c4countdown

Alec Rivers

One thing that gets Countdown talked about is when rude words are expunged from the recording. Perhaps the show needs a bit more WANKING and FARTING in order to be taken seriously by the Daily Rail and its ilk. Perhaps they could do a late-night Countdown Uncut which includes those words. Actually,...

Alec Rivers

Derek Hazell wrote:... and the stupid slow string-plucking music just emphasized the bizarreness of the whole thing.

Phil Reynolds wrote:asbolute n A socially unacceptable plucked instrument.

Alec Rivers

My question to you, Matt, and any other forumites of a technical bent, is a simple one: Why did it take me nine fucking days to think of this? I think we tend to focus too often on the problem instead of the solution. The desire to continue using your laptop in the usual manner was so strong that y...

Alec Rivers

Matt Morrison wrote:Veni, vidi, viconcur it is then.

If you say so. lol. I never studied Latin.

Thanks, btw.

Alec Rivers

Cameni, Sarone, Concurrious. Maybe. No veni, vidi then? I refuse to believe for a single second that you didn't know what it was yourself, or that you actually wanted someone to supply the right answer, unless there was some kind of punchline you planned to follow up with. If that is the case, then...

Alec Rivers

Matt Morrison wrote:Cameni, Sarone, Concurrious. Maybe.

No veni, vidi then?

Alec Rivers

Matt Morrison wrote:20 to 29 is clearly the best.

Quantity does not guarantee quality.

Alec Rivers

Derek Hazell wrote:The Sun reported on page 3 that David Hasselhoff was begging Countdown bosses to let him be a "judge" in Dictionary Corner

If they said yes, the next headline might be:

Channel 4 scraps Countdown in face of sudden increase in suicide and self-harm among its viewers

Alec Rivers

I came, I saw, I concurred.

Sorry, no idea what the Latin for that is.

Alec Rivers

Oh dear, I just pm-ed you this scenario which confirms the diagnosis of many eminent psychiatrists. And I just read your pm before seeing this post. lol. I'm sure you'll understand my curt reply. ;) You didn't balls this up though: people assumed it was a puzzle when it's a multi-scenario option re...

Alec Rivers

Phil Reynolds wrote:Re new words coined in threads passim, here is an asbolute played by an enocunt

A-lol.

Alec Rivers

Ian Volante wrote:
Marc Meakin wrote:false stop
What's that then?

It's the opposite of a false start; e.g. where you erroneously carry on typing even though you've already finished the sentence grapejuice entropy Belgium.

Alec Rivers

[AOL] Me too. [/AOL]

Alec Rivers

Marc Meakin wrote:Wow, how long have you been waiting to do that.
(oh shit, I used a false stop and now I think it should have been a question mark).

Surely you needed an interrobang‽

Alec Rivers

Chris Corby wrote:Morons. No wonder we are breeding a nation of illiterates - and it's all down to not watching Countdown.

Hear, hear.

Alec Rivers

The audience yesterday were mostly made up of students, not the elderly we must be talking about different audiences. The afternoon one I was in had a handful of students there to support one or two of the players, but to suggest "mostly made up of students" is frankly pushing it not just...

Alec Rivers

Phil Makepeace wrote:Perhaps he's ewesed to it, Jason.

Nice one.

Although, as a more sheepish response, it does make my retort look more like I am lambpooning (nay, lambasting) him.

Alec Rivers

I am extremely offended by Jeff and Rachel calling the challenger on Tuesday by the nickname "Ram." Why? Because a ram is a male sheep! I wonder why he didn't frown when they did that. Why would they call such a nice man by a mean nickname? That is just wrong! Have you ever called Charles...

Alec Rivers

martin moore wrote:who ? im new you may have to explain ?

Sorry, that was a bit mean.
Without you having referred to any particular thread, I had no idea what your post was about.

Alec Rivers

martin moore wrote:the audience was mainly younger folk that day, im usually the youngest at 26 . but on this day felt quite old!

Do you know Jason Larsen?

Alec Rivers

Kirk Bevins wrote:Arghhhhh!

