If Countdowners were sports stars...

[Matthew Green]

Craig Beevers: Stephen Hendry

The unassuming northerner was formidable in all areas and had an eye for the spectacular (split-second conundrums/147 breaks). Not as popular or charismatic as the overhyped cockney that he prevented from becoming the 'peoples champion' but widely regarded as one of, if not THE, best of all-time.

Conor Travers: Martina Hingis

The teenage prodigy burst onto the scene with some outrageous displays, capturing the hearts of the people and winning the big prize at the first real attempt. Progress into all-time greathood was denied by the emergence of a ruthlessly efficient yet slightly dour opponent (Williams/Gallen) but the once-wonderkid of the game will still be long remembered. A late comeback reminded everyone of the talent that is still there.

Julian Fell: Johann Cruyff

Swept all before him while producing some of the most entertaining and breathtaking displays ever seen. However, while domestic titles were easy to come by, the big one eluded him under suspicious circumstances (Was there a drug fuelled hooker binge before the final?/is GAMBIERS a word?) and he passes into folklore as the best player never to win the top prize.

Damian Eadie: Kevin Keegan

The former idol returns as manager to revitalise a sinking ship. While never managing to top the charts due to the might of a money-laden powerhouse (Man United/Big Brother), he takes solace in the fact that his creation remains the much-loved favourite of romantics and neutrals everywhere.

Harvey Freeman: Tiger Woods

Groomed for stardom from a young age and didn't let his peers down with a consistently spectacular career.

Ron Atkinson: Ron Atkinson

A fat racist whose opinion is not valued or appreciated. Hopefully, never to be seen on our screens again.

Jon O'Neill: Mark Phillipoussis

Didn't quite have the all-round game to win the major prize but was so dominant in one area of the game that he will always be compared to by future players.

David O'Donnell: Cristiano Ronaldo

Despite playing down all the hype in his pre-match interviews, he is now the current golden boy of the game and has the potential to go down as one of the best ever. Labelled a 'wanker' by many due to his on field behaviour (diving and posing/perculiar under-table vibrations).

Matthew Green: Jose Mourinho

Only ever a modest player, likes to give his opinion and now has too much free time on his hands...

[David O'Donnell]

David O'Donnell: Cristiano Ronaldo

Despite playing down all the hype in his pre-match interviews, he is now the current golden boy of the game and has the potential to go down as one of the best ever. Labelled a 'wanker' by many due to his on field behaviour (diving and posing/perculiar under-table vibrations).

I know I shouldn't admit this but I was thinking of you the whole time.

[Julian Fell]

Lol I liked these Matthew! (especially the flattering comparisons for me!) Nice one... I shall try and think of some myself, though I don't know much about any sports other than tennis and football...

For now I would say that Craig Beevers is more like the Chelsea team of 2004-05 and 2005-06 seasons - clearly had all the talent and ability in the world, but slightly frustrated viewers by always playing within themselves, not opening up and producing the scintillating play we knew they were capable of. But saved their most awesome displays for when it mattered most - Chelsea's 3-0 crushing of Man Utd to seal the title in '06 / Craig missing one maximum per game in his series finals...

[Jon O'Neill]

Absolutely brilliant.

[Charlie Reams]

Jeffrey Hansford / Barry Bonds: Both brilliant in their own ways, but doomed to be remembered as a cheating cu... person.

[Matthew Green]

Jeffrey Hansford / Barry Bonds: Both brilliant in their own ways, but doomed to be remembered as a cheating cu... person.

I was thinking more of Ben Johnson- lightening quick but a cheating cu... person.

[Charlie Reams]

Haha. Great list by the way.

And now, Pedants Corner:
Lightening: making lighter
Lightning: climatic phenomenon

[Julian Fell]

I'll try doing a few:

Graham Nash - Ivan Lendl

A great competitor considered, perhaps unfairly, a great "overachiever". Looked at in isolation, none of the facets of his game seemed to be especially formidable, yet the sum was always much greater than the parts and his focus and consistency drove him, via a series of wins over players considered more "natural" at the game, to the greatest titles of them all.

Scott Mearns - Ronaldo (the Brazilian one), circa 2002

Thanks to prior showings (100% score at audition/ scintillating performances at World Cup '98), great expectations surrounded his entry into the fray, and in terms of achievement (series & CofC champion/ World Cup top scorer) he certainly didn't disappoint. Yet detractors remained, and close examination of the performances involved led to nagging doubts as to his place among the all-time greats (didn't Ronaldo go missing for long periods of every game / didn't Scott miss rather a lot of easy words?)

