLE! Best of luck.
COMPLETE ONE STAGE AT A TIME PLEASE! (Including the 3rd place playoff; the final should be arranged in advanced for a spectatable time.)


How To Play - Knockout Stage

The 90 minutes regular time remains LLNLLLN for all matches.
Pick Apterous World Cup in the custom game menu.

A draw will lead to extra time of LNLN. If still equal after that, penalties will be in the form of 5 conundrums. The sudden death 6th-and-onwards conundrum(s) will settle it if still tied.
Charlie has quite wonderfully automated these additional rounds, so the Apterous World Cup custom game you start will automatically extend into extra time, and then subsequently into penundrums, if appropriate, without you needing to do anything or start more games.


Round of 16

1. Mexico (Ben Wilson) 3 - 5 Argentina (Oliver Garner)
2. USA (Charlie Reams) 4 - 7 Serbia (Hugh Binnie)
3. Netherlands (James Robinson) 7 - 5 Slovakia (Tom Rowell)
4. Brazil (Kirk Bevins) 7 - 4 Switzerland (Liam Tiernan)
5. Greece (Jon O'Neill) 6 - 4 Uruguay (Ryan Taylor)
6. Germany (Stuart Arnot) 6 - 7 England (Eoin Monaghan)
7. Italy (Edward McCullagh) 10 - 9 (AET) Cameroon (Scott Gillies)
8. Spain (Innis Carson) 4 - 7 Portugal (Dinos Sfyris)

Quarter Finals

1. Argentina (Oliver Garner) 6 - 7 Serbia (Hugh Binnie)
2. Netherlands (James Robinson) 5 - 7 Brazil (Kirk Bevins)
3. Greece (Jon O'Neill) 4 - 7 England (Eoin Monaghan)
4. Italy (Edward McCullagh) 7 - 5 Portugal (Dinos Sfyris)

Semi Finals

1. Serbia (Hugh Binnie) 10 - 10 (AET) (1 - 4 Pens) Brazil (Kirk Bevins)
2. England (Eoin Monaghan) 5 - 6 Italy (Edward McCullagh)

Third Place Play-Off
Serbia (Hugh Binnie) 4 - 5 England (Eoin Monaghan)


Apterous World Cup FINAL
Brazil (Kirk Bevins) 7 - 6 Italy (Edward McCullagh)

[Charlie Reams]

A draw (as before, judged after 7 rounds, not including apterous-enforced tie break conundrum) will lead to extra time of LLNL.

Sorry to be that annoying person who criticises everything, but wouldn't it be fairer to have an even number of numbers rounds? Something like LNLN?

[Marc Meakin]

A draw (as before, judged after 7 rounds, not including apterous-enforced tie break conundrum) will lead to extra time of LLNL.

Sorry to be that annoying person who criticises everything, but wouldn't it be fairer to have an even number of numbers rounds? Something like LNLN?

Well it's good enough for Countdown.

[Matt Morrison]

A draw (as before, judged after 7 rounds, not including apterous-enforced tie break conundrum) will lead to extra time of LLNL.

Sorry to be that annoying person who criticises everything, but wouldn't it be fairer to have an even number of numbers rounds? Something like LNLN?

Would you have liked 3/7 numbers for the main games as well? (I've rewritten that question twice and it still sounds unintentionally sarcastic!)

I dunno, it had nothing to do with the Countdown format as Meakin suggests, it was based on me believing there's more likely to be variation in letters rounds than in numbers rounds.
I'm perfectly happy to listen to suggestions - I imagine it'll be a couple of days before the knockout stage starts, so we'll see what everyone else says below me...

[Kirk Bevins]

LLNL sounds good to me as you don't have an equal number of letters and numbers rounds in the first 7 rounds do you?

[Charlie Reams]

LLNL sounds good to me as you don't have an equal number of letters and numbers rounds in the first 7 rounds do you?

You both get one numbers round. The letters rounds are unequal but that's a minor deal IMO.

