Name My Child

[Matthew Green]

This is a genuine competition. My first child is due in July and we are still without any boys names. We have plenty of girls names but we're pretty sure it's going to be a boy.
I quite like Zinedine and Tegucigalpa but for some strange reason the wife won't allow either. We were leaning towards Roman but are a bit put off by Roman Polanksi's riveresque behaviour.

If any of you can find a good boys name that we both like, I promise I will use it and one day tell my child about you. Nothing too freaky but nothing boring please.

[Ian Volante]

GENGHIS.

[Ben Hunter]

Papa Bouba Diop.

[Howard Somerset]

Jason. He may well grow up to look like his father's avi.

[JimBentley]

Alexei, Bjorn, Cosmo, Dalton, Earl, Felix, Gunnar, Hercules, Ice, Janus, Kaleb, Laszlo, Maddox, Nimrod, Olaf, Prince, Quinn, Rockwell, Stone, Tex, Umberto, Vladimir, Wolf, Xander, York or Zulu. Or all of them.

[Jon O'Neill]

I'm surprised, you look infertile.

Anyway, Jeremiah.

[Kai Laddiman]

Kai

[Charlie Reams]

Oscar.

[Andy Wilson]

Remi?

[Gavin Chipper]

Gan.

[Ian Fitzpatrick]

Rigden - why not? I could send you his crest too.

[David O'Donnell]

What about an Irish name?

Conor, Finbar, Diarmid, Liam, Phelim, Seoirse, Turlough or if you really want to traumatise the kid, Cú Chulainn.

[Matthew Green]

Actually some quite good suggestions so far. Keep em coming.

Jeremiah: Kyle connotations
Oscar: Independant reading croissant eater
Genghis: Hell yes but i won't be allowed
Kai: Rooney killed it for you I'm afraid
Papa: A definite chin-stroker
Gunnar: Won't be allowed but i like it
Earl + Felix: Too black, if I'm allowed to say such a thing
Remi: Ok, but a bit gay

And as for DOD's suggestions, it looks like a list of 16th century diseases.

[JimBentley]

OK: Anouk, Benson, Casper, Dex, Enzo, Fidel, Garrison, Harley, Istvan, Japheth, Kele, Leo, Mort, Newton, Orion, Pyotr, Quenby, Roald, Silas, Travis, Ulysses, Werner, Xuan, Yan, Zachariah?

[Gavin Chipper]

Maybe in the singular would be better, but basically this. It also has the advantage that you came up with it.

[David O'Donnell]

And as for DOD's suggestions, it looks like a list of 16th century diseases.

I think that's the etymology alright.

[Matthew Green]

OK: Anouk, Benson, Casper, Dex, Enzo, Fidel, Garrison, Harley, Istvan, Japheth, Kele, Leo, Mort, Newton, Orion, Pyotr, Quenby, Roald, Silas, Travis, Ulysses, Werner, Xuan, Yan, Zachariah?

Jim, these are good. I especially like Enzo, Fidel, Silas and Ulysses. I'll run em by the missus tomorrow. Anymore? These are the sorts of things I want.

[Matt Morrison]

Max Darren Green.

[Phil Makepeace]

Poet special alert!

Roky, Blake, Milton, Falco.

And some random ones...

Velocity, Jorge, Yann, Kuba, Jethro, Corky, Gomez, Efrim, Mauro, Fantômas, Patton, Echo, Ragan.

[Matt Morrison]

Fantômas, Patton

YES PHIL MAKEPEACE I LOVE YOU

[David Roe]

What are the suggested girls' names?

[Jon Corby]

Josef or Fritzl ?

[John Bosley]

Yesterday I found out the real name of a guy I have known for many years. It is Gladson because his mother was pleased to get a son.

Gladson Green - suppose it grows on you.

[Matthew Green]

Funnily enough, Gladstone is high on the list. Some good ones there Phil, thanks.

Funny story, I used to work in a school with a lot of African kids. The Zimbabweans had a tendency to pick a nice English word and name their child with it. Hence there were kids called Happy, Achieve, Lucky, Peace and Sunshine.

