Search found 6562 matches

by Matt Morrison
Tue Jun 30, 2020 7:02 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

Bowling shoes are awesome in that they are designed to help you play the game properly and reduce injury. They weren't just designed to personally annoy Gevin. (That's just a happy coincidence). They allow for a degree of sliding that regular footwear doesn't and you don't want to scuff up the thro...
by Matt Morrison
Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:35 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

Bowling alleys haven't made you use their shoes for, I dunno, a long time. You just wear your own, as you're in flats.

That said, I still get bowling shoes because they are absolutely awesome.
by Matt Morrison
Mon Jun 22, 2020 8:51 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

Fiona T wrote:
Mon Jun 22, 2020 2:53 pm
Most of you can ignore, but the software folks amongst you might appreciate this - I think we all have a duty to name our kids in a way to give us as much work as possible!

https://stackoverflow.com/questions/445 ... onscript-3
Ha!
by Matt Morrison
Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:32 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Fun stuff you've just found (music, games, etc)
Replies: 10
Views: 857

Re: Fun stuff you've just found (music, games, etc)

Codewords I've always called those ones (your enigma code)
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:22 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: People you shouldn't trust
Replies: 694
Views: 150382

Re: People you shouldn't trust

We've also talked about "text" a lot. I mean, I say "I fucking text you Gevin you prick". But then I am a bit common. However I don't go as far as to say "I sent you a texted", and that is a thing. Not sure of my point, but I love bringing up the "texted" thing. Yeah, there's a whole thread on this...
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:21 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Text
Replies: 28
Views: 3367

Re: Text

There are some fucking NAMES in this thread. And I am still bewildered that you old OLD people think "texted" sounds ok.
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 19, 2020 9:59 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: People you shouldn't trust
Replies: 694
Views: 150382

Re: People you shouldn't trust

...they'll write (and say) "Dave Edwards' nose" rather than "Dave Edwards's nose". Even worse is when they do it with a name that ends in an s but isn't even like a plural... I found this mental. I think in my whole time I've never met someone who considers "Edwards" as a surname to be a bunch of E...
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 19, 2020 9:58 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: People you shouldn't trust
Replies: 694
Views: 150382

Re: People you shouldn't trust

We've also talked about "text" a lot. I mean, I say "I fucking text you Gevin you prick". But then I am a bit common.
However I don't go as far as to say "I sent you a texted", and that is a thing. Not sure of my point, but I love bringing up the "texted" thing.
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 19, 2020 9:54 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

Thanks Gevin. You made it a lot more SFW than I was planning to.
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jun 18, 2020 8:33 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Inventions corner
Replies: 32
Views: 1912

Re: Inventions corner

You're wrong about pizza being like other foods Gevin. I think "hot cheese and sauce sliding unexpectedly off a pizza" and "hot filling bursting out from biting into a pop tart" are literally the two go-to examples of shocking food-based burning.
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jun 18, 2020 9:56 am
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Inventions corner
Replies: 32
Views: 1912

Re: Inventions corner

There is a reasonable temperature difference between what can be eaten with your fingers versus utensils This is what I would dispute. It's all about what's too hot to put in your mouth. Your mouth is more sensitive than your hands to overly hot food. No-one find themselves in a situation where the...
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jun 18, 2020 9:49 am
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: REALLY obvious things you've just realised
Replies: 271
Views: 64988

Re: REALLY obvious things you've just realised

Gevin : food is hotter to the touch than to the mouth How come I can comfortably hold a slice of pizza in my hand yet it burns my mouth when I try to take a bite? Yeah I'm not sure if Marc is totally wrong or not (my original inclination was that he is) but definitely the pizza example is terrible ...
by Matt Morrison
Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:38 am
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Inventions corner
Replies: 32
Views: 1912

Re: Inventions corner

For and hose with young children it's a feff to cool their dinners down at mealtimes , usually fanning a newspaper works But as most people don't buy newspapers now my idea is to have a dome over the dish and a device to create a vacuum inside the dome thus cooling the food Or a can of co2 maybe Yo...
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:32 pm
Forum: Countdown - Spoilers
Topic: B'day Championship Spoilers For Friday February 15th 2013
Replies: 48
Views: 5556