[Matt Morrison]

LLNL sounds good to me as you don't have an equal number of letters and numbers rounds in the first 7 rounds do you?

You both get one numbers round. The letters rounds are unequal but that's a minor deal IMO.

I see where you are coming from, but isn't that again just a luck of the draw thing as to who gets to pick the single numbers round? There's no way of predicting before you start the match who will get it (unless I'm mistaken). I am guessing that this 'randomness' is precisely what you don't like tho (based on not liking Lloyd's taking turns penalty idea).

[Jon O'Neill]

LLNL sounds good to me as you don't have an equal number of letters and numbers rounds in the first 7 rounds do you?

You both get one numbers round. The letters rounds are unequal but that's a minor deal IMO.

I see where you are coming from, but isn't that again just a luck of the draw thing as to who gets to pick the single numbers round? There's no way of predicting before you start the match who will get it (unless I'm mistaken). I am guessing that this 'randomness' is precisely what you don't like tho (based on not liking Lloyd's taking turns penalty idea).

I don't really see the appeal of this extra time business at all. Just go for the 5 conundrum shootout.

[Lloyd Pettet]

Seems my penalty idea is as popular as the West End

[Charlie Reams]

I see where you are coming from, but isn't that again just a luck of the draw thing as to who gets to pick the single numbers round? There's no way of predicting before you start the match who will get it (unless I'm mistaken).

Sure, but that's not the same as fair. I wouldn't call "toss a coin" fair, even though it's equally likely that either player will win.

I am guessing that this 'randomness' is precisely what you don't like tho (based on not liking Lloyd's taking turns penalty idea).

Nothing wrong with randomness, but randomness is fun when it throws up some unexpected complications that you both have to handle on equal terms, not when it fucks you over for no good reason. If you did LNLN, you could let whichever player didn't pick the final numbers in "normal time" get the final pick in "extra time", so it's about as fair as you can get.

Or Jono's idea.

BTW I've written code so that the game automatically goes to extra time and penalties, no messing about with custom formats. I'll roll it out once the knockout stages start.

[Matt Morrison]

I've written code so that the game automatically goes to extra time and penalties, no messing about with custom formats. I'll roll it out once the knockout stages start.

That's really fucking clever, thanks. Did you write it to do two numbers games or one?

I'm easy, I am. I'll go with what the majority want. There has to be extra time before the penalties though.

[Matt Morrison]

Seems my penalty idea is as popular as the West End

Hahahaha. Classic. Not quite the same though, as one other person (me) liked your penalties idea

[Eoin Monaghan]

Can I mention I am away on the 19th and 20th of this month so if I get through I will be unavailable those days.

[Charlie Reams]

I've written code so that the game automatically goes to extra time and penalties, no messing about with custom formats. I'll roll it out once the knockout stages start.

That's really fucking clever, thanks. Did you write it to do two numbers games or one?

I'll do whatever you decide, it's your tournament.

I'm easy, I am. I'll go with what the majority want. There has to be extra time before the penalties though.

Yeah I like the extra time idea too. It seems to me like you want 4 rounds and there's 4 types of round (L, l, N, n) so it seems obvious to have one of each.

[Matt Morrison]

It's a deal then, bar any massive volume of objections. Thanks again, I'm actually really gagging to see it sorted automatically at a draw, and will make for a wicked format for the future maybe? (Unless you were planning to remove it afterwards.)

[Gavin Chipper]

LLNL sounds good to me as you don't have an equal number of letters and numbers rounds in the first 7 rounds do you?

You both get one numbers round. The letters rounds are unequal but that's a minor deal IMO.

Although I agree with you on the numbers inequality, what about this?

[Charlie Reams]

LLNL sounds good to me as you don't have an equal number of letters and numbers rounds in the first 7 rounds do you?

You both get one numbers round. The letters rounds are unequal but that's a minor deal IMO.

Although I agree with you on the numbers inequality, what about this?

I think all we concluded there is that picking the final numbers is not a major factor over 15 rounds. It's plausible to me that things would be different when you've only got 4 rounds and two of them are numbers. And given that it costs us basically nothing to be fair, we might as well avoid any controversy.