However, one family got it badly wrong. I think they were getting confused with the Diva Ms Franklin and they ended up calling their daughter Urethra Ncube!

[Gavin Chipper]

Grocer,

[Phil Makepeace]

The Zimbabweans had a tendency to pick a nice English word and name their child with it. Hence there were kids called Happy, Achieve, Lucky, Peace and Sunshine.

This reminds me of the Cantonese students I lived with last year, who all picked a phonetically-related Anglicised name when they arrived in Britain. There were some fairly standard ones, for example Ho Yi became Holly and So Yan became Susan. But then Tan Yen named himself Talent and the whole exercise became far more beautiful.

[Ryan Taylor]

Zulu, definitely.

[Michael Wallace]

Zulu, definitely.

Inspired by this, how about you pick a number from 1-26 and go with the NATO alphabet corresponding to it (A = 1, B = 2 etc.). 23 or 24 would be good.

[Ryan Taylor]

Echo is quite nice, although foxtrot may lead to bullying, not to mention whiskey!

[JimBentley]

OK: Anouk, Benson, Casper, Dex, Enzo, Fidel, Garrison, Harley, Istvan, Japheth, Kele, Leo, Mort, Newton, Orion, Pyotr, Quenby, Roald, Silas, Travis, Ulysses, Werner, Xuan, Yan, Zachariah?

Jim, these are good. I especially like Enzo, Fidel, Silas and Ulysses. I'll run em by the missus tomorrow. Anymore? These are the sorts of things I want.

Cool, I've got a few more:

Adonis, Alonso, Anatoly, Argyle, Aston, Baron, Baxter, Blake, Bronson, Bruno, Caleb, Cassius, Chester, Clayton, Colm, Dante, Dario, Devan, Donovan, Drake, Edison, Eldon, Emile, Erik, Everett, Faris, Femi, Finlay, Foster, Franz, Galen, Gibson, Gino, Grayson, Gustav, Hamilton, Harlan, Heath, Herschel, Hunter, Iago, Inigo, Ira, Irving, Ivan, Jackson, Jarvis, Jerome, Jonas, Joshua, Kaspar, Keenan, Keir, Kiefer, Kyler, Lars, Lester, Levi, Lucas, Luther, Mackenzie, Magnus, Mason, Milton, Mylo, Nate, Nelson, Nevin, Nolan, Norton, Omar, Ordell, Orson, Oscar, Otto, Parker, Paxton, Phineas, Pilot, Price, Quaid, Quasim, Quennell, Quinlan, Quintin, Ramsay, Reed, Reynard, Roman, Rufus, Santos, Seymour, Sheldon, Sirius, Sylvain, Talbot, Thom, Titus, Tobias, Tyrell, Udell, Ulrich, Upton, Uri, Usher, Vance, Vaughn, Vidal, Virgil, Vitalis, Waldo, Walker, Webster, Willard, Wilson, Xanto, Xavier, Xenon, Xerxes, Xylon, Yale, Yannick, Yates, Yul, Yves, Zamir, Zander, Zane, Zed, Zeus

Hope there's something there that you and the missus like!

[Jon O'Neill]

OK: Anouk, Benson, Casper, Dex, Enzo, Fidel, Garrison, Harley, Istvan, Japheth, Kele, Leo, Mort, Newton, Orion, Pyotr, Quenby, Roald, Silas, Travis, Ulysses, Werner, Xuan, Yan, Zachariah?

Jim, these are good. I especially like Enzo, Fidel, Silas and Ulysses. I'll run em by the missus tomorrow. Anymore? These are the sorts of things I want.

