What gets your goat(down)?

[Derek Hazell]

I have noticed that people on here are generally quite easily irritated. There have been a few superfluous threads popping up here lately, which also irritates some, so hopefully this one will be interesting.

What irritates you? It could be something major, or something small that is maybe unjustified, but you just can't help.

To start the ball rolling, watching The Restaurant just now I have noticed that yet again they haven't told the narrator that the word is "restaurateur" without an "n". Seeing as by its very nature it is one of the most spoken words on the show, that irritates me.

[Ben Wilson]

Oh god, an infinite amount of stuff.

The letter 'H' is pronounced 'aitch'. Not 'haitch'. NEVER 'haitch'.

People who whistle in public should be shot. Have a listen next time one of these public nuisances comes up behind you, and see if you can identify the song they're whistling. You can't. This is because they're not whistling a song, they're whistling random notes in a pathetic attempt to appear tuneful. See also 'noise pollution'.

Harry Enfield. Just... Harry Enfield. Talentless gurning twat.

And the final spot must be reserved for people who walk straight at you expecting you to dodge out of their way. So much so that I have opted to never again lose this particular game of 'arsehole chicken', and exploit the fact I'm 13 stone and have an overly large torso.

Also can I put duplicate threads in here? Check the date that one was started too.

[Andy Thomson]

Mostly it's bad driving that irritates me - failure to indicate, stopping at a roundabout when there's clearly nothing coming, not pulling back in on dual carriageways after overtaking - get out my fucking way you morons! Lately a new trend seems to have developed - muppets that think they can enter a roundabout in the left lane and then take the third (right) exit! WTF?!!!

Rant over. Thank you.

[Derek Hazell]

superfluous threads

Also can I put duplicate threads in here? Check the date that one was started too.

Oh no!!!!!!!! I spent ages typing "buzzwords" such as "annoy", "irritate", "winds me up" into the search box to make sure this itself wasn't a duplicate thread. How ironic.
As a moderator you can combine them if you wish, but I think this thread could probably be made sufficiently different by general irritants rather than just things you could put into that imaginary room. Plus, as Andy has alluded, sharing these things makes us all feel better.
How's that for justifying the unjustifiable?

[JackHurst]

People who eat loudly annoy me an incredible amount.

[Kai Laddiman]

something small that is maybe unjustified

Hmmm...

[Gavin Chipper]

And the final spot must be reserved for people who walk straight at you expecting you to dodge out of their way. So much so that I have opted to never again lose this particular game of 'arsehole chicken', and exploit the fact I'm 13 stone and have an overly large torso.

A couple of tactics for this:

If you see a group of people walking side by side and it looks like they're going to expect you to walk in the road rather then split up their side-by-side-ness, head to the opposite side of the pavement early. Then they'll have to go round you.

As for individuals, obviously stand your ground. If it looks like a collision is likely, slow down and even stop, but don't step to the side. Then when the collision occurs, they've walked into you. Obviously in these one on one situations, you have to weigh up beforehand who should really move over anyway - you don't want to end up being the arsehole. I'm quite happy to move over, but sometimes it's their job to - especially if you've just walked one side of somebody else and they're expecting you to do a fucking slalom.

[Alec Rivers]

And the final spot must be reserved for people who walk straight at you expecting you to dodge out of their way. So much so that I have opted to never again lose this particular game of 'arsehole chicken', and exploit the fact I'm 13 stone and have an overly large torso.

A couple of tactics for this:

If you see a group of people walking side by side and it looks like they're going to expect you to walk in the road rather then split up their side-by-side-ness, head to the opposite side of the pavement early. Then they'll have to go round you.

As for individuals, obviously stand your ground. If it looks like a collision is likely, slow down and even stop, but don't step to the side. Then when the collision occurs, they've walked into you. Obviously in these one on one situations, you have to weigh up beforehand who should really move over anyway - you don't want to end up being the arsehole. I'm quite happy to move over, but sometimes it's their job to - especially if you've just walked one side of somebody else and they're expecting you to do a fucking slalom.