[Liam Tiernan]

Seems my penalty idea is as popular as the West End

Instead of alternate different conundrums, how about if each player in a shootout faces the same conundrum, but in turn, as in a real penalty shootout. For example player 1 faces the first conundrum and misses, player two faces the same conundrum and scores, etc, 5 conundrums followed by sudden death if still level. Could be a real tension builder especially for the later stages which are likely to have a lot of spectators. This would eliminate concerns about inequalities in conundrum difficulty, and level the playing field a bit for those whose typing skills are not the best.

Edit: Now that I think about it, Conundrum Shootout would be a nice idea for a variant.

[Charlie Reams]

This would eliminate concerns about inequalities in conundrum difficulty

No it wouldn't. If I go first on an easy conundrum, and you go first on a hard conundrum, I've got a much better chance of winning overall.

[Hugh Binnie]

This would eliminate concerns about inequalities in conundrum difficulty

No it wouldn't. If I go first on an easy conundrum, and you go first on a hard conundrum, I've got a much better chance of winning overall.

I think Liam's suggesting that the conundrum would be hidden from player 2 while player 1 has his 30 seconds (or however long), then player 2 gets 30 seconds to see the conundrum and solve it, so each player would get 30 seconds to solve the conundrum.

[Matt Morrison]

This would eliminate concerns about inequalities in conundrum difficulty

No it wouldn't. If I go first on an easy conundrum, and you go first on a hard conundrum, I've got a much better chance of winning overall.

I think Liam's suggesting that the conundrum would be hidden from player 2 while player 1 has his 30 seconds (or however long), then player 2 gets 30 seconds to see the conundrum and solve it, so each player would get 30 seconds to solve the conundrum.

Ah, ok, yes that makes sense (I was wondering WTF with Charlie there for a while). So whoever answers the same conundrum fastest gets the goal.
Nice idea but would be lots of programming for Charlie to make conundrums work in a different fashion to usual (I'd imagine), especially for something that might not get used again until 2014.

[Charlie Reams]

Ah, ok, yes that makes sense (I was wondering WTF with Charlie there for a while). So whoever answers the same conundrum fastest gets the goal.
Nice idea but would be lots of programming for Charlie to make conundrums work in a different fashion to usual (I'd imagine), especially for something that might not get used again until 2014.

Gotcha. But yeah, anything that involves changing the basic logic of conundrums is a non-starter, that was a nightmare to write the first time.

[Liam Tiernan]

So whoever answers the same conundrum fastest gets the goal.

No, if both players get it its a goal each, just like a regular penalty shootout.

[James Robinson]

Quarter Finals

1. Winners 1 - Winners 2
2. Winners 3 - Winners 5
3. Winners 5 - Winners 6
4. Winners 7 - Winners 8

So, the winners of the 4th Second Round game are going to feel a bit short-changed, methinks.

[Charlie Reams]

USA (Reams) 4 - 7 Serbia (Binnie)

Having won their group, the USA might've asked for a softer opponent, but no such luck. The teams stayed head-to-head in the first half, but the USA took a BEATING at the opening of the second. Forced to push forward, they made another error immediately to give Serbia a convincing lead. Serbia then wrapped up a convincing win with a beautiful piece of skill in the final minute. Could they be the dark horse for the tournament?

[Liam Tiernan]

Brazil 7-4 Switzerland: http://www.apterous.org/viewgame.php?game=256619
With all group matches now complete the picture is now a little clearer. 100/1 outsiders Switzerland faced the pre-tournament favourites Brazil in the first of the second stage matches. With the early honours even the boys from Brazil drew first blood, opting to take the safer route to goal, while the Swiss set themselves an impossible target. Early in the second half the Samba Kings managed to OUTSCORE their opponents, leaving the Swiss with a mountain to climb. Further defensive errors only widened the margin, with the Brazilians coasting to victory.