Nita Marr - Martina Navratilova

Famed for incredible longevity at the top, and for succeeding across a range of different formats (9-round, 15-round, Countdown Masters / singles, women's & mixed doubles). Made improbable comebacks late in career (unexpected call-up to Supreme Championship / playing Wimbledon at 47). A great promoter and ambassador for the game she loves and an instantly recognizable figure.

Paul Gallen - Brazil 1950 World Cup team

Hot favourite for the title once the most likely challenger (Welsby / England) had been knocked out, they were traumatically pipped at the post in the most dramatic deciding match of all time. For a long time this devastating defeat weighed heavily on their psyche, but ultimately they used it as a spur and when they emerged from its shadow (CofC / 1958 World Cup), it was as a formidably effective outfit with no weaknesses in any department, which the rest of the field could not live with and which arguably ranks as the greatest of all time.

[Matthew Green]

I dont think Paul Gallen had the flair to be compared to Brazil, he always looked pretty miserable to me. Instead:

Paul Gallen: West Germany 1990

Ruthlessly efficient in the group stages until a last gasp winner (Colombia last minute equaliser/Defeat to MT) prevented a 100% record. Picked up when it mattered and cruelly dumped out the peoples favourite (England/CT) in the semis before sealing the title against the opponent that had denied him earlier (Argentina 1986/MT) making it all the sweeter. Never played with much flair or expression but a solid backbone (letters, numbers, conundrum/ Augenthaler, Matthaus, Klinsmann) ensured a comprehensive victory.

[Julian Fell]

Hey you can't say someone who comes up with DYSPNOEA has little flair! ... but I see where you're coming from Matthew, I like your version.

Would anyone else like to contribute some comparisons to this quite magnificently entertaining thread?

[Ben Wilson]

For me, I suppose Julian would be Michael Schumacher. Breaking just about every record in the book, smashing the vast majority of his opposition, but ultimately not as invincible as he often seemed.

Similarly Allan Saldanha when he first appeared could be Lewis Hamilton- immensely popular, young, and highly talented, but just pipped at the post right at the end.

[Gavin Chipper]

I would say that Allan Saldanha is a bit like Jimmy White. Brilliant player, he featured a lot, getting into finals, but never got that ultimate prize.

[Damian E]

Chris Wills - David Batty

Idolised in Leeds for the strength of his tackle, wasn't afraid to dribble in the box and could pick up loose balls all day long,

[David O'Donnell]

Chris Wills - David Batty

Idolised in Leeds for the strength of his tackle, wasn't afraid to dribble in the box and could pick up loose balls all day long,

"wasn't afraid to dribble in the box" - shome mishtake shurely.

[Stuart Earl]

Des O'Connor - Fabio Capello
Old bloke who is the new guy on the block. Got off to a decent but unsensational start (Couldn't possibly do worse than his predecessor). Getting paid a huge amount of money when it's actually the players who do all the hard work. Got a good crew around him. Handicapped by the fact that half the time he can't understand what the players are saying.

[Charlie Reams]

I look forward to your surely imminent appearance on Grumpy Old Men, Stuart.

[Jon O'Neill]

Chris Wills - David Batty
Idolised in Leeds for the strength of his tackle, wasn't afraid to dribble in the box and could pick up loose balls all day long,

Des O'Connor - Fabio Capello
Handicapped by the fact that half the time he can't understand what the players are saying.

Bahahaha!

[Stuart Earl]

Stuart Earl - Avram Grant
Gives all the appearances of being a grumpy old man - but is actually secretly a ray of sunshine, a bundle of sweetness and light, who goes through life with a perpetual scowl but only because others don't get his jokes. In private he's in great demand as a magician for children's parties, a singer in a raunchy night-club, an agony aunt in Hello magazine, tipped to be the winner on "I'm a celebrity get me out of here" next series, and actually loves everything to do with Countdown.

[Jimmy Gough]

Good topic so I thought I'd bring it back. I can't think of anything good myself though.

[Phil Reynolds]

Good topic so I thought I'd bring it back. I can't think of anything good myself though.

Charlie Reams: David Beckham

Golden boy of the game and the one most straight men secretly fancy.

[Kirk Bevins]

Golden boy of the game and the one most straight men secretly fancy.

Uh hum, what?