Cool, I've got a few more:

Adonis, Alonso, Anatoly, Argyle, Aston, Baron, Baxter, Blake, Bronson, Bruno, Caleb, Cassius, Chester, Clayton, Colm, Dante, Dario, Devan, Donovan, Drake, Edison, Eldon, Emile, Erik, Everett, Faris, Femi, Finlay, Foster, Franz, Galen, Gibson, Gino, Grayson, Gustav, Hamilton, Harlan, Heath, Herschel, Hunter, Iago, Inigo, Ira, Irving, Ivan, Jackson, Jarvis, Jerome, Jonas, Joshua, Kaspar, Keenan, Keir, Kiefer, Kyler, Lars, Lester, Levi, Lucas, Luther, Mackenzie, Magnus, Mason, Milton, Mylo, Nate, Nelson, Nevin, Nolan, Norton, Omar, Ordell, Orson, Oscar, Otto, Parker, Paxton, Phineas, Pilot, Price, Quaid, Quasim, Quennell, Quinlan, Quintin, Ramsay, Reed, Reynard, Roman, Rufus, Santos, Seymour, Sheldon, Sirius, Sylvain, Talbot, Thom, Titus, Tobias, Tyrell, Udell, Ulrich, Upton, Uri, Usher, Vance, Vaughn, Vidal, Virgil, Vitalis, Waldo, Walker, Webster, Willard, Wilson, Xanto, Xavier, Xenon, Xerxes, Xylon, Yale, Yannick, Yates, Yul, Yves, Zamir, Zander, Zane, Zed, Zeus

Hope there's something there that you and the missus like!

Does Richard Brittain come to you for aliases?

[JimBentley]

Hahahaha lolz.

Yeah, he does actually.

[Michael Wallace]

A thread called "Name My Child" and no-one's suggested Kieran?

Clearly some things really are beyond the pale, even for this place.

[Julie T]

Rather scary that you're reproducing, Matthew!
But how about Camberwick?

[Andrew Hulme]

Dixon with middle names Of and Dock

[Andy Wilson]

Wilson

I like it. Had a mate from Sudan when i was a kid and everyone called me wilson at school but his mam was the only mam who called me wilson

[Matthew Green]

We have a winner... Jim Bentley, a man I have never met, has chosen the name of my child.

If it is a boy I'll let you know which one it was and give you full credit.

[Charlie Reams]

Rather scary that you're reproducing, Matthew!

[Marc Meakin]

Hughie or Lincoln

[Sue Sanders]

What are the suggested girls' names?

Theresa?

[Matthew Green]

Rather scary that you're reproducing, Matthew!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Julie T]

Rather scary that you're reproducing, Matthew!

*deleted photo of my family that Charlie had no right to either possess or post*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I presume that you're referring to looks, which, coming from someone who uses another forum member's pic as his avatar, is a bit rich. I admit that Philip's hippy phase (now thankfully over) was not his best look. I was referring to you passing on your 'sick bastard' genes. However, your wife may well be a saint to put up with you, so hopefully her genes will win out!

[Julie T]

What are the suggested girls' names?

Theresa?

As in 'Theresa Green hill far away'?

[Matthew Green]

'Hippy Phase'? Yeah I heard that during the summer of love in '67, most of the kids at woodstock were wearing bum bags round their waists.

[Jon Corby]

IRONY OVERLOAD

[David O'Donnell]

I have only realised that I haven't wished you congratulations, Matthew. Fair play mate, my younger brother just had his first kid (medical miracle I know) and it's been the best thing that's ever happened to him.

@ Julie T - unfortunately, Matthew Green is a very handsome man to the point of making me want to hate him but his brutality on this forum makes me laugh ... sorry. I think you picked on Matthew first here so expect an inevitable backlash.

PS My brother called his kid, Brendan, but given your response to other Irish names I am going to pre-emptively say, yes, it was a sixteenth century Irish word for syphilis.

[Julie T]

@ Julie T - unfortunately, Matthew Green is a very handsome man to the point of making me want to hate him but his brutality on this forum makes me laugh ... sorry. I think you picked on Matthew first here so expect an inevitable backlash.

?? wtf?
I was simply 'coming back at him', so to speak! Fairly light-hearted banter for this forum. Especially since I admitted that long hair and face fuzz didn't exactly suit my middle child, I would have thought it was fairly clear that I wasn't whining ffs.

Even if Matthew looks as handsome as Richard Gere, it doesn't make up for being as sick-minded as he is. It would be rather inappropriate to go into more details in a thread regarding his impending fatherhood.