Re: B'day Championship Spoilers For Friday February 15th 201

here Chuckled when I read the opening line, and then looked down to realise I'd already been there 3 and a half years ago. Clicked the link and laughed again, before remembering I'd only clicked the link to remind myself why I'd laughed again when I made the comment after clicking it on and laughin...
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:31 pm
Forum: Countdown - Spoilers
Topic: B'day Championship Spoilers For Friday February 15th 2013
Replies: 48
Views: 5556

Re: B'day Championship Spoilers For Friday February 15th 2013

But yeah, I'm not sure where the original discussion has gone? It's funny how the brain works. I 100% thought it was on C4C and it was Kate Richardson.
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:29 pm
Forum: Countdown - Spoilers
Topic: B'day Championship Spoilers For Friday February 15th 2013
Replies: 48
Views: 5556

Re: B'day Championship Spoilers For Friday February 15th 2013

Top work Gevin. Thanks for the love on the GRAB.
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jun 11, 2020 1:36 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Trade Secrets
Replies: 120
Views: 12926

Re: Trade Secrets

If you go to https://youtube.com./ (note the .) then you'll get a totally ad-free YouTube experience (well, until they cotton on and stop this working of course). e.g. https://www.youtube.com./watch?v=no1vf854aUc The . at the end of a host name is ignored by DNS servers, so youtube.com. resolves to ...
by Matt Morrison
Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:42 am
Forum: apterous.org
Topic: apterous update
Replies: 34
Views: 1903

Re: apterous update

That's amazing that Phil did that. What a man. Much love as ever to him and Supee.
by Matt Morrison
Fri May 22, 2020 10:23 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Trade Secrets
Replies: 120
Views: 12926

Re: Trade Secrets

It's exactly as good as I think it is.
by Matt Morrison
Wed May 20, 2020 8:43 am
Forum: Games and Puzzles
Topic: Word related puzzles
Replies: 5
Views: 274

Re: Word related puzzles

Nic.
by Matt Morrison
Tue May 19, 2020 8:56 pm
Forum: Countdown - Events
Topic: CO:parkrun Recaps
Replies: 378
Views: 126409

Re: CO:parkrun Recaps

did you just watch the video of yourself doing the run before? if so how are you going to improve your own time?
by Matt Morrison
Sun May 17, 2020 10:26 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Weird stuff that's happened to you
Replies: 24
Views: 3664

Re: Weird stuff that's happened to you

Gevin, you should shout at more people. For SURE.
by Matt Morrison
Sun May 17, 2020 10:23 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Best TV/Film Opening Credits
Replies: 13
Views: 691

Re: Best TV/Film Opening Credits

Just dropping in to say great work Noel. What age do you teach? I admit I only flicked through the assembly with the Stranger Things intro (I mean I watched all the intros but only flicked through that one completely) but mostly it seemed very fun rather than learny!
by Matt Morrison
Sun May 17, 2020 12:34 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Weird stuff that's happened to you
Replies: 24
Views: 3664

Re: Weird stuff that's happened to you

I reckon she still wakes up bolt upright in the middle of the night, sweating, and thinking of you trying to get into her.
by Matt Morrison
Sat May 16, 2020 11:53 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Weird stuff that's happened to you
Replies: 24
Views: 3664

Re: Weird stuff that's happened to you

Haha. I'm not at all surprised this is the sort of stuff that keeps you up at night.

