c4countdown

Michael Wallace

We have cake forks. My family have always had cake forks. They are small forks you use for eating cake, and are also known as dessert forks or pudding forks. It has recently come to my attention that none of my friends seem to own cake forks, and I am starting to wonder what is wrong with the world....

Michael Wallace

I saw these at the checkouts in Asda yesterday (30p a pack) so not wanting to miss out on the excitement (and big money prizes of course) I picked up five packs. I entered the code from the first one last night and returned today to find that I'd only fucking won! So that's 1/1 so far and a profit ...

Michael Wallace

Matt Morrison wrote:Except you weren't really asking a question, it was more of a "so, airplane food eh?!" stand up routine. I'm sorry. I've ruined your joke AND called you racist.

Not really. I was pondering a post-CO:LON paratha party at 'spoons.

Michael Wallace

Does Wetherspoons do curry every day, or only on curry night? (And do they do parathas?) Goddamn you live in London! If you go to Wetherspoons for curry that's basically racism. I think if I went to Wetherspoons for curry I'd actually know when they do curry. That said, I did once have Wetherspoons...

Michael Wallace

Does Wetherspoons do curry every day, or only on curry night? (And do they do parathas?)

Michael Wallace

Matt Morrison wrote:he isn't an apterite.

How can you be so sure? Maybe he plays under a pseudonym like 'Michael Wallace'.

Michael Wallace

I had a paratha this evening. What the fuck. If I wanted pancakes with my curry then, well, I don't want pancakes with my curry. So there.

Michael Wallace

Jon O'Neill wrote:It seemed to me, when I switched on at about 8:20, that you'd realised you had enough points to qualify and decided to do really badly to lure your next opponents into a false sense of security. Right? Right??

I started trying to reply to this, but then I was too drunk. Sorry.

Michael Wallace

So, with CF and Ben Pugh already this series, surely there can't be any more c4c-related people to feature? Tonight's the last first round match so I guess we'll find out...

Michael Wallace

Jon Corby wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Edit: To my surprise, that is only the fourth time I've made that 'joke' on c4c. I've done it twice to Corby and twice to Ryan now. I wonder what we can infer from that.
That you lack originality?

BURN!

What I lack in originality I make up for in not being a chewing gum LOSER!

Michael Wallace

James Robinson wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Idoit
Now who's the idiot

Oh the ironing.

Edit: To my surprise, that is only the fourth time I've made that 'joke' on c4c. I've done it twice to Corby and twice to Ryan now. I wonder what we can infer from that.

Michael Wallace

Actually, what exactly do you mean when you say "put in the code"? You just put your wrapper under your pillow and wait to see if the Extra Tooth Fairy comes, don't you? Oh, I think you've been a bit silly here. You have to write your email address on the wrapper as well, otherwise how ar...

Michael Wallace

In all seriousness though, if 1 in 10 codes are (already decided as) winners (as opposed to each code playing a 1 in 10 game at point of entry), every win you report does actually reduce my chances. I hate you guys. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it says somewhere that that's the case (as in, codes are pred...

Michael Wallace

Woohoo, 1/5 now. That's the next justified. Looking forward to the excitement of pooling the results too. Hmm, so if you're on 1/5 and coon's on 2/10, I'm almost certain to go 15 without winning. I hate you guys. I need to get to the supermarket soon and restock. You might be able to catch up at th...

Michael Wallace

Michael Wallace

Jon Corby wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Just won my second fiver with what was the last of my (initial) 10 codes
Hmm. I'm on 0/2 now. I hope your good luck isn't going to be counterbalanced with my bad luck.

Statistically speaking that's inevitable. Sorry.

Michael Wallace

I've never heard of those Rinstead tablets. I have some 'muco-adhesive' tablets (via my GP) which you have to try and hold onto the ulcer, which are a real faff to actually use, and don't seem to work either.

Michael Wallace

1. Introduce a premium phone number style competition at the ad break to win £500. 2. ??? 3. Profit. They could totally tie that in to the tea-time teaser. Like ITV Play but with 8 letter anagrams "Today's is EARSTING, our first caller said ANGRIEST, but that wasn't right, I wonder if anyone w...

Michael Wallace

Douglas Wilson wrote:Pizza and salad tonight, everyone else?

Pasta salad made with conchigliette, which I still find really exciting ("It's like conchigli, but tiny!").