This is a record but it should have been a max game - I got UNLOOSE right on the bell but didn't find the U key in time. Soooo frustrating. Notice it's bloody round 13 too.

http://www.apterous.org/viewgame.php?game=136823

That's still freakily good, though! Unlucky.

Alec Rivers

Did anyone else think: http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/uu203/SpiritmanProductions/IngramPA1104_228x290.jpg http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/uu203/SpiritmanProductions/JohnDyer-1.png ... John Dyer ... Major Ingram :?: Yes! That's the first comment I made about him. Cool. I've put it in the Coun...

Alec Rivers

Kirk tells me this was his first thought, too:

Alec Rivers

I don't wish to sound impertinent, but what would you say the target audience is? :?: The BBC Three demographic is "young people", whatever that terrible new term means. On occasions when I'm particularly sick of advert breaks, I sometimes gravitate towards BBC Three when BBC1 and BBC2 ar...

Alec Rivers

Derek Hazell wrote:... a new show on BBC3, which I expected to be crap because of the target audience ...

I don't wish to sound impertinent, but what would you say the target audience is?

Alec Rivers

Alec Rivers

What, so there is a single answer? There isn't. There can't be. Am I fucking dumb or what? Bring back Kieran Child. Okay, it's all gone Pete Tong because the way I initially presented the question was unclear, and my subsequent amendments actually made matters worse. Tell you what, here's the answe...

Alec Rivers

Ian Volante wrote:He shagged her sister to death and farted in the general direction of her auntie? While wearing bloomers? That would appear reasonably psychotic to me.

Also not the answer. Incidentally, 'psychotic' and 'psychopathic' are quite different things. But keep guessing.

Alec Rivers

Ian Volante wrote:There's a clue? Sheesh.

Yep, the fact that it's encouraging you to think like a psycho. That should narrow the possible answers down a bit.

Alec Rivers

He's the doctor who diagnosed the mother as having the incurable congenital disease which killed her. He can't tell the woman at the funeral this because of patient confidentiality, but her sister has the same condition. Amiright? It's a fantastic answer, one I've not heard before. But you're not a...

Alec Rivers

Marc Meakin wrote:Yoko needs the money you know

Why doesn't she perform, then?

Alec Rivers

No, I mean these puzzles are always stupid because there's a million possible explanations and the chance of me thinking up the same one as you is, well, slim. Oh I see. Okay, I'll add a clue and remove that last line. You don't want to be the new Kieran Child, do you?! http://i648.photobucket.com/...

Alec Rivers

But as ushers we were asked to keep a very sharp look out for anyone videoing the show - because like many comedians, Tim faces the problem of audiences feeling the show didn't contain any new stuff cos they'd already seen it on the internet. I would never have gone to see him live if I hadn't alre...

Alec Rivers

Charlie Reams wrote:Is it possible to expect to be disappointed?

Do you mean me not receiving any replies? I've got no problem with that. I've just chucked it out there and if it falls flat, so be it. If you think I should edit out that last line, just say so and I will.

Alec Rivers

Did anyone else think:

... John Dyer ... Major Ingram

Alec Rivers

Puzzles like this can help determine if your thought patterns resemble those of a psychopath. A woman is at her mother's funeral when she meets a guy who has come to pay his respects. He says he's a family friend but she has never seen him before. Despite this, she instantly falls in love with him b...

Alec Rivers

Marc Meakin wrote:The lovechild of Eddie Izzard and Bill Bailey

lol. So true.

Alec Rivers

... meating minister ...

Alec Rivers

Matt Morrison wrote:On my way to 10 Downing Street right now, he won't know what's hit him.

Matt Morrison's Massive Manhood?

Alec Rivers

Incidentally, I wanted to buy a masonry drill. I stipulated one not made in China, because I've already got plenty of those. Every one with the bit worn away before I'd drilled deep enough. I found one made in Germany. Perfect. It's such a pity that I can't find one made in dear old England. One fo...