[Edward McCullagh]

CORRUPT ITALIAN SCUMBAGS EDGE THROUGH AGAINST INDOMITABLE LIONS

Edward McCullagh 10-9 Scott Gillies AET http://apterous.org/viewgame.php?key=-7 ... 0934212217

The dirty, much-hated Italians were fortuitous in victory against the valiant resistance of Cameroon. Daniele De Rossi provided a quality finish from outside the box in the 23rd minute after good play from Gennaro Gattuso to give Italy an early lead but that lead was short-lived as the Cameroonian talisman Samuel Eto'o produced a fine solo effort to level the scores shortly after.

The teams cancelled each other out for the rest of the game as the second half turned into a tight affair with neither side giving away much due to the importance of the fixture and so the match went into extra time.

The Cameroon players started to tire and feel the tension in extra time, and it showed when substitute Alessandro Del Piero popped up with a headed winner in extra time. Despite a late chance to equalize, the Cameroonians couldn't do so and the relief was plain to see in the faces of the Italian players as the final whistle sounded after extra time.

Though how the Italians will feel about facing the Spaniards under the stylish management of Ines Carson, or the flair and guile of Portugal under the leadership of Dinos Sfyris was not something Italian manager Eduardo Mccullardo wanted to comment on. When asked about their possible quarter-final opponents, he commented "Mamma Mia! CAZZO!!" and proceeded to cry into his post-match ciabatta and pasta.

[Ben Wilson]

Argarnertina 5-3 Mexico

Alas the mighty Mexican warriors, after a good start seeking to OUTFOX their Latin American rivals, spent the entire second half of the game repeatedly running into each other and tripping over their own bootlaces before finally all falling asleep on a lilo in the centre circle. If you'll excuse me now, I need to find a mariachi band who can play the last post...

[Ryan Taylor]

Argarnertina 5-3 Mexico

Alas the mighty Mexican warriors, after a good start seeking to OUTFOX their Latin American rivals, spent the entire second half of the game repeatedly running into each other and tripping over their own bootlaces before finally all falling asleep on a lilo in the centre circle. If you'll excuse me now, I need to find a mariachi band who can play the last post...

Blame it on the sombrero.

[James Robinson]

DUTCH DELIGHT AS KIRKINHO & CO. AWAIT IN THE QUARTERS!

Tom Rowell (Slovakia) 5 - 7 James Robinson (Netherlands)

A very hard fought second round match took place today, where Group E winners Netherlands, managed James Van Der Robinson, took on Group F runners-up Slovakia, managed by Tomas Rowellsko.

Even though the Netherlands were probably the slight favourites, their form was a bit indifferent and were low on confidence, so an upset was definitely on the cards.

Early on the 2 teams matched each other, with matching word and number solutions, but then in the 5th period, the slimy French ESCARGOT caught the Slovakians cold, and then the game was put to bed by STUPID Arjen Robben's blaster.

After the match, manager Van Der Robinson was asked what he thought his upcoming quarter-final against Kirkinho's Brazil. He said "This match is the one that most countries dream of, but for me and my team, they are just another country, who play word football, although we will definitely give them a good stuffing".

Shortly after this interview, it was revealed that Mr. Van Der Robinson was found in his hotel smoking cannabis and stuffing himself on Edam cheese while dancing in clogs.

[Charlie Reams]

DUTCH DELIGHT AS KIRKINHO & CO. AWAIT IN THE QUARTERS!

Tom Rowell (Slovakia) 5 - 7 James Robinson (Netherlands)

A very hard fought second round match took place today, where Group E winners Netherlands, managed James Van Der Robinson, took on Group F runners-up Slovakia, managed by Tomas Rowellsko.

Even though the Netherlands were probably the slight favourites, their form was a bit indifferent and were low on confidence, so an upset was definitely on the cards.

Early on the 2 teams matched each other, with matching word and number solutions, but then in the 5th period, the slimy French ESCARGOT caught the Slovakians cold, and then the game was put to bed by STUPID Arjen Robben's blaster.

