c4countdown

Marc Meakin

If I didn't trigger a mass exodus (and I leave my cable cutters and step ladder behind) could I enter if i paid me money.
I will be bringing my own lunch (an orange in a clear plastic bag.)
Apropos to nothing is DoD coming lolza.

Marc Meakin

If he gets cold feet will it be a case of 'Sale or return'
lolza

Marc Meakin

There was a young man called O'Dee Who has taken a dislike to me I will no longer pun If he agrees I have won Or I'll give him a death threat or three. BTW could someone explain how a thread about opinions on me became 'Jarvis's Poetry Corner' revisited. Oh and lock the thread now please cos I wante...

Marc Meakin

It's only just occured to me that because it has been documented that Mary was only 15 when she gave birth to Jesus ergo God is a paedo (and committed statutory rape)
Looks like I'M going to hell, see you there DOD (c'mon guys had to shoe in a DOD reference didn't I )

Marc Meakin

BLASPHEMER.......sorry I am staying in a pators house (better than a spaghetti house)

Marc Meakin

'kin hell Doddy, I genuinely thought you were joking about getting a death threat mentioning auto-asphyxiation :D After hacking the password of Kirk, The Sanctum was breached by a jerk Threads found were all published on his website (that's rubbish) Causing Meakin to go quite berserk Corby you are ...

Marc Meakin

What the fuck. I can't feel my hands. is it cold where you are then or do you have capel tunnel and mores the point why are you trying to steer my thread off topic. If we must go off topic then : you are cordially invited to the engagement of Neanderthal Woman and Fat Sweaty Paedo time, 1300 place,...

Marc Meakin

Andy Wilson wrote:My poem:

There's this dude called Marc. I think it's possible he might be on holiday in America. He should probably make the most of it and go back to c4c when he's bored.

lolza

Marc Meakin

Limericks eh? Okay, here goes: This forum has characters odd, There's Jon and there's Marc and there's DOD. Marcs jokes are weak(ish)* DOD drinks like a fish,* And Corby's more upright than God.* * All sentiments, character traits etc. expressed here are purely for effect . No offence is intended o...

Marc Meakin

Greetings from Illinois, home of the Simpsons....Doh. in case those of you interested (or those who aint foed me),are wondering where I've been, I have been gagged for a week by Charlie (the first time he's done it, he says). In retrospect, it was probably deserved, however I think forumites should...

Marc Meakin

There once was a man named Mark; Whose jokes were transported by Ark. Originally in Latin, So misshapen an' shat in, Humour leaves him in the dark. Just for the record, who makes you laugh. Btw it's Marc. Would have sent you a poem back but nothing decent rhymes with either david or O' Donnell alth...

Marc Meakin

I think you're alright, and your non-flounce deserves some credit. I ask only that you exercise a little more quality control over your sense of humour. I don't know if you're joking Charlie but I do think Marc is fine and he knows that. Obviously the puns and whatnot are taken a bit too far but I ...

Marc Meakin

Charlie Reams wrote:I think you're alright, and your non-flounce deserves some credit. I ask only that you exercise a little more quality control over your sense of humour.

You do know the words ' I think you're alright' will be used out of context by me, when it suits me lol

Marc Meakin

David O'Donnell wrote:Then I apologise yet again; you're just unfunny and a cunt.

Let the (normal/sober) people decide.

Marc Meakin

Jon Corby wrote:First

Saved you.

Just for that I will PM you a death threat, your choice of exit.
What will be your valediction, I wonder?
Wouldn't want you to feel left out, oh and while I'm at it Jim Bently got off scott free didn't he lol.

Marc Meakin

Message subject: Next time you try to kill yourself do it properly From: Marc Meakin Sent: Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:57 am To: David O'Donnell Post Reply Message Plus it will save me the job. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE...... The death certificate will say auto-erotic asphyxiation. Okay that's a little funny an...

Marc Meakin

Greetings from Illinois, home of the Simpsons....Doh. in case those of you interested (or those who aint foed me),are wondering where I've been, I have been gagged for a week by Charlie (the first time he's done it, he says). In retrospect, it was probably deserved, however I think forumites should ...

Marc Meakin

I'd agree with what Dinos has posted above and I think anyone with half a brain would see that. Marc Meakin on the other hand is a different matter and I genuinely dislike you as much as you dislike me. Reading your outbursts this morning, and the PM threats through facebook and on here I felt emba...

Marc Meakin

...I always suspected certain people of hating or disliking me, but others (Kirk, Ryan, Dinos ) have really surprised me. I liked all of you, and am genuinely disappointed. This surprised me at first as I couldn't remember saying a bad thing about Chris. I PM'd him about it to which he quoted the o...