I'm sure there used to be a simple rule (in the days when respect was still in vogue) that you let people who were walking with their back to traffic go on the side of the pavement away from the road, because you could see what's coming.

[Ralph Gillions]

Long hair tossers.
Or should that be long-haired tossers.
No perhaps it should be people with long hair who toss it all the time and can't keep their hands off it.

Too much use of the word "like".

The increase in the number of people who drop the letter T.

[Ian Volante]

And the final spot must be reserved for people who walk straight at you expecting you to dodge out of their way. So much so that I have opted to never again lose this particular game of 'arsehole chicken', and exploit the fact I'm 13 stone and have an overly large torso.

A couple of tactics for this:

If you see a group of people walking side by side and it looks like they're going to expect you to walk in the road rather then split up their side-by-side-ness, head to the opposite side of the pavement early. Then they'll have to go round you.

As for individuals, obviously stand your ground. If it looks like a collision is likely, slow down and even stop, but don't step to the side. Then when the collision occurs, they've walked into you. Obviously in these one on one situations, you have to weigh up beforehand who should really move over anyway - you don't want to end up being the arsehole. I'm quite happy to move over, but sometimes it's their job to - especially if you've just walked one side of somebody else and they're expecting you to do a fucking slalom.

I'm sure there used to be a simple rule (in the days when respect was still in vogue) that you let people who were walking with their back to traffic go on the side of the pavement away from the road, because you could see what's coming.

Also, a lot of people seem unable to look more than two feet in front of them, so instead of wlaking on the same side of the path as the person(s) ahead of them, they can't help but bimble along in the middle, so causing the aforementioned slaloming.

[Phil Reynolds]

I used to get mildly irritated by people who pronounce "mischievous" as if it were spelt "mis-cheev-us" or - even worse - "mis-cheevy-us". However, I was living in a fool's paradise and didn't know what irritated was until I started hearing that song by Noisettes on the radio 20 times a day. You know, the one where she actually sings it that way, ffs.

[George Jenkins]

I almost said that nothing annoys me nowadays, and I always give way to the ladies on pavements. I find also that people make room to pass each other as a matter of course. Then I spoilt my nights sleep by remembering my hatred for music accompanying documentary programmes on television. I feel insulted that producers think that I need screeching violns competing with talkers to enjoy their programmes. So far,I haven't started foaming at the mouth, but I feel that it won't be long.

[Sue Sanders]

Middle lane drivers. Especially if they are leaning slightly forward and grasping the wheel too tight, and extra especially if they don't look as I drive past them (I like it best if I can stay in the inside lane to do so) when I'm doing my 'middle lane wanker' glare at them.

[Charlie Reams]

Pseudoscience, hypercorrection (especially phony pluralae), linguistic snobbery, impunctuality, superstition, ticking clocks, fuzzy thinking, misuse of the word "genius", toenails, intellectual dishonesty, nationalism, cake, amateur psychology (ie all psychology), musical snobbery, preoccupation with alcohol (positively or negatively), culinary snobbery, the concept of "networking", birdsong, my own cooking, Java's image caching subsystem...

But none of them trouble me half as much as the things I like please me.

[Jon O'Neill]

Separate hot and cold taps.

[Alec Rivers]

Pseudoscience, hypercorrection (especially phony pluralae), linguistic snobbery, impunctuality, superstition, ticking clocks, fuzzy thinking, misuse of the word "genius", toenails, intellectual dishonesty, nationalism, cake, amateur psychology (ie all psychology), musical snobbery, preoccupation with alcohol (positively or negatively), culinary snobbery, the concept of "networking", birdsong, my own cooking, Java's image caching subsystem...

On your toes, troops; flippin' eggshell everywhere!

But none of them trouble me half as much as the things I like please me.