How wide was the pavement? Was there grass on the other side of it, a wall, or what? Could you absolutely not have walked around the gathering children and absolutely definitely weren't making some kind of point?
by Matt Morrison
Wed May 06, 2020 9:01 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: REALLY obvious things you've just realised
Replies: 271
Views: 64988

Re: REALLY obvious things you've just realised

That's a shame.
by Matt Morrison
Tue May 05, 2020 3:24 am
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

I certainly wouldn't have you on my table.
by Matt Morrison
Mon May 04, 2020 8:11 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

If you go to about 19:30 in this episode of Trust Me, I'm a Doctor , all forms of poncy salt are revealed to be joke items. Too lazy to click but i'm talking more about texture than anything - you, like the fucking prick you are, seem to think that powdered stuff is better because (scientific or ot...
by Matt Morrison
Sun May 03, 2020 9:53 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

Ah, so it's the electric aspect of grinders. Gotcha. Yeah we have had an electric pepper grinder temporarily in the past but, aside from the battery life you point out, I prefer the manual feel of grinding. And the goddamn noise. I'm actually in the market for a new salt and pepper grinder set as on...
by Matt Morrison
Sat May 02, 2020 11:39 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Who posts here?
Replies: 48
Views: 3336

Re: Who posts here?

Haha this is amazing. It would be nice if you arranged everyone by percentage too.
by Matt Morrison
Sat May 02, 2020 11:35 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

Hang on, I'm confused. Is there an issue with salt grinders in general? The use of the word "mechanical" somehow puts me on edge and makes me think you might be talking about a particularly special kind of salt grinder. Because yes, freshly ground rock salt is an entirely different thing to powdered...
by Matt Morrison
Fri May 01, 2020 10:52 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Joke Items
Replies: 110
Views: 5140

Re: Joke Items

aLSO YOU LOOk cooler with an analogue
by Matt Morrison
Mon Apr 27, 2020 9:39 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: People you shouldn't trust
Replies: 694
Views: 150382

Re: People you shouldn't trust

ryan
by Matt Morrison
Thu Apr 23, 2020 10:48 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Who posts here?
Replies: 48
Views: 3336

Re: Who posts here?

I remember when Gevin first started counting, I think I was about 6000 ahead of him or something. The little prick must be so proud of himself now.
by Matt Morrison
Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:55 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: NHS-worship
Replies: 28
Views: 1636

Re: NHS-worship

I donate money. And close the curtains when all the neighbours do the fucking clapping.
by Matt Morrison
Fri Apr 10, 2020 10:47 pm
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: When Countdown episodes run out
Replies: 78
Views: 5940

Re: When Countdown episodes run out

Weren't they all sex offenders?
by Matt Morrison
Fri Apr 10, 2020 10:47 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: What TV programmes have you been watching lately?
Replies: 541
Views: 155694

Re: What TV programmes have you been watching lately?

Third season of A Touch of Cloth, six years too late. Brilliant as ever. Stonkingly silly.
by Matt Morrison
Thu Apr 09, 2020 8:32 am
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: What TV programmes have you been watching lately?
Replies: 541
Views: 155694

Re: What TV programmes have you been watching lately?

Series 3 of Ozark and Don't F**k With Cats (the asterisks are the proper fucking title, not me being a dick obviously).
by Matt Morrison
Sun Mar 29, 2020 10:27 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: COVID-19 Coronavirus Thread
Replies: 89
Views: 5894

Re: COVID-19 Coronavirus Thread

You're biased as fuck because you love exercising. Spare a thought for people who like being social and people who like touching stuff.
by Matt Morrison
Wed Mar 11, 2020 8:46 am
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: Who is the greatest series champion of the 2010’s
Replies: 42
Views: 2659

Re: Who is the greatest series champion of the 2010’s

100% Callum Todd. He fucked the system by cheating on Apterous to make his opponents think he was way better than he was, intidimidating them into underperforming just enough so that he could narrowly beat them as his true (still quite good) self. Shove that up your apto arses This is going straigh...
by Matt Morrison
Tue Mar 03, 2020 5:29 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Politics in General
Replies: 701
Views: 127923

Re: Politics in General

Martin Peters wrote:
Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:49 pm
Such as Dancing On Ice with H and Matt.
When did I... I don't remember this at all.
by Matt Morrison
Thu Feb 27, 2020 9:31 pm
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: You Are The Ref
Replies: 211
Views: 24960

Re: You Are The Ref

I would like it if someone screamed to buzz
by Matt Morrison
Mon Feb 24, 2020 11:15 pm
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: Countdowners in the news
Replies: 131
Views: 45920

Re: Countdowners in the news

I find it really strange - but maybe I shouldn't - that Robbo's tweet got covered by at least two news sources, with links, yet the tweet still has absolutely no likes or retweets, and just one comment (someone telling him it isn't funny). Mad disparity.
by Matt Morrison
Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:36 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: What TV programmes have you been watching lately?
Replies: 541
Views: 155694

Re: What TV programmes have you been watching lately?