The only part I've complained about is in a PM I've written to Charlie, asking how he came by a photo from one of my Facebook albums, when he is not one of my Facebook friends.

[Ben Hunter]

Even if Matthew looks as handsome as Richard Gere, it doesn't make up for being as sick-minded as he is.

It makes him even more attractive to me.

[Jon Corby]

The only part I've complained about is in a PM I've written to Charlie, asking how he came by a photo from one of my Facebook albums, when he is not one of my Facebook friends.

peopleofwalmart.com?

[Michael Wallace]

The only part I've complained about is in a PM I've written to Charlie, asking how he came by a photo from one of my Facebook albums, when he is not one of my Facebook friends.

He is a mad haxx0r.

[Jeff Clayton]

I would like to suggest that the child be named after a part of the town of Northampton, and hereby offer the following:

- Bellinge
- Duston
- Hunsbury
- Sunnyside
- Weston Favell
- James (as in Saint, as in rugby!).

Any of them strike a chord??

Jeff

[JimBentley]

We have a winner... Jim Bentley, a man I have never met, has chosen the name of my child.

If it is a boy I'll let you know which one it was and give you full credit.

Cool, really? Which one? Should I be present at the birth or do you think that might be inappropriate?

[Jeff Clayton]

Perhaps the babby could have two conventional middle names - James Richard, in honour of JimDic?

[Matthew Green]

I have only realised that I haven't wished you congratulations, Matthew. Fair play mate, my younger brother just had his first kid (medical miracle I know) and it's been the best thing that's ever happened to him.

@ Julie T - unfortunately, Matthew Green is a very handsome man to the point of making me want to hate him but his brutality on this forum makes me laugh ... sorry. I think you picked on Matthew first here so expect an inevitable backlash.

Thanks David. I would like to be modest and disagree but I'm afraid its true- the only reason I have profile pics of Austrian cellar-rapists and Autistic game-show enthusiasts is to give others a chance.

[Douglas Wilson]

Julie I'm not trying to be offensive because you often make jokes about your weight but how is someone who is clearly overweight any more of a good role model than someone who has a slightly close to the line sense of humour?

[Julie T]

Julie I'm not trying to be offensive because you often make jokes about your weight but how is someone who is clearly overweight any more of a good role model than someone who has a slightly close to the line sense of humour?

Heck, I only made a throwaway comment. I didn't really intend to have this debate in Matthew's baby naming thread.
However, if you insist, yes, I think that weight is a very minor issue. And, since 2 of my my children are slim, like my XH, and 3 are fat like me, although all have similar appetites and sportiness, I reckon that it's rather more likely to be nature rather than nurture.

Matthew considered it appropriate to write an apterous DC character called Josef Fritzl, with JF's photo, and saying lines such as "get down those cellar steps" and "I haven't got any longer words, but I'll rape my kids for you if you like". I know that Charlie deleted the character in the end, but rather over the line, don't you think? Hopefully parenthood will mellow him more than a little.

[Ben Hunter]

Hopefully parenthood will mellow him more than a little.

That or we'll have another Fritzl on our hands.

[Matthew Green]

Raising fat kids is child abuse. Fact.
I may make jokes about child abusers but I've never abused a child.

[Dinos Sfyris]

I think that weight is a very minor issue.

Really? What about heart disease and diabetes? Not to mention self-esteem issues obesity causes. Would you classify those as minor as well?

[Jimmy Gough]

So,

- Julie T makes a joke, which is maybe slightly insulting, towards Matthew Green about him having a baby. A bit inappropriate but there didn't seem to be any malice; I doubt he took any offence.
- Charlie posts picture of Julie's family for everyone to ridicule and laugh at. Pretty personal and hurtful; I'd be offended if people were laughing at my family.
- People question her parenting skillz, insinuate she's abusing her children, etc. despite having no experience raising children on their own on benefits - particularly the comments from Douglas and Dinos just seem way out of line and unnecessary.

Just seems everyone ganging up on Julie T just because she said some stupid stuff. If I was in her position I'd feel +