Bon soir, mes amis! It is I, Hercule Poirot, ze greatest Belgian who ever lived. Over so many years, thieves, blackmailers and murderers have all been unmasked by ze leetle grey cells of Poirot. Mais oui, the journey's end, it is near. This Wednesday, Poirot is engaged with his last ever case. As you English say, it is truly the end of the era.
Et maintenant, your usual correspondent has imposed upon Poirot the task of writing for this forum the Monday recap. Bien, it is an honour most magnifique, but it is not without its little inconveniences. Poirot is this week solving his final mystery, he is already flitting about like the fly with le derriere bleu, and now he must précis a game of the words and the numbers? Ma foi!
The suspects...
C1: Champion Sarah Taylor (2 wins, 188 points) has already shown herself to be a player most accomplished.... it is as if she has paid a visit to the studio before, n'est-ce pas? Mais oui, Anne Lambert told us she had been on Countdown before, but when Poirot, he looks at the list of past contestants... this Sarah Taylor, she is nowhere to be found. Oui, she could have since married and adopted for herself the new name, but there are 16 past contestants called Sarah and how do we know which she was? Pas de problème... the leetle grey cells, they do their work. You have noticed that Madame Taylor always picks the four consonants followed by the three vowels? Every letters round, like the working of the clock, the four consonants, the three vowels. Such order and method, it does not escape the attention of Poirot. How many of these sixteen Sarahs showed this pattern of picking the letters so consistently? One only. Sarah Hadaway, who first appeared in 1984. C'est ca, mon ami - they are one and the same!
C2: Challenger Mandy Middleton, for you English who are so obsessed with the aristocracy, is no relation to the Duchess of Cambridge. Even so, we learn she has a son called Liam who is a past quarter-finalist. Yet there is no Liam Middleton in the records. Truly an interesting riddle, until it strikes Poirot that Mandy has also changed her name, and the only quarter finalist called Liam in 31 years of this game was Series 67 quarter-finalist Liam Shaw. Oui, Hercule Poirot, he knows all.
DC: Susie Dent and Alistair McGowan.
RR: Rachel Riley.
OT: Other words or solutions.
R01: G M C S A I U R A
R02: N R E O M U N A M
R03: 75, 1, 6, 4, 6, 10. Target: 716.
TTT: SCAMPIES - "It's all about getting away from it all for a while"
R04: E U D J I D P O G
R05: R L W R I E A Y H
R06: 75, 100, 2, 7, 4, 8. Target: 300.
R07: G K V B O E I P D
R08: E A F T L E A C T
R09: 50, 8, 4, 10, 5, 6. Target: 559.
TTT: FALSEHUM - "There's no pride in this - in fact, it's a disgrace"
R10: R N O I T N A E Q
R11: R T H S A I E N O
R12: O A L M H E T I S
R13: F P S D E O U S R
R14: 75, 50, 3, 1, 10, 8. Target: 452.
R15: D I V E S W E L L (conundrum)
Mesdames et messieurs, a brief interlude while the suspects, they are gathered into one room...
Enjoy the show.
Round 1: G M C S A I U R A
C1: MAGICS (6)
C2: ARIAS (5)
DC: RACISM (6) SAMURAI (7)
OT: AGARICS (7)
Score: 6–0 (max 7)
Bon. Our champion Sarah magics herself into the lead.
Round 2: N R E O M U N A M
C1: MANNER (6)
C2: MANNER (6)
DC: MOANER (6) NEUROMA (7)
OT: ENAMOUR (7) NOUMENA (7)
Score: 12–6 (max 14)
Has Poirot not told you thirty-six times, do not miss ENAMOUR!
Round 3: 75, 1, 6, 4, 6, 10. Target: 716.
C1: 716. (75-4)*10+6 (10)
C2: 713.
Score: 22–6 (max 24)
Poirot of course solved this straight away. I spent the rest of the time waxing the moustache.