Alec Rivers

I'm impressed that you scrolled far enough down Google's list of hits to find that one. Nope, it was on the first page of image results. You say that like it contradicts what I said. :? Not bragging, but my desktop spans three monitors. Here's the right-hand portion (1680x1050): http://i648.photobu...

Alec Rivers

Phil Reynolds wrote:
Alec Rivers wrote:Search result for 'James Strawbridge'
Yuck. A different James Strawbridge, you'll find. But I'm impressed that you scrolled far enough down Google's list of hits to find that one.

Nope, it was on the first page of image results.

Alec Rivers

Phil Reynolds wrote:James Strawbridge with his shirt off

Search result for 'James Strawbridge':

Alec Rivers

Qué?

Alec Rivers

Sue Sanders wrote:I spent the year I was 33 telling people I was 'the same age as our Lord, when he died on the cross for us'. I think it scared a few people

Not least the bus driver who was only asking if you had the right change.

Anyway, Jesus died for our sins. Now let's get our money's worth!

Alec Rivers

Incidentally, I wanted to buy a masonry drill. I stipulated one not made in China, because I've already got plenty of those. Every one with the bit worn away before I'd drilled deep enough. I found one made in Germany. Perfect. It's such a pity that I can't find one made in dear old England. One fo...

Alec Rivers

Soz. Nothing personal. Just healthy footy banter.

Alec Rivers

Another convincing performance from Liverpool tonight. Tee-hee, chuckle, etc.

Arsenal 4 - 1 Alkmaar.

Alec Rivers

Congrats on #1000.

Alec Rivers

Ian Volante wrote:You bloody know-it-alls are a right pain in the hole!

lol. If it's any consolation, I used to write pedants' corner before I had the privilege of that brief exposure to the wisdom of our magnificent leader.

Alec Rivers

Craig Beevers wrote:Just in case anyone is bored of laughing at Liverpool

Never.

Craig Beevers wrote:the geordies with some more comic relief:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/footbal ... 342406.stm

lol. That's funny, too.

Alec Rivers

Ian Volante wrote:
Alec Rivers wrote:
Jason Larsen wrote:More's the pity that such newspapers like that exist here.
Pedants Corner

Tautology alert: Choose such or like that but not both.
"Pedants' Corner" methinks.

As Charlie has previously pointed out, pedants can be used here as an adjectival noun.

Alec Rivers

Jason Larsen wrote:More's the pity that such newspapers like that exist here.

Pedants Corner

Tautology alert: Choose such or like that but not both.

Alec Rivers

Ian Volante wrote:I thought throcking was what one does to a toaster that's not working properly?

Indeed: The action of continually pushing down the lever on a pop-up toaster in the hope that you will thereby get it to understand that you want it to toast something.

Alec Rivers

Happy Birthday, Julie!

Alec Rivers

... wouldn't that have been the equivilent of you missing TEANSONBOAST? It's the virtual equivilent of having someone crawl under your restaurant table and give you a blow job! Throcking (Herts) The Southern equivilent of an Ugglebarn I didn't want to risk coming across as some sort of pernickety p...

Alec Rivers

bad sex Oh, that one definitely is not always an oxymoron, as the straight friend who was the unfortunate recipient of my ORALITES one drunken night about 15 years ago could undoubtedly testify. Probably the closest I'll ever get to being immortalised. Thank you. http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/...

Alec Rivers

Sue Sanders wrote:Just blast it to furnace temperatures and eat it. The occasional bit of bacteria makes you more hardy, I'm sure.

As Charlie said, it's the toxins that some bacteria produce (which aren't all denatured by cooking) that are the problem, not necessarily the bacteria themselves. Sorry, Sue.

Alec Rivers

Charlie Reams wrote:So the final results are in and our winners are:

Division A: Innis Carson
Division B: Matt Morrison

Well done, guys.

Charlie Reams wrote:Their rewards are unlimited rights to kiss each other.

Make sure you post the photos here!

Alec Rivers

... and in IE it works fine apart from it returns escape character slashes in front of apostrophes, like so: "Now, can anyone tell me a way to change my text back to lowercase when i\'ve selected caps by mistake???" You'd think, by now, with Unicode standards having been around for some t...

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