Ah, false alarm. As you were, gentlemen.

[Ben Hunter]

Separate hot and cold taps.

Time to move to America.

[Alec Rivers]

Separate hot and cold taps.

Me, too.

And when people say: "There's twenty people waiting outside." I just want to shake them and shout: "It's 'are'! You say 'are'!! Get it? THERE ... ARE!!!" But, then again, I'm not mental, so I don't.

[Alec Rivers]

Just thought of something else: expensive, unnecessary cosmetics and their commercials. I loathe them with a passion. I think they use the most deceptive form of advertising allowable by law. It's overloaded with pseudo-scientific jargon and carries so many false implications about what the products can do for you that I think it should be outlawed. Too many people are quite understandably fooled into believing things that are simply not true. Until the government can guarantee that it has educated every consumer well enough to ensure they won't be duped, it should have a law in place to protect them.

And, to make matters worse, in an age when we are more aware than ever of our collective responsibility towards high-priority humanitarian, environmental, and economical issues (of which there are so many), millions of people are still pissing billions down the drain in the pitiable pursuit of a beauty that can never be more than superficial. Some people spend upwards of twenty quid on a bottle of shampoo or some lippy, for heaven's sake. Give me a woman who spends two-fifty and gives the rest to charity any day.

Crikey, I've gone off on one again, haven't I?

[Charlie Reams]

You say 'are'!! Get it? THERE ... ARE!!!"

Why?

[Derek Hazell]

Pseudoscience, hypercorrection (especially phony pluralae), linguistic snobbery, impunctuality, superstition, ticking clocks, fuzzy thinking, misuse of the word "genius", toenails, intellectual dishonesty, nationalism, cake, amateur psychology (ie all psychology), musical snobbery, preoccupation with alcohol (positively or negatively), culinary snobbery, the concept of "networking", birdsong, my own cooking, Java's image caching subsystem...

An interesting and thought-provoking list

But none of them trouble me half as much as the things I like please me.

. . . and I think that's the first time I've ever been in a state of awww at a Charlie Reams post.

[Sue Sanders]

Just thought of something else: expensive, unnecessary cosmetics and their commercials.

Not a 'cosmetic' but certainly a product ...... The Weight Watchers commercial makes me absolutely seeth. That woman who stands in front of the mirror and says 'I discovered my cravings are in my head, not in my tummy'. So why is that so pleasing? If your cravings are in your tummy, you can have a glass of water and it'll make you feel full. If your cravings are in your head, what's WW going to do about that? You gonna pop along to your local class and have them give you a frontal lobotomy?

Some people spend upwards of twenty quid on a bottle of shampoo or some lippy, for heaven's sake. Give me a woman who spends two-fifty and gives the rest to charity any day.

I buy supermarket own brand shampoo - it's perfectly good for the job. I also defy make-up 'experts' who are aghast at the idea of women who keep make-up for longer than 18 months. Apparently it'll be swarming in bacteria after that time so the 9/10ths of the product still left unused should be chucked out before it gives you fish lips and a lazy eye. I have make-up products that are 18 years old. No sign of leprosy yet.

[Alec Rivers]

You say 'are'!! Get it? THERE ... ARE!!!"

Why?

You're kidding, right? 'There are twenty people', not 'there is twenty people'.

[Derek Hazell]

And when people say: "There's twenty people waiting outside." I just want to shake them and shout: "It's 'are'! You say 'are'!! Get it? THERE ... ARE!!!"

I'll be lucky if there are one person waiting outside my house!

[Alec Rivers]

I'll be lucky if there are one person ...

[Phil Reynolds]

When a checkout assistant is giving you change, you would think it almost pitifully obvious that you want to be given coins first, notes last. Most of us keep coins and banknotes in different places (or at least in different compartments of our wallet/purse), so you need to keep the coins gripped securely in your fist while you clasp the notes between thumb and forefinger in order to put them away separately.