Michael Wallace

I've only seen these fuckers once so far, WH Smith in a train station - 81p each. Weird. Do you ever go in big(ish) supermarkets? I've only seen them in a large Sainsbury's and a large Morrisons. Yeah sorry I should have specified I haven't actually directly looked for them - they were just there i...

Michael Wallace

Matt Morrison wrote:I've only seen these fuckers once so far, WH Smith in a train station - 81p each.

Weird. Do you ever go in big(ish) supermarkets? I've only seen them in a large Sainsbury's and a large Morrisons.

Michael Wallace

Just won my second fiver with what was the last of my (initial) 10 codes

Michael Wallace

Phil Reynolds wrote:
Adam Gillard wrote:I did a fist pump when you got RAINSWEPT
Too much information.

I was going to post exactly this earlier, but then I thought it would be more fun to see how long it was until someone else did it.

Michael Wallace

My £5 cheque arrived this morning 8-) still no more winners though :( The letter that came with it encourages me to enter again "you could win another fiver" - no mention of the five win limit. If it weren't so much faff I'd be inclined to keep buying packs until I won five to see if eithe...

Michael Wallace

We also had a good night on the quizzer yesterday. Slow start but then whilst we were getting a pint a bunch of people took over the machine

but then all they did was put £7 in and lose it all

and when we went back to play we took £6 from one game of Pints

Michael Wallace

Charlie Reams wrote:Hey guys, this thread is pretty... POINTLES!!!

Fix'd.

Michael Wallace

Jon Corby wrote:Hahaha, lovely work Phil.

IAWTP

Michael Wallace

Someone needs to make a movie of this.

Michael Wallace

Do you need to acknowledge the win in any way from the email (confirm address or anything) or will you still receive your cheque even if you missed the email? Yeah - you have to click a link to 'claim your prize', which is simply just another way to make fewer people claim. I find it interesting th...

Michael Wallace

I'm on 1 out of 6 now. Shocking. Make sure you check your spam folders though, since it wouldn't surprise me if the emails could get gobbled up.

Michael Wallace

Indistinct name = harder to recall who they are and therefore what they do. I've no idea what you mean by an "indistinct" name. If as I suspect you mean "not distinctive", then as Karen pointed out there are other Skinners on TV, while I've never heard of anyone else called Herr...

Michael Wallace

James Robinson wrote:Speaking of goodies, is the trophy the same as last year's, with the obvious exception of 2011 replacing 2010

Probably (got to think about my brand synergy), although I haven't been to the trophy shop yet so they might not still have it, or might have something better.

Michael Wallace

Just been to the Post Office to pick up some packages. One of them was a Frosties Kid's cereal bowl (free with just 3 packs of Kellogg's cereal!) and ates ome Frosties out of it. At first I was disappointed, as the plastic material it was made from felt rather cheap, but then I noticed that in the b...

Michael Wallace

I didn't recognise Seymour Skinner, because I had no idea Principal Skinner even HAD a first name! Exactly. I would imagine that significantly more than 21% of the polled sample watch The Simpsons at least occasionally, but that lots of them do so without absorbing all the minutiae. On the other ha...

Michael Wallace

I was impressed by the guy picking cricket when he seemed to know less about cricket than I do - surely if you're that rubbish go for education, which is at least more of a 'pot luck' option?

Michael Wallace

There was a similar thing during the World Cup last year with some deodorant doing a competition where every can had a code you'd enter online and you'd be assigned a team - if they got to the quarter-finals (or further) you won an amount of money. I did some stats on that (using pre-tournament odd...

Michael Wallace

Matt Morrison wrote:
Jon Corby wrote:
Matt Morrison wrote:Jono - Zynga have just released Hanging With Friends for Android now, you little dick. I await your challenge.
Sounds like a rocking good birthday you're having there.

Why don't you go out and buy some chewing gum? Go on, it's your special day, treat yourself.

Michael Wallace

Jon Corby wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:There was a similar thing during the World Cup last year with some deodorant ... (I think I made about £50 from it in the end).
Yeah, thanks for telling us about that one as well.

No problem

Michael Wallace

Even if more people start buying their gum, they're still going to be paying you to do it. I don't understand! Obviously I don't actually know, but I presume someone has done some calculation somewhere that a certain proportion of people who buy their product (who wouldn't otherwise) won't bother e...

Michael Wallace

It's a current offer is it? I suppose the assumption is that if/when this thing goes viral, the outlay on winners is effectively treated as a marketing budget. Probably a more effective budget spend than on posters too. I can't imagine it's going to 'go viral' - you're limited to 5 wins per househo...