Marc Meakin

...I always suspected certain people of hating or disliking me, but others (Kirk, Ryan, Dinos ) have really surprised me. I liked all of you, and am genuinely disappointed. This surprised me at first as I couldn't remember saying a bad thing about Chris. I PM'd him about it to which he quoted the o...

Marc Meakin

Jon Corby wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:I WILL DEFO (IE NOT A THREAT) DO YOU SOME DAMAGE
That's the very definition of a threat.

It's also very much illegal. If I was Jono I would seriously be printing it off and taking it to the police station. Honestly.

wHAT ABOUT DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER THEN

Marc Meakin

Right I WILL SPELL IT OUT TO YOU,JONO, EITHER APOLOGISE ON HERE OR PM OR EMAIL ME.
oR COME AND MEET ME AND SAY TO MY FACE WHAT YOU'VE SAID ABOUT ME IN SANCTUM OR I WILL DEFO (IE NOT A THREAT) DO YOU SOME DAMAGE (YEAH I LOOK A BIT LIKE PHIL MITCHELL TOO.) CAPICE

Marc Meakin

Jono said (with a straight face) I think sending death threats to people in private messages might be morally a little worse than bitching in a private forum. Just stop. They don't like it up em You can give it but you can't take it (as raccoon boy said to CF) I told you to stop for your own benefi...

Marc Meakin

Jono said (with a straight face) I think sending death threats to people in private messages might be morally a little worse than bitching in a private forum. Just stop. Oh and discussing a PM publically is right because....................oh yeah your shit scared. They don't like it up em You can g...

Marc Meakin

So yeah, I didn't have a massive issue with you, I said you can get a bit irritating when you go into pun overload, but there were some genuinely funny ones. However, your rampage of death threats (private and public) and insults really does show you in a bad light, and I'll probably reconsider my ...

Marc Meakin

Defo for the pint (i probably mean in the singular cos for a fat bastard I am a lightweight) I can't understand how someone like yourself can offer friendly advice about stand-up etc when you obviously think so little of me in your inner (there's no cliques on here) sanctum that i find your niceties...

Marc Meakin

Im in and i'll bring me own C4

Marc Meakin

I think another poll should be made (not me this time cos im fed up with Charlie refusing me to vote, free speech my arse,) as to whether all inner RECTUM, i mean sanctum should be made available. IF ONLY SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE THE ONLY ONE BEING MOCKED ETC. Please bugger off and take your stupid pol...

Marc Meakin

I think another poll should be made (not me this time cos im fed up with Charlie refusing me to vote, free speech my arse,) as to whether all inner RECTUM, i mean sanctum should be made available.
IF ONLY SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE THE ONLY ONE BEING MOCKED ETC.

Marc Meakin

Best one yet, Jon and Jono's duplicity

Marc Meakin

This may or may not amuse you
http://www.gandiseeg.com/viewtopic.php? ... 3977#p3977
Btw Kirk is a top bloke.

Marc Meakin

Thought I would share my FB profile with you all. If you is with me then show your solidarity by requesting me as friend Cannot believe how a few socially inept nerds on a countdown forum can be such shits....shame on the lot of you and a gypsy curse on all the families involved. I WAS GONNA SAY BAD...

Marc Meakin

Why cant I vote on me own poll, was going to vote not sure.

Marc Meakin

Since the evil little clique has been exposed, what do the sensible (if there is any left) forumites think should happen now.

Marc Meakin

Always a vbit slow on the uptake, I JUST READ ALL YOUR PRIVATE POSTS ABOUT ME. I think a ginger cull is in order (oh and ginger ass licker Jon Corby) oh and Ben, apropos to nothing in particular have you ever picked your teeth up from the floor with broken fingers? Anyway, I FEEL LIKE i have been sa...

Marc Meakin

It's a private conversation. If anyone here never says anything in private that they wouldn't want repeated in public, let him cast the first stone. (Or her.) Well I throw like a girl but I am chucking a big fucking rock at your sneaky ginger head. Publish all the shit you have written about me and...

Marc Meakin

You're lazier than me, ever heard of google. Well yeah, but what I was saying is if the routine is going to be dyspraxia-based then you'll probably need a brief explanation to bring people up to speed. Suggesting they refer to Google in the middle of your set probably won't go down too well. Yeah m...

Marc Meakin

Good because I'm angling for a new hobby/career as 'Marc Meakin, the worlds first openly dyspraxic stand up comedian. I don't know what dyspraxia is, so you might need to explain that first as part of the act. (Drive only for me btw. Tried to have swimming lessons as an adult, but I just sort of si...

Marc Meakin

Seems to be the buzzword of teenagers these days, but anyway here is a few real jokes for you to either judge or laugh at: I had a row in a pub with a couple of agraphobics and the pub landlord told us to take it outside. Lonely hermaphrodites...................they can go fuck themselves i once wen...