However, it seems inevitable these days that, when I've paid cash in a shop or supermarket and am holding out my hand for change, with my wallet in the other hand, the checkout operator will put the notes and/or till receipt in the palm of my hand and pile the coins on top. I've now got both hands full and there's absolutely nothing I can do short of closing my palm to enclose the coins in a sort of paper bundle and trying to transfer it to my wallet without haemorrhaging coins everywhere.

(Aside: As anyone who worked in a shop prior to the advent of tills that calculate the change for you will know, this never happened in the days of the "counting up" method of dispensing change; i.e. you avoid having to do a subtraction (particularly error-prone in the days of pre-decimal currency) by starting at the amount charged and adding money from the till, smaller denominations first, until you reach the amount tendered, counting up aloud as you go. For example, a customer buys something costing 38p and hands over a fiver; instead of calculating £5 - £0.38, you would take 2p, 10p, 50p coins and four pound notes from the till and count them in that order into the customer's hand, saying: "40, 50, one, two, three, four, five." Those of you under 30 may scoff, but this is how virtually all shop transactions used to be done. Apart from giving the customer confidence that their change was right, the major advantage of this method was that they received it in the convenient order, i.e. notes following coins. As ever, Hutber's Law applies.)

[Jon Corby]

When a checkout assistant is giving you change, you would think it almost pitifully obvious that you want to be given coins first, notes last.

Meh, I disagree. I'd rather have the notes on the bottom as the coins on top will secure the note in place. It's much easier to hold a note with coins on top than the other way around. That said, I will (having given it a quick visual check) just stuff everything into my pocket, and sort things out (notes/receipt into wallet etc) at some later moment, because I have this real thing about "not inconveniencing other people in the queue behind by making them wait for me to do stuff that I could do elsewhere."

I assume you're talking about putting your notes away first before being handed coins? I can see why this is undesirable from the shop's point of view as well - once you've put your notes away, what's to stop you challenging the amount in notes you've been given when you've only got a handful of coins?

For me, it's most other drivers. People turn into such inconsiderate cretins behind the wheel, and it continually baffles me.

[D Eadie]

The self-serve checkouts that start bollocking you to 'put the item in the bag' about 0.1 second after you've scanned it.
Checkout operators at supermarket who throw your groceries down the slope at the end of the till, scanning them as fast as possible, then, while they watch you struggle with bags and packing, blurt out "that'll be £75.43p please", as if to say stop packing, pay up and piss off asap please.
Men who wheel their trolley bags behind them like effeminate weeds.
Buy one get one free offers, instead of making the item half price. Many pensioners would be able to live better if they could spend less at the supermarket. BOGOF's don't decrease their weekly spend, and who needs 10 litres of Lenor anyway?
People who ring me, on my mobile, then demand that 'just for security', i tell them half my life-story.
The bloke in my local who tells me every single time i go in, that he 'watched it this afternoon'. I never know whether he means Countdown or if he's mistaken me for Iggle Piggle.
Music in clothes shops, men who wear their jeans halfway down their arse, call center staff who barely grasp English - i mean what's the point? British Telecom and Sky, who for years both used to bill me using the Christian name Ulysses despite my correcting them, The Football League Show and Steve Claridge and finally the shopping channels on Sky, (the best thing on the box in the evenings) who almost always charge £7.99 postage for sending the tiniest of items.

That's just this week.

[Phil Reynolds]

I'd rather have the notes on the bottom as the coins on top will secure the note in place. It's much easier to hold a note with coins on top than the other way around. [...] I assume you're talking about putting your notes away first before being handed coins?

No, I did explain what I want to happen, and it isn't being given the coins with the note balanced on top (which would be equally inconvenient), or putting the notes away before being taking the coins. I said:

you need to keep the coins gripped securely in your fist while you clasp the notes between thumb and forefinger in order to put them away separately

In other words, if the coins are put in the palm of my hand first, I can close my fist over them to hold them securely and immediately extend my thumb and forefinger to receive the notes. I've then got both held firm and can move to the end of the till area if necessary to allow the next customer to step into place while I put my change away, pick up my bags and leave. If I've got a handle of coins balanced on top of some notes, it takes me much longer to put my change away because if I'm not careful it's much more likely that I'll drop some of it.