After the match, manager Van Der Robinson was asked what he thought his upcoming quarter-final against Kirkinho's Brazil. He said "This match is the one that most countries dream of, but for me and my team, they are just another country, who play word football, although we will definitely give them a good stuffing".

Shortly after this interview, it was revealed that Mr. Van Der Robinson was found in his hotel smoking cannabis and stuffing himself on Edam cheese while dancing in clogs.

Hahaha Kirkinho. Excellent.

[Dinos Sfyris]

Portugal topple mighty tournament favourites Spain 7 - 4

The tournament upsets keep on coming with Cristidino Ronaldo and chums knocking out Inès Carsonito's Spaniard Euro Champions. After their group stage debacle the Portuguese took an unexpected early lead with the Spanish drink MOJITO (Ay! Que ironica!) but the almighty Spain managed to keep in touch right until to the end when Ronaldo broke away with a further 2 goals improving their chances of lifting the TROPHY!

When asked how Cristidino intends to celebrate his victory he answered

"Mr Innis has such a beautiful face. I go dive on him now."

Portugal march on to face Eduardo McCullardo's Italy in the quarters.

[Eoin Monaghan]

Portugal topple mighty tournament favourites Spain 7 - 4

The tournament upsets keep on coming with Cristidino Ronaldo and chums knocking out Inès Carsonito's Spaniard Euro Champions. After their group stage debacle the Portuguese took an unexpected early lead with the Spanish drink MOJITO (Ay! Que ironica!) but the almighty Spain managed to keep in touch right until to the end when Ronaldo broke away with a further 2 goals improving their chances of lifting the TROPHY!

When asked how Cristidino intends to celebrate his victory he answered

"Mr Innis has such a beautiful face. I go dive on him now."

Portugal march on to face Eduardo McCullardo's Italy in the semis.

Quarters you mean?

[Dinos Sfyris]

Yeppo

[Matt Morrison]

It's a game of seven or more rounds.

[Eoin Monaghan]

THE SUN Page 3: Tssch, we can't count that far.


ENGLAND BEAT GERMANY
NO, IT ISN'T WORLD WAR 2

http://www.apterous.org/viewgame.php?ke ... 4890874667

England beat the extremely impressive Germany in a tense game after John Terry scored. Then the game started.

Wayne Rooney got the winner with a good finish and later said the "Fans were great." Manger, Sir Owen Monaghanson-Tottington said after the game "We played great and the guy came back in the changing rooms and congratulated us."

England will now face the dark horse U are Gay or the John Travolta team in the quarter finals. I assure no tears.

[Matt Morrison]

QUARTER FINALS TIME!!

Also, Jono and Ryan are both Uruguay for not declaring their result.

[Eoin Monaghan]

Jon, I don't really do set times as such but since I am off for holidays for two months I will be free. Anytime at all suits me.

[Jon O'Neill]

QUARTER FINALS TIME!!
Also, Jono and Ryan are both Uruguay for not declaring their result.

Shit man, sorry.

Jon, I don't really do set times as such but since I am off for holidays for two months I will be free. Anytime at all suits me.

How about tomorrow between 1 and 2?

[Eoin Monaghan]

Ok, I'm on now.

[Eoin Monaghan]

ENGLAND THROUGH TO SEMI-FINALS!

Apterous World Cup - Quarter Final - England - 7 - 4 - Greece.
http://apterous.org/viewgame.php?key=83 ... 5508974897

A good all round performance from England was enough to beat the dark horses Greece and head to the semi-finals for only the third time.

The game started even, both players PARADED the goal mouth before a lovely finish from Rooney gave them a slender lead. Two easy finishes left England with a one goal advantage at half time. Rooney grabbed a second and completed his hat-trick leaving the crowd's VOCALS in full flow. Another easy finish gave the Greeks a consolation goal, but England march on to face either Portugal or Italy.

After the game, manger Sir Owen Monaghanson-Tottington said the game was a "Stark improvement from the group - stages."

[Ryan Taylor]

ENGLAND THROUGH TO SEMI-FINALS!