Marc Meakin wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 11:03 am
Matt Morrison wrote:
Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:55 pm
the outsider :-o
Good ?
absolutely. tense, creepy, slightly scary, exciting. not sure what's going to happen. highly recommended so far.
by Matt Morrison
Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:35 pm
Forum: Countdown - Events
Topic: FOCAL Code of Conduct
Replies: 23
Views: 4669

Re: FOCAL Code of Conduct

Jon O'Neill wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 11:50 am
Good personal hygiene should be required.
Not washing hands after going to the toilet is a bannable offence.
From personal experience (of watching other men very carefully in the toilets), the numbers at Colin would be decimated. And at the Fox & Hounds afterwards, the dirty locals.
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jan 31, 2020 10:25 am
Forum: Countdown - Events
Topic: Countdown in London (CO:LON) - 16 May 2020 - CANCELLED
Replies: 27
Views: 9216

Re: Countdown in London (CO:LON) - 16 May 2020

Torn about the 9 vs 15 final. Pros and cons to both for sure, but I'm fairly confident it's not a definitely bad thing. Does it make for a better result? Probably - more likely the best player wins after 15 than after 9, 9 round finals so often end in a conundrum race. Does it make for a better fina...
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jan 23, 2020 11:05 pm
Forum: Other game shows
Topic: Mastermind
Replies: 10
Views: 5855

Re: Mastermind

ah yeh that rings one
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:42 pm
Forum: Other game shows
Topic: Mastermind
Replies: 10
Views: 5855

Re: Mastermind

I feel like this has been discussed before, but has anyone done countdown on mastermind?
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jan 16, 2020 4:23 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Absolutely terrible claims to fame/celebrity spots
Replies: 45
Views: 4660

Re: Absolutely terrible claims to fame/celebrity spots

I feel a bit like living in London is cheating as I've had quite a lot of walked past/cycled past/saw on the tube encounters with celebrities of various stature, which I can try and recall but I suspect you're not that interested in. A really shit celebrity spot would be Big Brother 16 contestant Aa...
by Matt Morrison
Fri Jan 03, 2020 9:33 am
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: The Return Of Celebrity Countdown!!
Replies: 74
Views: 13111

Re: The Return Of Celebrity Countdown!!

so if it was sunday you would think "this Monday" was 6 days ago?
by Matt Morrison
Thu Jan 02, 2020 10:02 pm
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: The Return Of Celebrity Countdown!!
Replies: 74
Views: 13111

Re: The Return Of Celebrity Countdown!!

this monday is the next monday to exist not including today if today is a monday. sometimes next monday can be this monday.
by Matt Morrison
Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:18 am
Forum: Countdown - General
Topic: The first lexicographer
Replies: 10
Views: 1750

Re: The first lexicographer

Haha good work Mark.
by Matt Morrison
Tue Nov 26, 2019 10:23 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: Facebook Culls
Replies: 19
Views: 2442

Re: Facebook Culls

I always mean to "remove some people at some point" (definitely not organised enough to call it a "cull", especially as I reminds me of how wanky it is when people announce they are going to do a cull before they do so - yawn) but yeah, laziness. My favourite facebook hobby is saying yes to Countdow...
by Matt Morrison
Wed Nov 20, 2019 6:44 pm
Forum: Off-topic
Topic: REALLY obvious things you've just realised
Replies: 271
Views: 64988

Re: REALLY obvious things you've just realised

Jon O'Neill wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 6:30 pm
Also you don't even have to remove the peeler from the surface of the potato to continue peeling.
I'd go so far as to say that if you do remove the peeler from the surface of the potato, you won't be able to continue peeling at all.