I have this real thing about "not inconveniencing other people in the queue behind by making them wait for me to do stuff that I could do elsewhere."

Me too, absolutely - and people who do that in the queue in front of me probably merit a separate entry in this thread.

[Andy Thomson]

Carol Kirkwood's excessively cheery "good morning" when delivering the weather forecast on BBC Breakfast. STFU!!

[Jon Corby]

In other words, if the coins are put in the palm of my hand first, I can close my fist over them to hold them securely and immediately extend my thumb and forefinger to receive the notes. I've then got both held firm and can move to the end of the till area if necessary to allow the next customer to step into place while I put my change away, pick up my bags and leave. If I've got a handle of coins balanced on top of some notes, it takes me much longer to put my change away because if I'm not careful it's much more likely that I'll drop some of it.

Ah, gotcha now. Well that would be super, but how is the cashier supposed to know that? Are they meant to place the coins in your hand and then insist you close your fist? If you don't, they're left having to balance notes on top, which is (we seem to both agree) the most unsatisfactory method. So I think it has be a notes-first pile.

[D Eadie]

gripped securely in your fist while you clasp..............

extend my thumb and forefinger to receive...........

My eyes are watering.

[Phil Reynolds]

My eyes are watering.

Just relax and go with it - you'll be fine.

[D Eadie]

My eyes are watering.

Just relax and go with it - you'll be fine.

So long as you promise to take your Rolex off ?

[Phil Reynolds]

they're left having to balance notes on top, which is (we seem to both agree) the most unsatisfactory method.

Lol, how did you get that from my "which would be equally inconvenient"?

[Phil Reynolds]

Just relax and go with it - you'll be fine.

So long as you promise to take your Rolex off ?

You've played this game before.

[Ben Wilson]

When a checkout assistant is giving you change, you would think it almost pitifully obvious that you want to be given coins first, notes last. Most of us keep coins and banknotes in different places (or at least in different compartments of our wallet/purse), so you need to keep the coins gripped securely in your fist while you clasp the notes between thumb and forefinger in order to put them away separately.

Oh god, this. Especially when they (for some utterly baffling reason) go notes, then receipt, then coins, which the till chimps in WH Smith seem espeically prone to doing. It gets even better when they also give you one of those pointless vouchers that you're never going to use.

Another addition to my list are people who work in call centres who speak in a high cheery voice only to drop their voice by about an octave for the final syllable of the sentence. Makes me want to rip out my own larynx in frustration.

[Jon Corby]

Wow, this is weird. It seems completely sane to me that if you're being given a collection of paper items and a collection of metal discs, the paper goes on the bottom of the pile.

[Alec Rivers]

Another addition to my list are people who work in call centres ...

And what's with all this "Thank you for providing me with that information, Mr Rivers" bollocks. It's SOOOO effin' patronising! I actually tell them to stop it. I say something like: "I know you've been trained to use all these stock phrases because your employer doesn't trust you to think for yourself, but please just talk to me like you would if you met me in the street."

[Ben Wilson]

Wow, this is weird. It seems completely sane to me that if you're being given a collection of paper items and a collection of metal discs, the paper goes on the bottom of the pile.

The key thing is the order in which you put said items away. Wallet in one hand, coins in the other with slips of paper underneath. Try putting the coins into your wallet without crumpling the paper, whilst also walking away from the counter AND carrying the shopping you just bought.

[Jon Corby]

Wow, this is weird. It seems completely sane to me that if you're being given a collection of paper items and a collection of metal discs, the paper goes on the bottom of the pile.