This is the only place we'll be reading that headline this Summer

[Hugh Binnie]

Serbia 7-6 Argentina.

Argentina bowed out after an early grab for glory unfortunately backfired, giving the Serbs a crucial early lead. The Argentines' TECHIEnical play in the middle went unrewarded and when they chose to play it safe shortly afterwards, they missed their last chance to draw level. Speaking after the match, the Sebian manager said his team was lucky to get past their excellent opposition.

[Charlie Reams]

Serbia 7-6 Argentina.

Reams called it!

Could they be the dark horse for the tournament?

[Dinos Sfyris]

Wow unlucky on MELAENA. That would've swung it too

[Kirk Bevins]

Oooohhh if Serbia get to the QFs of the real World Cup then I win £5. If they get to the SFs then I win £15. If they're runner up, £25, and if they win, £50. Let's hope this reflects the real team's efforts.

[Michael Wallace]

Oooohhh if Serbia get to the QFs of the real World Cup then I win £5. If they get to the SFs then I win £15. If they're runner up, £25, and if they win, £50. Let's hope this reflects the real team's efforts.

If they can't make the last 16 at least then they suck - have you got any other teams? My haul was South Africa (lol) New Zealand (lol) Slovenia (looking less lol now) Paraguay (looking quite good) and Netherlands (fuck yeah).

[Kirk Bevins]

Not yet...it's a competition on the deodorant I bought. You get a code, type it in online somewhere and it gives you a team. If that team gets to:
QF = £5
SF = £15
Losing finalist = £25
Winner = £50.

[Andy Wilson]

smells like a scam...

[Michael Wallace]

Not yet...it's a competition on the deodorant I bought. You get a code, type it in online somewhere and it gives you a team. If that team gets to:
QF = £5
SF = £15
Losing finalist = £25
Winner = £50.

Yes, I know... I was asking if you had any other countries, since you're allowed up to 10.

smells like a scam...

It's a suspiciously good offer, but it would be a pretty high profile scam if it was one. Amusingly, if you start off by assuming Betfair gives you reasonable implied probabilities, you can show your expected winnings per can are £2.18, which is a bit silly when they cost less than that to buy in the first place.

(or was that really just an excuse for a joke?)

[Andy Wilson]

(or was that really just an excuse for a joke?)

I know it stank, but thank you for noticing!

[Edward McCullagh]

PORTUGAL UNLUCKY IN DEFEAT AGAINST ON-FORM ITALIANS

http://apterous.org/viewgame.php?key=-2 ... 7093659389

The third Apterous World Cup Quarter Final, between the stylish Portuguese and the pizza-loving Italians, took place today in front of a rapturous crowd of Karen Pearson.

Despite being billed in the lead-up to the game as one of the ties of the round, the match never quite lived up to expectation as errors and some bad decisions cost Cristidino Ronaldo and his team victory, allowing those pasta-loving Italians to sneak into the semi-finals to face Eoin-ger-land.

[Marc Meakin]

PORTUGAL UNLUCKY IN DEFEAT AGAINST ON-FORM ITALIANS

http://apterous.org/viewgame.php?key=-2 ... 7093659389

The third Apterous World Cup Quarter Final, between the stylish Portuguese and the pizza-loving Italians, took place today in front of a rapturous crowd of Karen Pearson.

Despite being billed in the lead-up to the game as one of the ties of the round, the match never quite lived up to expectation as errors and some bad decisions cost Cristidino Ronaldo and his team victory, allowing those pasta-loving Italians to sneak into the semi-finals to face Eoin-ger-land.

Ireland guaranteed a finalist.
This bodes well for the upcoming home internationals.
If it is a good idea that is.

[Matt Morrison]

Great stuff guys. Just one quarter final left, and it's a bit of a fucking monster isn't it?

[Dinos Sfyris]

Just one quarter final left, and it's a bit of a fucking monster isn't it?

That's no way to talk about Robbo

[James Robinson]

Just one quarter final left, and it's a bit of a fucking monster isn't it?