Michael Wallace

Jon Corby wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:There's a code inside the wrapper somewhere, which you enter on a website (along with your name, address and email)
How many have you entered, and how much have you won?

4 entered, 1 win so far. It was my very first code that won, so they gave me the taste of victory before defeat after defeat

Michael Wallace

Now that you've been exposed, how many packets of gum did you buy? 50 seems excessive when you might win with your first 5 attempts (okay, not likely but if my calculations are correct you're more likely than not to have won your quota of 5 at 47 packets). What form does the 1 in 10 game take? Is i...

Michael Wallace

:twisted: What can I say, I don't want anyone muscling in on my scheme. Actually, I told Facebook and I think MWM has given up his day job to make his fortune in chewing gum, but apparently we aren't Facebook friends so I guess that's your fault for hating me for being a gayer. Racist. Pretty cool s...

Michael Wallace

Michael Wallace

Charlie said people would find this photo of me looking awkward was interesting enough for c4c.

Michael Wallace

That's it, you're all colonned from ban:ned.

Michael Wallace

James Robinson wrote:
Douglas Wilson wrote:Didn't you try (and fail) to do exactly the same on your show?
In a sort of way, yes. Although, you could argue in my case that justice was done.

I just watched both (yours and Carl's), and I've gotta say, he was a hell of a lot smoother than you

Michael Wallace

After controversially escaping defeat last Wednesday I went and read the recap/spoilers thread for last Wednesday - what was the controversy? Sounds exciting. The fact that he buzzed in with 0.25 seconds to go in the conundrum, and he clearly looked like he blagged the answer. It's been mentioned n...

Michael Wallace

James Robinson wrote:After controversially escaping defeat last Wednesday

I went and read the recap/spoilers thread for last Wednesday - what was the controversy? Sounds exciting.

Michael Wallace

I went for Big Bird because Kermit pisses me right off, and Cookie Monster depresses me.

Michael Wallace

Adam Gillard wrote:
Jon O'Neill wrote:
Adam Gillard wrote:Are people planning to go on somewhere else after 7pm? Please let me know in advance if at all possible.
We went here last year. Your typical 'Spoons. It'll be that or a West End nightclub.
Cool. I might come to the after-party then.

After-party entry is £5. No trainers.

Michael Wallace

James Robinson wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:In happier news, the 2011 CO:LON freebies have arrived! Excited?

Michael Wallace wrote:Needs moar emoticons.
Can we have a sneaky peak at these freebies, please

I fear that the illusion is greater than the actuality (basically, anyone who came last year can probably imagine what's in store).

Michael Wallace

Jon O'Neill wrote:
Michael Wallace wrote:Excited?
Yeah

Needs moar emoticons.

Michael Wallace

I'm going to see whether a more efficient arrangement of the room can increase the amount of space we have available (I have a couple of ideas that will hopefully pay off). Not sure when I'll be able to get down to the pub to find out, but I'll keep people posted. As for spectators - the reason spac...

Michael Wallace

As long as I've not been scratching my arse-crack, my hands are beautifully clean anyway :) Or eating cirsps. But also, do you go around not touching anything? I find it hard to believe anyone's hands could remain in a constant state of 'beautifully cleanliness' without the use of gloves or a serva...

Michael Wallace

I honestly don't understand how people can enjoy eating crisps in public. WHERE DO YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?

Michael Wallace

Charlie Reams wrote:Eating an ice lolly or ice cream in public is also antisocial, if you insist on doing the thing where you draw it in and out of the mouth. Save that for the bedroom you disgusting fucks.

You just can't accept that you were a little bit aroused.

Michael Wallace

Matt Morrison wrote:And they've done three shows so far with no winners?

Dunno how many shows they've done but the guy on the first show won

Michael Wallace

Cool. So how many start? And what does the one person left get to win? Is it a million pounders? 1,000 to start with, apparently whittled down from an initial 100,000 applicants or something. And yeah, if you're the final one you get a 50/50 shot at £1m, so pretty good expectation as gameshows go, ...

Michael Wallace

Not seen this at all, can someone do a quick explain? Sounds like start with x of people who get whittled down to 1 through a series of 50/50 physical challenges or pure luck games who then has to choose red or black on a roulette style wheel to win a prize? Close enough. The whittling down is basi...

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