[Michael Wallace]

Well given that I probably wouldn't (not with that beard thing, at least), I think we can conclude that anyone who doesn't fancy Charlie sleeps with men.

Right?

[Phil Reynolds]

Charlie sleeps with men.

[Matthew Green]

Phil Reynolds: Diego Simeone
Kept goading David Beckham/Charlie Reams till he eventually snapped and kicked him in the back of the leg/kicked him off the forum.

OR

Phil Reynolds: Rebecca Loos
Kept goading David Beckham/Charlie Reams till he eventually caved and gave in to full blown sex on repeated occasions.

The choice is yours Charlie...

[Paul Howe]

However, while domestic titles were easy to come by, the big one eluded him under suspicious circumstances (Was there a drug fuelled hooker binge before the final?/is GAMBIERS a word?)

Somehow managed to miss this thread first time round, quality entertainment.

[Oliver Garner]

Harvey Freeman=Donald Bradman
Dominated the game before the new technology came into the game. It would be interesting to see if he would be good enough to win in the current era.

[Richard Priest]

Richard Pay and Claire Whittaker - respectively Jimmy Connors and Mikael Pernfors.

Connors beat Pernfors at Wimbledon in 1987 after trailing 1-6,1-6,1-4.

Pay beat Whittaker in series 51 after trailing 22-62 with only 6 rounds remaining.

[Charlie Reams]

Kirk Bevins: Jimmy White.

[Matthew Green]

Ooh, forgot about this thread. Lets see if I can update it.

Ben Pugh: Caster Semenya

Highly controversial. Despite official testing methods (apterous cheat detector/IAAF gender tests), nobody is really sure whether they are genuine or not (cheat/man). The verdict is out but most people think a bit of both.

Susie Dent: Kim Clijsters

Despite having a baby and in spite of many new faces in the game, she returned to cement her place as everybodys favourite femme. Her opponent (Wozniacki/Riley) may be hot, but theres something undoubtedly homely and likeable about this stalwart.

Steven Briers: Italy 2006

Deservedly became the grand champion, but wasn't the charismatic exciting victor we were all predicting or hoping for. A damp squib of a final but a cracking earlier match (v Germany/v O'Donnell) justified the title of best in the world.

Andrew Hulme: Usain Bolt

The world record had been set and beaten a few times down the years and a big fuss was always made out of it. Then along comes this guy and crushes the record while remaining completely calm and placid. It remains to be seen whether anyone will ever beat him.

Matthew Green: Mark Bosnich

Never had the career he had hoped for and fell dramatically from grace with explicit references to a notorious germanic psychopath. But doesn't really give a fuck as he's hooked on drugs (cocaine/night nurse and rum cocktails).

[Ben Wilson]

I was thinking the other day how to map Countdowners onto F1 drivers and totally forgot about this thread. Still reckon the Fell = Schumacher analogy works, even more so if MS had actually come out of retirement like Julian did at CoNot 08. I like to think of myself a little like Nigel Mansell- won the big one once and was always there or thereabouts, and had some success in a related discipline (CART/Scrabble). Could be extended to Jacques Villeneuve/Stewart Holden along the same argument.

[Gavin Chipper]

I was thinking the other day how to map Countdowners onto F1 drivers and totally forgot about this thread. Still reckon the Fell = Schumacher analogy works, even more so if MS had actually come out of retirement like Julian did at CoNot 08. I like to think of myself a little like Nigel Mansell- won the big one once and was always there or thereabouts, and had some success in a related discipline (CART/Scrabble). Could be extended to Jacques Villeneuve/Stewart Holden along the same argument.

And Jim Bentley was born on the same day as Jeff Gordon so they can be each other.

If Julian Fell is Michael Schumacher then Graham Nash can be Damon Hill - somehow beat him in a championship despite never really being considered among the greatest players.

David Williams: Jarno Trulli

Great qualifying performance, but not quite there when it mattered.

Allan Saldanha: Stirling Moss

Consistently put in great performances but never took a championship.

Richard Saldanha: Ralf Schumacher

Tried to emulate his brother but wasn't quite good enough (I bet you never knew Stirling Moss and Ralf Schumacher were brothers).

[Derek Hazell]

Ooh, forgot about this thread. Lets see if I can update it.

I was thinking the other day how to map Countdowners onto F1 drivers and totally forgot about this thread.

Last mentioned a month ago: http://www.c4countdown.co.uk/viewtopic. ... 481#p57481
Some nice new additions though.