Marc Meakin

I once, as a romantic gesture, put a rose up my uretha to impress my girlfriend, not so impressive when she yanked it out to smell it. Did she smell the rose too? Nah, there was too much blood due to fact that the stem of a rose contains minute barbs. Still When I take a piss at a public urinal it'...

Marc Meakin

Jon Corby wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:Btw. yes I'm still in love with Sue and I phone her all the time, but she don't know it's me.................Jokes innit lol
Made me smile as an opening etc

Good because I'm angling for a new hobby/career as 'Marc Meakin, the worlds first openly dyspraxic stand up comedian.

Marc Meakin

Chris, you are a top bloke. If anyone, including you Mr. Corby, can honestly say they have never cheated at ANYTHING in their life they are either Jeffrey Archer or are lying (to either us or themselves). Although I am not referring to Apterous play. Depends what you mean. I can't think of anything...

Marc Meakin

i once got my knob stuck in a tictac container and mre mum called the fire brigade
BTW I was only 11, at the time, can I claim my prize now
Oh and I once, whilst naked, caught my dick in a toy rifle when I tried to cock it (that was last year...jokes I was 3)

Marc Meakin

I once, as a romantic gesture, put a rose up my uretha to impress my girlfriend, not so impressive when she yanked it out to smell it.

Marc Meakin

This post has been deleted cause it was crap

Marc Meakin

Chris, you are a top bloke.
If anyone, including you Mr. Corby, can honestly say they have never cheated at ANYTHING in their life they are either Jeffrey Archer or are lying (to either us or themselves).
Although I am not referring to Apterous play.

Marc Meakin

Just recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia (can I declare myself disabled)
and I was wondering if I was the only one on this forum
So over to you pop pickers
Edit, doh looks like I,m dyslexic too judging by my misspelling lol.

Marc Meakin

Me again. I recently won a fold up mobility scooter for 100 quid, recently, mainly because the seller didn't spell mobility properly (good reason enough to get educated) so his audience was limited to dyslexics and bad typits I also won an electric bike for fifty quid that was being sold as spares b...

Marc Meakin

Yes the annoying punster is back (sans annoying puns) I'm 47 and it has occurred to me that I may be one of few able bodied people with the dubious (probably wrong word pedants) boast of not being able to swim or drive a car (Although in my defense I have recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia -dysp...

Marc Meakin

Marc Meakin is my favourite

Marc Meakin

The consultant who changed my heart valve was a Mr Soreen I wonder if his mamma makes malt loaf

Btw everytime someone goes to Cyprus she insists on malt to make her own maltloaf and i have to say she makes it as good as Mrs Soreen.

Marc Meakin

JackHurst wrote:You have changed, Marc. I don't like it when you swear.

Sorry, wont mention L...ds U...ed EVER AGAIN

Marc Meakin

Oh Christ, a Chelsea fan too. Are you a Leeds United fan, by ahy chance. The reason I became a Chelsea fan (I'm West Ham by birth) cos back in 1970 my dad hated Leeds so much he was rooting for Chelsea in the cup final and my 7 year old self thought my dad ACTUALLY supported them. Btw if that game ...

Marc Meakin

Have you been googling me and founnd the Romford scrabble picture ive lost 4 stone since then, although technically I'm still a fat bastard you long streak of paralysed piss :D[/quote] I don't know what you look like, but built up an image which was apparently quite accurate. If I lost 4 stone I wo...

Marc Meakin

Ryan Taylor wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:None taken, hang on a minute you spelt my name wrong you ginger cunt
Fat bastard.

Have you been googling me and founnd the Romford scrabble picture ive lost 4 stone since then, although technically I'm still a fat bastard you long streak of paralysed piss

Marc Meakin

Man, that's tmi even for quoting! Make sure she doesn't know you've posted details like that on the internet, or you'll be back to Maccy D's faster than you'd thought :lol: Oh, and make sure you take the right hand side of your script with you - the bit that lists all of your meds and repeat script...

Marc Meakin

I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS THO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsS811o21-k&feature=more_related Er, I think you just did :lol: I take it you're not in up to your nuts then any more, eh Marc? So eloquent (shit CR pedant alert), er we are on a 3 day break as she has the painters in and although i pref...

Marc Meakin

Oh fuck, now for the backlash.
Oh well I always wanted to crash and burn rather than just fizzle out.

Marc Meakin

Charlie Reams wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:Maybe you should reread my original post.
There's an assumption there which may be unjustified.

I guess if I have to explain the joke then its not funny.
Marc Meakin recommends you lighten up you ginger cunt

Marc Meakin

Charlie Reams wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:None taken, hang on a minute you spelt my name wrong you ginger cunt
I don't think you should be criticizing anyone's spelling in a thread you titled "Marc Meakin Reccommends" .

Charlie Reams misses joke, shock.
Maybe you should reread my original post.

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