Teatime teaser: SCAMPIES -> ESCAPISM
Round 4: E U D J I D P O G
C1: JUDGED (6)
C2: JUDGE (5)
DC: GUIDED (6)
Score: 28–6 (max 30)
Ah... dommage. Mandy notices too late that she could have added the other D. No matter. The alphabet is not a matter of life and death. Except that time when people were being murdered in alphabetical order.
Round 5: R L W R I E A Y H
C1: WEARILY (7)
C2: RELAY (5)
DC: HAYWIRE (7)
OT: WHIRLER (7)
Score: 35–6 (max 37)
Mon Dieu! If Sarah wins this match too early, there will be no need for Poirot to show off with a grand summing up at the end!
Round 6: 75, 100, 2, 7, 4, 8. Target: 300.
C1: 300. 4*75 (10)
C2: 300. (7-4)*100 (10)
Score: 45–16 (max 47)
Even my good friend Captain Hastings solved this.
Round 7: G K V B O E I P D
C1: BIPED (5)
C2: POKED (5)
DC: BIKED (5) PIKED (5) BODGIE (6)
Score: 50–21 (max 53)
Susie and Alistair have found BODGIE. This is not to be confused with BUDGIE. For Poirot, birds have always caused the confusion most difficile.
Round 8: E A F T L E A C T
C1: CATTLE (6)
C2: CATTLE (6)
DC: LACTATE (7)
OT: ACETATE (7) FALCATE (7)
Score: 56–27 (max 60)
I must say I found FALCATE most immediatement, for it describes the shape of my famous moustache, non?
Round 9: 50, 8, 4, 10, 5, 6. Target: 559.
C1: 558. (50+5)*10+8 (7)
C2: 558. (50+5)*10+8 (7)
RR: 559. (50+6)*10-(5-4) (10)
Score: 63–34 (max 70)
Poirot is the master of the numbers, oui. He keeps his bank balance at 444 pounds, four shillings and fourpence, as a matter of principle.
Teatime teaser: FALSEHUM -> SHAMEFUL
Round 10: R N O I T N A E Q
C1: ANOINTER (8)
C2: RATION (6)
Score: 71–34 (max 78)
Ah, bien! ANOINTER is parfait in this round - to search for anything longer with the Q, is, as you say, the wild gooseberry hunt.
Round 11: R T H S A I E N O
C1: HORTENSIA (18)
C2: THRONES (7)
DC: SENHORITA (18) HAIRNETS (8)
Score: 89–34 (max 96)
C'est magnifique! Even Hercule Poirot cannot exceed this greatness! Poirot only found his favourite beverage, TISANE.
Round 12: O A L M H E T I S
C1: LOAMIEST (8)
C2: STEAM (5)
DC: HAMLETS (7) MAILSHOT (8)
OT: HELOTISM (8) HEMIOLAS (8)
Score: 97–34 (max 104)
Encore, parfait! Poirot of course found STEAM. Maybe it is because he spends so long on the trains waiting for a murder to be committed?
Round 13: F P S D E O U S R
C1: dousers
C2: SPOUSE (6)
DC: POURED (6) PROFUSE (7)
OT: POSEURS (7) PROFESS (7) PSEUDOS (7)
Score: 97–40 (max 111)
You will pardon Poirot, mon ami, for referring to himself always in the third person. Poirot must achieve a healthy distance from his own genius.
Round 14: 75, 50, 3, 1, 10, 8. Target: 452.
C1: 453. (8+1)*50+3 (7)
C2: -
RR: 452. (75+50-1)*3+8*10 (10)
Score: 104–40 (max 121)
George, my tisane, if you please!
Round 15: D I V E S W E L L
Sarah buzzes on 10 seconds to say SWIVELLED which is correct.
Final Score: 114–40 (max 131)
C'est fini - Sarah is a player most talented, n'est-ce pas? Yet even the leetle grey cells of Hercule Poirot cannot know whether she will be in the finals to be filmed tomorrow and Wednesday. Oui, Poirot would go along to watch, but alas, he has a prior engagement, namely the climax of his long and distinguished career. Alors, Monsieur Cole will return next week.
Au revoir, cher ami...
Further summaries are at:
http://cdb.apterous.org/series.php?series=69