That's no way to talk about Robbo

By the way, if anyone's interested, the 4th quarter-final between Netherlands and Brazil will takes place at the Apterous Arena at 1700 BST today.

[James Robinson]

THE SHOCK RESULT OF THE TOURNAMENT..... FAILS TO MATERIALISE

Kirk Bevins (Brazil) 7 - 5 James Robinson (Netherlands)

The long awaited quarter-final between Brazil and the Netherlands finally took place today, with many other countries waiting in anticipation for the result.

Both teams shared the early exchanges with maximum force, but as time got on, many could tell that the mighty Brazilians were waiting to strike.

And in the 5th period, strike at the heart of the Dutch they did, with the magnificent ATHETOID. After managing to salvage some pride with the final letters, the Dutch were still hoping to force extra time with the final numbers, but Van Der Robinson's men fell short, and rather than try to fudge the numbers, the Dutch decided to fall on their sword gracefully.

So, Kirkinho's Brazilian battlers advance to the semi-finals to face Hughska Binneja's Serbia team.

[Eoin Monaghan]

Hugh, when suits?

[Edward McCullagh]

BRAVE EOIN-GER-LAND OUTDONE BY IRISH-ITALIAN ONSLAUGHT

http://apterous.org/viewgame.php?game=262582

Today, the second semi-final took place today at Gandiseeg Ground today in front of an appreciative crowd today, as Italy under the kamikaze management of Eduardo Mccullardo proved a step too far for the young English team under the skilled management of Sir Owen Monaghanson-Tottington.

The first half was a so-so affair that passed without incident or controversy, but right at the start of the second half, the Italian playmaker Siomeone Quagliarella made a darting run into the box, only to be UPENDed by Jamie Carragher. Pirlo stepped up and converted the penalty past Jamie Theakston (drafted in due to his heroics at Soccer Aid)

Only 53 seconds passed before Italy scored their second, and it wasn't something that the hapless Theakston will want to put on his Curriculum VITAEx anytime soon. The English managed to grab a late consolation but it was too little, too late for the Eoingerlish as Italy celebrate getting to the final.

When asked about his team's prospects of beating Kirkinho Beveraldo Kirkrates dos Santos's team on Tuesday evening, Italian manager Mccullardo replied, "Mamma Mia! Jesus Cristo! Ay caramba!" and promptly boarded a plane to Guam. It is not known whether Mccullardo will turn up on Tuesday, though who would want to face the Brazilians on their current unstoppable form!

[Hugh Binnie]

BRAZIL WIN THROUGH IN THRILLING SEMI

Brazil 10 - 10 Serbia aet; Brazil win 4-1 on penalties.

Brazil came into this match as strong favourites, having brushed past the impressive Dutch in the previous round, but Serbia were also on fine form. Before the match, Kevin Keegan was heard to exclaim, "This one could go either way, or vice versa."

Brazil impressed immediately, as their silky skills and touches as light as AEROGELS helped them gain an early lead. The Serbian manager, Hugh Binnić, was almost lost for words, only the faintest "Ack" escaping his lips. The two teams went toe to toe over the next few passages of play and the Brazilians looked very solid, until the Serbs won a free kick on the edge of the box. Nemanja NUCLEATE fire one over the wall, evading the Brazilian goalkeeper, who saw the ball just too late to get it. It was a contest of high skill and solid defending throughout the ninety minutes, with neither side able to gain a decisive advantage.

Brazil kept up the high tempo into extra time with Serbia matching them all the way. Neither side wanted to risk scoring an own goal towards the end of extra time, but it was the Serbs' decision to play defensively that might ultimately have cost them the chance to go through, as the Brazilians are notoriously ruthless when it comes to penalties.

Brazil, as might have been expected, scored an AVALANCHE of penalties, and the Serbs couldn't hope to match them. The penalty performance from the boys in yellow was as decisive as some might have expected the rest of the match to be. Kirkinho's side marches on to the final and, if they can replicate their performance from this game, will surely take the trophy on 29th June at 7pm.