The key thing is the order in which you put said items away. Wallet in one hand, coins in the other with slips of paper underneath. Try putting the coins into your wallet without crumpling the paper, whilst also walking away from the counter AND carrying the shopping you just bought.

Sure, but unless they wait for you to put each different item away (which as I've said is undesirable from the shop's POV) you're still left with them all in your hand. Except you'd have the paper on top, which will fall off as soon as you move. I'm really confused

[Phil Reynolds]

It seems completely sane to me that if you're being given a collection of paper items and a collection of metal discs, the paper goes on the bottom of the pile.

We can all play the reductio ad absurdum game. It seems completely sane to me that if you're being given a collection of items that need to be put in different places, it's reasonable to expect to be given them in a way that makes it easy to keep them separate.

Even if, like you, I simply put the notes and coins all together into my pocket, I would still want to be able to hold them securely while doing so. Notes on top of coins is OK when the notes are old and crumpled and the coins weigh them down; but quite often they're new, shiny, less flexible notes and you can't close your fist on them without all the coins sliding off.

[Phil Reynolds]

Except you'd have the paper on top, which will fall off as soon as you move.

No, you wouldn't. This is the third time I've said this now.

[Matt Morrison]

I'm actually quite down with the whole notes-then-coins thing, as I don't store coins in my wallet. So once I've got the lot in my hand, I can close fist and walk away. Then it's easy enough to just slide the coins out of my hand into my pocket while keeping the grip on the notes and then open the wallet to put those in.

I always tend to keep my receipts in the bag along with whatever I've purchased (I don't ever seem to purchase anything expensive enough in the high street to justify paying special attention to the receipt), and get pretty annoyed when I don't get asked where I want it - if I get handed notes-coins-receipt all into one hand there's usually a slightly hectic race to separate the receipt and then place it on top of the purchased items before the fuck behind the counter has started bagging them.

[James Robinson]

Those dreaded cyclists!

They are just about the most annoying thing to drivers today. Just weaving in and out and in out. What's even worse, they're about as thin as a paper clip! Why should I care about them if they don't even use 1% of the road

Another thing: drivers disobeying speed limits

Speed limits are there for a reason. They should just adhere to them, like any sensible person. You have all these people in their modified car with super big spoilers and exhausts just revving around like an F1 driver. It's just completely nuts. I can't cope with it.

To solve both problems, I'd personally like my car fitted with James Bond-like tyre slashers or laser beams (as in Goldfinger & The Living Daylights). That'll teach them to annoy me

It would probably be the most ambitious thing ever done to a Ford Focus (that's what I drive).

[Alec Rivers]

Except you'd have the paper on top, which will fall off as soon as you move. I'm really confused

Coins held in (partial) fist by middle finger, ring finger, and little finger, leaving the thumb and index finger free to hold the notes.

[Jon Corby]

Except you'd have the paper on top, which will fall off as soon as you move. I'm really confused

Coins held in (partial) fist by middle finger, ring finger, and little finger, leaving the thumb and index finger free to hold the notes.

Yes, but how is the cashier to know this is your intention? If you don't close your hand up like this, you're left with the precarious pile. And an annoyed customer.

[Matt Morrison]

Like this, right?

[Charlie Reams]

I like this thread.

You're kidding, right? 'There are twenty people', not 'there is twenty people'.

"There is..." is already a special construct in English.

For example if I said "John is a man with a bag, and John is a man with an umbrella", you'd take this to mean that John is a man with a bag and an umbrella, i.e. I'm referring to the same man both times, because "is" sets up a kind of equivalence. However if I said "There is a man with a bag, and there is a man with an umbrella", you wouldn't assume I was referring to the same person.

As a second example, to my ears phrasing like "There are a man and a woman" sounds utterly bizarre, but presumably you'd have to say that was correct.

So given that it's already idiomatic, I don't see any particular reason to require that it follow the usual rules of verb agreement.

Buy one get one free offers, instead of making the item half price. Many pensioners would be able to live better if they could spend less at the supermarket. BOGOF's don't decrease their weekly spend, and who needs 10 litres of Lenor anyway?

In Canada, you can always buy one for half price if you're offered a BOGOF. Just another reason why Canada is awesome.

People who ring me, on my mobile, then demand that 'just for security', i tell them half my life-story.

Last time this happened to me, I asked the guy to give me proof of his identity for the same reason. He was completely baffled by this and clearly couldn't imagine how this was in any way reasonable, so we argued for about a minute and then he hung up. That's customer service!

They are just about the most annoying thing to drivers today. Just weaving in and out and in out. What's even worse, they're about as thin as a paper clip! Why should I care about them if they don't even use 1% of the road

As someone who gets almost everywhere on a bike, I can assure you that the enmity is entirely mutual. Obviously a polite cyclist sticks to the left side of the road whenever possible, but when turning right or switching lanes at a junction, it's necessary to move across the road. Clearly I can't travel as fast as even a slow-cruising car, so I'm really dependent on a car letting me move across, which almost no one will do. So I'm quite often forced to get in some driver's way, which I'm terribly sorry forces you to sit on your arse listening to the radio for an additional 5 seconds.

[Alec Rivers]

It must be a generational thing. To my ears it just sounds so ugly, inelegant and uneducated to say 'there is' for a simple plural.

[Sue Sanders]

Except you'd have the paper on top, which will fall off as soon as you move. I'm really confused

Coins held in (partial) fist by middle finger, ring finger, and little finger, leaving the thumb and index finger free to hold the notes.

Yes, but how is the cashier to know this is your intention? If you don't close your hand up like this, you're left with the precarious pile. And an annoyed customer.

I don't think it would cause a HUGE delay if the cashier gave you the coins first to put away, then gave you the notes. But I think women's purses, small brick shapes with a large zipped or clasped section, instead of men's folding in half wallets, are better designed for just opening up and dropping everything in for sorting out later. So, ladies purses, boys - that's the answer! (I mean purse in the English sense, not a handbag) And you'd have the added bonus of a bulge in your pocket!

[Charlie Reams]

It must be a generational thing. To my ears it just sounds so ugly, inelegant and uneducated to say 'there is' for a simple plural.

Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with using gut feeling to think about grammar; it's not like English has any formal rules. But would you really say "There are a dog and a cat"? If so I applaud your consistency!

[Kirk Bevins]

As someone who gets almost everywhere on a bike, I can assure you that the enmity is entirely mutual. Obviously a polite cyclist sticks to the left side of the road whenever possible, but when turning right or switching lanes at a junction, it's necessary to move across the road. Clearly I can't travel as fast as even a slow-cruising car, so I'm really dependent on a car letting me move across, which almost no one will do, so I'm quite often forced to get in some driver's way, which I'm terribly sorry forces you to sit on your arse listening to the radio for an additional 5 seconds.

This.

And what do you mean about us using 1% of the road, James? I cycle everywhere and try to avoid riding over the drains so like to cycle a little way out - I always incidate when I want to turn right or switch lanes and it's frustrating when, as Charlie describes, drivers don't care.

[James Robinson]

As someone who gets almost everywhere on a bike, I can assure you that the enmity is entirely mutual. Obviously a polite cyclist sticks to the left side of the road whenever possible, but when turning right or switching lanes at a junction, it's necessary to move across the road. Clearly I can't travel as fast as even a slow-cruising car, so I'm really dependent on a car letting me move across, which almost no one will do, so I'm quite often forced to get in some driver's way, which I'm terribly sorry forces you to sit on your arse listening to the radio for an additional 5 seconds.

This.

And what do you mean about us using 1% of the road, James? I cycle everywhere and try to avoid riding over the drains so like to cycle a little way out - I always incidate when I want to turn right or switch lanes and it's frustrating when, as Charlie describes, drivers don't care.

It's pretty straightforward to me, Kirk & Charlie.

I'm heading home from work, you have tough days. It's now much darker at the moment of course, so being seen is essential.

My problem is I have so many rubbish roundabouts and crossroads to worry about without these tiny, annoying cyclists just coming in and out of me at any given moment. To me, it's a hindrance that they just keep on moving while not making themselves noticeable to us people in cars. These people who don't wear hi-vis jackets (I'm sure some of you do, but it definitely doesn't apply to everyone) and have the tiniest of lights are just a complete nuisnace to me.

By the way, motorcyclists are also included as well, even though they're slightly easier to see, but it's mainly because I think a road should be used for vehicles that are meant for it, not bicycles.

[David Williams]

However, it seems inevitable these days that, when I've paid cash in a shop or supermarket and am holding out my hand for change, with my wallet in the other hand, the checkout operator will put the notes and/or till receipt in the palm of my hand and pile the coins on top. I've now got both hands full and there's absolutely nothing I can do short of closing my palm to enclose the coins in a sort of paper bundle and trying to transfer it to my wallet without haemorrhaging coins everywhere.

Have you tried gripping the notes in the forefinger and thumb of the hand holding the wallet, sliding them out from under the coins, placing the coins in your pocket, and then using both hands to put the notes in your pocket?

And, the guy in the outside lane at traffic lights who doesn't put his RH indicator on until the lights go green.

[Matt Morrison]

I have so many rubbish roundabouts and crossroads to worry about without these tiny, annoying cyclists just coming in and out of me at any given moment.

Now I see where you're coming from. I mean, I see who's coming in and out of you.

I think a road should be used for vehicles that are meant for it, not bicycles.

I can only presume this is a promise to trade in your Ford Focus for some kind of roman chariot, or at the very least a horse-and-cart.

[Phil Reynolds]

It must be a generational thing. To my ears it just sounds so ugly, inelegant and uneducated to say 'there is' for a simple plural.

It can do, but your own original example wasn't "There is..."; it was "There's about 20 people waiting outside", and the contraction "there's" sounds a lot more natural than "there is" in this context in informal speech. Otherwise, to use a contraction but remain grammatically strict, you'd have to say "There're about 20 people", which sounds even more ugly and inelegant.

Plus, that word "about" muddies the waters even further; "about 20 people" can arguably be interpreted either as a plural or as a group of an approximate size. That's why people getting worked up about supermarket queues for "8 items or less" is such a ridiculous overreaction, as it's not necessarily even wrong:

"How many purchases do you have in your shopping basket?"
"Fewer than 8 items."
"What's the capacity of your shopping basket?"
"Less than 8 items."

It's just a question of interpretation.

[Alec Rivers]

It must be a generational thing. To my ears it just sounds so ugly, inelegant and uneducated to say 'there is' for a simple plural.

Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with using gut feeling to think about grammar; it's not like English has any formal rules. But would you really say "There are a dog and a cat"? If so I applaud your consistency!

You're right, I wouldn't say: "there are a dog and a cat". I would say: "there is a dog and a cat" because that feels like I'm actually saying: "there is a dog and there is a cat", but shortened a bit. However, when it's necessary to use the following construct I would say: "there are two animals: a dog and a cat".

[Sue Sanders]

By the way, motorcyclists are also included as well, even though they're slightly easier to see, but it's mainly because I think a road should be used for vehicles that are meant for it, not bicycles.

As a fairly frequent cyclist myself, I'm really irritated by cyclists who think that the pavement is their cycle track. I run the gauntlet of the traffic on my bike, so why shouldn't they? It's normally teenage lads -if it's night they've got no lights - bombing along without a thought for anything else. They need to be forced back onto the road where they belong however much it annoys Squash Robinson

[Phil Reynolds]

it's mainly because I think a road should be used for vehicles that are meant for it, not bicycles.

Where do you think bicycles are "meant" to go?